"Murder In Soho" Part One

   I was woken up by a call from the department. I'm not usually up this early but the night Detective went on a three month vacation. We all get three months nowadays because nothing really happens anymore since the AI Androids took over as the beat cops in Metropolis and the surrounding area.

   With millions of calculations per second, they can judge if a person is going to commit a crime before they even know it. Then they take all the fun out of police work by stopping them before it happens and I never get to see any action.

   The jails in this country are filled with the few morons who won't be deterred from trying to do illegal activities and the homeless who have figured out that they can get a roof over their heads, a hot shower, and three meals a day while locked up.

   The only reason we have a few hundred red blooded humans left in the police department is, we have to be the witnesses for the prosecutors. The people watching the live visual feeds think AI bots are too cold hearted. We have to show up for court because we have heart in the eyes of the public.

   Even today people have the right to come before a judge and be tried as if they are innocent before proven guilty. Don't ask me why. Nobody has won a case in over 15 years with the AIs always having an air tight case with the amount of evidence they can collect. It's like I said before. The average person thinks that AIs don't have have any emotions, like empathy, as a human being would. Like that will ever make a difference. So it's all a facade to keep the voting public happy.

   I answered the phone without visuals. I know it is going to be a bot calling but I just didn't want to take any chances. I sleep in the buff.

   "Phone, answer." I said out loud as I got out of bed to find my uniform. "Detective Luna here. What's up?"

   "Detective Luna. Your presence is requested at the coordinates sent to your police vehicle as soon as possible." The bot said metallically.

   I interrupted. "What's the hurry?"

   "It appears Detective Luna that there has been a murder in the Soho section of Manhattan last night and the Police AIs can't figure out who did it." It replied.

   "Okay, I'll be on my way in 5 minutes."

   "A complete dossier has already been loaded up in your handheld Detective Luna. Unless you have any question for me?"

   "Yes, one." I said as I finished putting on my two day old, unwashed uniform. "Visual."

   A smiling AI's face shows up on my wall screen.

   "Why are you making the calls when a computer would do just fine?" I asked sarcastically.

   "Because studies have shown...

   "End call." I say loudly. Not wanting to hear the same answer for the fiftieth time.

   A smirk crosses my face as I think, won't Detective Sonya Richardson be flabbergasted when she finds out that the first real case to come across the homicide desk in five years was hers for the taking.

 

This is,

I Just Started Typing And

I Don't Know Where The Story Is Going From Here Either

Jim Hauenstein

 

And

To Give Me Time To Figure Out The Plot I Am Going To Write This Story Every Two To Three Days

 

“I for one welcome our new android overlords.”
- Robin Sloan -

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Cookietown, Oklahoma

Do you want to know why we have obesity in the

United States?

Because our children don't have a chance in life if they are bombarded by fast food commercials on social media,

billboards showing sugary treats lining our city streets,

and....The Town's Name That They Live In Is Named After Food?

Yes,

that's right.

The town they live in might be named after food.

We have

Chili & Cream, Wisconsin.

There is

Fries, Virginia.

Let's not forget about

Sugar Land, Salty, Oatmeal, Noodle, Bacon, & Ding Dong, Texas.

 There are a total of thirty-five towns named on the website

The Daily Meal.

And by my calculations,

that even isn't a fourth of them.

This is,

Don't Even Get Me Started On Town's Named After Women

Jim Hauenstein

 And

 

"When I lived in a small town, the whole town got together to help my family when tragedy struck our home. Now in a big city, my neighbor one block down doesn't know who I am."

- James Hauenstein -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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After writing this post, I feel like having some cookies!

Memories Of My Child's Lemonade Stand

I was going over some of my old
Posts,
looking for ideas I could write about.
When I read my post
The Value Of Money.
I had to laugh.
I like this story so much that I want to
re-Post
it.
It's from
June 14th, 2015.
 *****
If you are an avid reader of my
Blog,
you know that when my children were little I tried to teach them the value of money.

If you're not,
please read the
Post;
"And The Pursuit Of Happiness!"

Then you will know.
*****

I wrote this email,
on my cell phone,
to my
Sister-in-Law
while on my morning walk.

So please excuse sentence structure,
spelling,
and all around grammar.

Hi,
  I'm on my walk right now so excuse any incorrect spellings.
  I was walking past a kid's corner lemonade stand and it reminded me of a time when Jamie set up a lemonade stand on her own. She did the whole thing on her own. Making the stand herself and mixing up the lemonade. She was around 9 years old at the time I believe.
When I came home from work, I saw the sign she had made and it read "Lemonade, One Glass $10."
   I asked Jamie, "How do you think you'll be able to sell lemonade at that price?"
  She told me, "I only need to sell one. That's it."
  So I bought a glass for $10 and she ran off to her friends, smiling the biggest smile.
   After she had left, I noticed that I had just paid $10 for lemonade I already owned and that she had left everything in the front yard for me to clean up!
   Now that's Business Savvy!

At least I know one of my kids understands what the value of money is
and how to manipulate her
Dad!

She can still do it to this day!

This is,
No,
I Have Not Purchased Land On The Moon Yet!
Jim Hauenstein,

 

And

 

“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
- Groucho Marx -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I'll Be Seeing You!

 

 

I am really surprised that no one has commented on my post It Is Fun To Find Money. I guess nobody has tried it and found any cash! If you didn't get anything try doing it for your friends and family.

A Laugh For The Working Stiffs Out There

It's

Friday!

And I still don't have to go to work because I'm

 

 retired.

Which leads me to an old

Chinese

saying:

"A place of business is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs, and at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes."

"How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit."

 

My annual performance review says I lack “passion and intensity.” I guess management hasn’t seen me alone in the cafeteria while eating sushi.

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. Oh, damn it, he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"

 

Yesterday at work, I saw someone being horrifically inefficient and told him, “Dude that is definitely slowing you down.” He replied, “Well yea it is, but I’m in the kitchen remodeling business so I’m supposed to be counter productive.”

 

When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”

 

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once!

 

 A female friend of mine was undressing for a bath and while she was standing in the tub naked, someone knocked at the door. So she asked, "Who is it?" A man's voice answers, "A blind salesman." So she thought, what a thrill it would be by having the blind man in the room while I'm naked. So she let him in. The man walks in, looks straight at me and says, "Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie...?"

This is,

A Laugh For The Working Stiffs Out There

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

 “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
- Charles Lamb -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I am really surprised that no one has commented on my post It Is Fun To Find Money. I guess nobody has tried it and found any cash! If you didn't get anything try doing it for your friends and family.

 

It Is Fun To Find Money

Remember my post called

Fun At Parties?

Well,

I have some more party favorites you can try.

This one might even find you some money.

And we all can use as much money as we can find.

What am I talking about?

I'm talking about

"Unclaimed Property." 

The word property here means money,

not real estate.

Who is holding this money?

State Governments.

Or they have been informed by a business that they can't find you, so they are holding your money for ten years until they have to give it to the state by law. Why do businesses say they can't find you after you have been living in the same place for twenty years?

Because they can use your money until the law says they have to fork it over. Just like when banks tell you,

after you cash a check,

that you have to wait

24 To 36 Hours

before the funds are available.

Knowing quite well that the funds are available instantaneous with today's computers.

But your bank gets interest from the

Federal Reserve

if they hold onto your money for a day

or two.

Enough politics.

I recently checked

California's Unclaimed Property.

 I found over $1,500 dollars coming to me from an escrow company

and it was dated from 2004.

I haven't checked the website for over ten years which is,

in hindsight,

a mistake on my part.

Every state has a

Unclaimed Property

website.

Texas

even claims they are holding over

$3 Billion Dollars

of unclaimed property.

Here are some others.

Nevada

Wisconsin 

Virginia

and

Illinois.

Remember,

it was your money in the first place so don't let them keep it!

*****

One trick to remember.

Each state asks you to narrow your search by putting your middle name down.

Don't!

Businesses who have your money don't care about middle names

and you will get more results this way.

 

This is,

I Still Have To Wait Six Weeks Until I Get My Money

Jim Hauenstein

 

And,

 

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
- Epictetus -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I'll Be Seeing You!

 

What Is Haiku?

"What is Haiku?"

That is a very good question.

Haiku is a Very Short Form of Japanese Poetry.

from Wikipedia 

"It is typically characterized by three qualities. The essence of haiku is "cutting" (kiru). This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas and a kireji ("cutting word") between them, a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colors the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related. Traditional haiku consist of 17 on (also known as morae though often loosely translated as "syllables"), in three phrases of 5, 7, and 5 on respectively. A kigo (seasonal reference), usually drawn from a saijiki, an extensive but defined list of such words. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line while haiku in English often appear in three lines to parallel the three phrases of Japanese haiku."

I Apologies

私の謝罪

For Sunday's Absentia

日曜日の不在のため

A Writer Should Write

作家が書く必要があります。

There you have my apology for missing a day of writing on this

Blog

Sunday,

in the form of

Haiku.

It just doesn't translate very well in

English.

*****

Here is my attempt at it but it is probably too long.

 

A rose petal breaks away

Fluttering on a slight breeze

Absorbing the red hue

From the sun

So it's beauty

I can see

 

*****

 

Do you like looking up to the skies at night as much as I do,

looking into the beautiful

Milky Way,

but the weather gets in your way?

Check out,

Sky Vistas

Astrophotography by Gerald Rhemann

Quote from the photographer. "Astrophotography is the art of photographing the sky above, bringing faint objects of the cosmos to life, and showing just how beautiful our universe is. Apart from imaging the universe there is also a scientific reason why I do this."

Here are just a few of his wonderful work.

Fox Fur Nebula

Comet C/2013X1 Panstarrs

 NGC 7293 Helix Nebula Constellation Aquarius

 
Now,

aren't you happy I answered those

Questions

you didn't know you wanted to ask!

This is,

I'm Still Not Sure If I Understand How To Write 

Haiku Yet

But I Like It

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“What a strange thing! To be alive, beneath cherry blossoms.”
- Kobayashi Issa, -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!

 

Take A Test To Own A Gun

 I original wrote most of this story on 

October 5th, 2017.

It is called

I Want It To Stop!

Since the shootings in

Florida

and the recent one today in

Texas,

haven't we had enough of crazy people being able to get a gun so easily?

You need to take a test to be able to drive.

Why can't we have people take a test to be able to own a gun?

Here is a reminder of the past.

It seems we have forgotten

and we doomed ourselves by repeating it.

*****

  Here are a couple of thoughts I have on the

Las Vegas

shooting.

First,

it is true that the gunman did not have automatic weapons.

But he did modify them to act like automatic weapons.

He used a

"Bump-Fire Stoke."

Anyone one smart enough to get on the"Dark Web"

can get lessons on how to make this device for their particular riffle.

My quarrel is people who say they need assault riffles for protection,

which can easily be modified to become automatic weapons.

I have used shotguns

and a 30 odd 6 rifle for hunting.

I can assure you,

both pack enough punch to take down a bear.

And when

Bill O'Rielly

says this is the price we pay for freedom,

all I can say is,

he is a horses ass!

I am not against anyone owning guns.

I am against certain types of guns being sold.

Stop the mass killings in

America.

Lobby for better gun control.

This is,

  I Personally Know How A Gun Can Ruin A Family's Dynamics,

And I Want It To Stop!

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders. Chris Rock

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!

 

Improving The News

I found a free website that offers you the

News

from 100 different sources across the

United States.

The site includes all the standard subheadings like

Sports,

Science,

Money,

and so on.

What makes this site different then any other is,

there are no algorithms aggravating you so you stay in your

Filter Bubble

so they can fill your screen full of advertisement.

The site is called

ImproveTheNews.org.

One of the first things you will notice is what they call the

Slider.

It's where you can change the type of information you get about your

News Stories.

You can change your

Political Stance

from

Left

to

Right,

or vice versa.

You can change your

Establishment Stance,

Writing Style,

Depth,

and more.

It was created by

Dr. Max Tedmark

from

MIT.

In my opinion,

the best way to properly use this site is to play with the slider so you can see both sides to each story.

That way the next time you have a political discussion with someone

and they don't agree with you,

you will be able to debate the issues instead of calling each other

$^(#!"& idiots!

 

This is,

Always Willing To Debate

Never Try To Argue

I Would Never Call A Person A Twit Unless I Had To

Jim Hauenstein

And,

“The more wonderful the means of communication, the more trivial, tawdry, or depressing its contents seemed to be.”
- Arthur C. Clarke -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I'll Be Seeing You!

 

Lucky In Life

This is a post I put up on May 2nd, 2015 called Friends. It really has a lot more meaning to me now that I have gone through such turmoil with the passing of my wife. Back then, when I wrote this post, I wasn't using Social Media to advance my readership until a Literary Agent told me I needed to get a larger following before anyone would consider publishing one of my books. Since I have been on the different medias, I have reconnected to some of my good old friends from my young adult days. Thank you for helping me through this.

*****

I've been thinking about this 

Post

for a very long time.

In this lifetime,

if you can count one person as a true friend throughout your life,

you are a lucky human being.

I have been extremely fortunate because I have had so many,
who stood by me,
through thick
or thin.

Let me clarify something first.

Family
are not included in this category.

If you have been fortunate enough to be born in a loving family,

are taught chivalry while growing up,

married the right person,

and you bring your children up to be good human beings,

you have had a very special life already.

For most,

having one,

two,

or three out of four,

is all we can expect.

And the person who believe in the saying,

"Those who die with the most toys wins!",

is a fool.

True Happiness
is not how much money you make
or how many worldly possessions you can collect.

True Happiness
comes from being around the people you love
and the people who love you.

So,

with someone like me,

who is lucky enough to have all four of the virtues I mentioned above,

I feel very blessed indeed.

I known people for sixty years who are still good friends.

In 2012 I lost one of those friends due to his untimely death.

  One person,

who was my friend through the worst part of my
drug-addiction-alcoholic life,

I eventually pushed his friendship away.

I guess I have burned a few bridges a long the way,

as they say.

I miss my good friend
Jeff Keyes
dearly.

He was my sole supporter through some dark days after I became disable.

He was also disabled,

but never once did he ever say to me,

"Why me?"

He never complained once about what happened to him.

I love you man.

I miss the close friendship I had with
Bob Hanson.

The person who convinced me to move to
California
in the first place.

Need I say more.

I will.

If I hadn't moved to
California
I would never have had the seven wonderful children I have today.

Thanks Bob.

And I miss the special bond I once had with
Scott Strichko.

I barely have the chance to talk to him these days.

Maybe once
or twice a year if I am lucky.

He doesn't know this,

but if he hadn't shown me that if you are going to drink
and smoke pot,
letting your life fall apart is unacceptable.

I function in life,

throughout my life,

because I had to for my family.

And when smoking
and drinking got in the way,
I was strong enough to quit both so I could raise my family properly.

Scott taught me that by his actions,
  by not letting those things interfere with his life.

Thanks Buddy.

You three have been an inspiration to me
and I am a better person today for having known you all.

Thank you

Jeff, Bob, and Scott.

I haven't even mentioned my special bond I have with

Todd, Dave,

and everyone I have reconnected with.

There are too many to mention here today

and if I leave someone out,

I might hurt their feelings.

 

This is,
Thankful For Being So Lucky In Life,
James Hauenstein,

And,

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
- Elbert Hubbard -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!

 

In Your Children's Children's Future

I think some scientists have it all wrong.

I hear that,

by the year 2050,

Humans & Machines

will merge together into a new type of being.

The merging of humans and machines is happening now! 

By Arati Prabhakar For Wired.com

(Arati Prabhakar was head of DARPA at one time.)

You can read the article yourself if you want to learn a little more about the subject.

I am not going to talk against the great work done nowadays with prosthetics for people who lost a limb.

Sometimes I dream that if they only had these advance

Prostheses

for military personnel during the early 1970s my younger brother might still be alive.

I think it's wonderful what they do nowadays

and how you see so many people have independent fulfilling lives with prosthetics.

But I believe these people are missing one technology coming to the bloodstream of one of kin's real soon.

Nanobots.

Nanobots of the future will be able to fight off disease,

viruses,

and bacteria invading your body.

Most cuts,

sprains,

and broken bones will be repaired from the inside of your body by nanobots.

They will be able to repair your body at the cellular level.

Which means,

instead of people living to be 100

or 150,

theoretically people could live to be

One Thousand Years Old.

Without any accidents

or violence perpetrated against your person which might end your life unexpectedly.

You wonder how the human race will travel to other star systems.

My prediction is

Nanobot Technology.

 

This is,

Just A Personal Observation

Jim Hauenstein

And,

“But on the question of whether the robots will eventually take over, he {Rodney A. Brooks} says that this will probably not happen, for a variety of reasons. First, no one is going to accidentally build a robot that wants to rule the world.” - Michio Kaku -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Gastromancers Are A Cult

Ever since men

and women began using their vocal cords for naming people,

places,

and things,

instead of only grunting at one another,

there has been a growing religious

Cult

that exists to this very day.

The religious prophets of this

Cult

are said to be able to speak to the dead,

as well as foretell the future.

One of the earliest recorded

Prophets

to utilize a technique called,
Gastromancing,
was

Pythia.

A
Priestess
at the temple of

Apollo in Delphi.

She acted as the conduit for the

Delphic Oracle.

During this time in history they became known in

Greece

as the

Gastromancers.

One of the most successful early

Gastromancers

was

Eurykles

or

Eurycles of Athens.

 Eurykles became so popular during his lifetime,

that his followers were called,

Euryklides,

Eurycleides,

or

Engastrimanteis.

The

“Belly Prophets!"

In the middle ages the practice of

Gastromancy

was thought to be

Witchcraft,

hence the reason the

Cult

went underground to protect their  believers from persecution.

But now,

a few have chosen to rise above the

Catacombs

of the religious underworld.

  Brandishing their

Secret Cult Ways

by means of the

Entertainment World!

You might recognize their leader.

He use

Latin

 words to name his craft.

Venter,

meaning belly,

and

Loqui,

meaning to speak.

The

"Belly Prophets" 

have arisen once again

and go by the name,

"Ventriloquists!" 

And

Jeff Dunham 

is their

Spiritual Leader!

This is,

Throwing My Voice Over Here,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I am the Love Ventriloquist. And if you say I’m not, I’ll say it so it sounds like you said I am.”

- Jarod Kintz -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!