All The Dad Jokes You Can Handle

What did the first sock puppet say to the other sock puppet?

It looks like you need a hand.

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

Why don't they play cards in the jungle?

Too many Cheetahs.

What do you call the father of the Children of the Corn?

Pop-Corn.

I had a friend who's name was Mallard Duck.

Every time we went to the bar, I had to pay for my drinks.

All Mallard had to say was,

"Put it on my Bill."

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

For Drizzle.

Why did the mermaid wear seashells?

Because she grew out of her B-Shells.

What do you call an out of control photographer?

A loose Canon.

Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?

He takes things personally.

What do auditioning for an acting role  and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

 

This is,
I Don't Get It?
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts."
- Jim Butcher, -

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

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