A Laugh For The Working Stiffs Out There

It's

Friday!

And I still don't have to go to work because I'm

 

 retired.

Which leads me to an old

Chinese

saying:

"A place of business is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs, and at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes."

"How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit."

 

My annual performance review says I lack “passion and intensity.” I guess management hasn’t seen me alone in the cafeteria while eating sushi.

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. Oh, damn it, he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"

 

Yesterday at work, I saw someone being horrifically inefficient and told him, “Dude that is definitely slowing you down.” He replied, “Well yea it is, but I’m in the kitchen remodeling business so I’m supposed to be counter productive.”

 

When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”

 

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once!

 

 A female friend of mine was undressing for a bath and while she was standing in the tub naked, someone knocked at the door. So she asked, "Who is it?" A man's voice answers, "A blind salesman." So she thought, what a thrill it would be by having the blind man in the room while I'm naked. So she let him in. The man walks in, looks straight at me and says, "Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie...?"

This is,

A Laugh For The Working Stiffs Out There

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

 “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
- Charles Lamb -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I am really surprised that no one has commented on my post It Is Fun To Find Money. I guess nobody has tried it and found any cash! If you didn't get anything try doing it for your friends and family.