The 5 Best Posts Of November, 2016

Another month of writing

Posts

for your enjoyment has gone by.

I hope you have enjoyed some of

My Stories,

My Observations,

and

My Self Proclaimed Wisdom

during the past month.

I might not be the smartest person in the

World,

but if you live long enough

and are paying attention,

anyone can accumulate a little bit of

Wisdom.

So,

I pass it off,

here on my

Blog.

Because keeping it to myself would be selfish.

Now,

after my

Narcissistic

look at myself,

I want to thank everyone who reads this

Blog,

and let you know about

The 5 Best Posts Of The Month Of November, 2016.

Chosen by you,

the reader,

who keep coming back

and reading these

Posts

over & over again.

The 5th Best Post of November is;

21st Century Way Of Talking To The Dead 

One of my original stories where the main character talks about being the next well know serial killer. But his rampage is cut short after his first victim, his girlfriend, contacts him through his computer and shows up as a ghost only he can see.

The 4th Best Post of November is;

I Will Be Dumbing Down Right After I Finish Writing This 

Saturdays I usually write about, and add links, to some of the Scientific Stories I have been reading lately on the internet. This time I started the Post out by saying how we should learn something before we sit on the couch all day watching Sports. I also go on to say that I will be doing the same thing, watching Sports all day, dumbing down.

The 3rd Best Post of November is;

It is actually a combination of two Posts. Lately I have been rewriting the Novelette, "Why Should I Die." With Chapter 1 and Chapter 3 coming in as tied for the 3rd Best Post of the Month. (Chapter 2 just missed out, barely.)

The 2nd Best Post of November is;

Believing Knowledge Is Power 

Another Saturday Post where I talk about some of the exciting Science going on in the World, or Outer-Space.

The Number 1 Best Post of November, 2016 is;

I Really Like The Part Where I Say 

The story of where my Son asks me to write a speech for him, how he rejected the speech, but did inspire him to write one of his own. I also Posted the speech to see if anyone would Comment on it to tell me if it was good or bad!

There you have it.

The Five Best Posts of November

chosen by the readers.

Thank you so much.

This is,

I Need To Mention That My Short Story

A-L-I-V

Is Running Away With Viewership Each Month For The Past Three Months

But I Cannot Keep Putting It Down As The Best Post Each Month

It Wouldn't Be Fair To All The Other Stories I Write

But Thank You Again For Reading It

I Am So Proud Of It

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Books themselves need no defense. Their spokesmen come and go, their readers live and die, they remain constant.”
- Lawrence Clark Powell -

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

Like what you are reading,

or do not like what you see.

Set up my Blog as your Homepage,

or sign up as a Follower,

or leave a Comment,

and I will answer you in a Post.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Pokemon Goes Into Conspiracy Overdrive

Oh no?

What have I done?

I am now,

just being enlighten to the fact that

Pokemon Go

is a

Government Plot!

Wait,

it's an agent of

Capitalism

to get us into

Retail Stores

and buy stuff!

I can't figure out which

Conspiracy

to believe in.

I was the one who wrote two

Posts

on the subject of

Pokemon Go

and how I thought it to be a great app!

The first

Post

was

Pokemon At The Duck Pond.

That is where I talked about how I began noticing the phenom of

Pokemon.

The second was called

Admiring An App.

Where I said how I appreciated the fact that playing the game made people all over the

World

go outside and walk around.

Exercising!

Oh,

that evil app!

But now,

whether it's the

FBI secretly using Snapchat filters 

to map all our faces

or

Apple's alleged planned obsolescence scheme,

people love a good tech-related conspiracy.

So,

naturally,

the phenomenal success of

Pokémon Go

has birthed some truly exceptional theories about its darker agenda.

If the tin foil-hatted internet sleuths are to be believed,

the massively popular

Pikachu-Packed

augmented reality game is nothing more than a convenient distraction deployed by the

CIA

and

Michelle Obama

in order to keep the sheep calm while they collect all our private data.

Or something like that.

Here is what some people are saying.

Pokemon GO is just a distraction to keep you from chasing freedom. Stay Wokémon, fam.

— Afrodite (@LilMissLadyLike) July 11, 2016

Remember the pokemon go endgame: getting you to walk into a jamba juice (from a convo I had with Niantic in 2014) pic.twitter.com/KZ9YIun2JW

— Emanuel Trashberg (@emanuelmaiberg) July 11, 2016

Thinking about creating a phone network and selling a "Poke Plan" with 20gb Plans cause Pokemon GO MELTS DATA

— OpTic Pamaj (@Pamaj) July 14, 2016

I know,

these are old comments,

but like I said,

I am just now finding out how corrupt the makers of this retched game really are!

Or,

it is exactly what all

Apps

hidden agendas are,

to get you to buy into their product

or other products that the company has developed.

Wow,

I would never have guessed that one!

Capitalism

at its obviousness!

This is,

Thank The Lord Angry Birds 2 Is A Capitalistic App And Not A Government Conspiracy Too!

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“It's a very small object to be capable of doing so many wonderful things, don't you think?"

"It does much more that that," Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.

His eyes widened. "What wonder is this?"
"It's called Angry Birds.”
- Derek Landy -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?
Set up my Blog as your Homepage,

or sign up as a Follower,

or leave a Comment,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

If you want to read more about

Pokemon Go Conspiracies,

just use any search engine

and you will find hundreds of dedicated websites on the subject.

Or,

you can go to

thrillist.com

and save yourself some time.

Go Pokemon Go!

I know, I am giving advice when it wasn't asked for.

In the past,

because

Advice Is Happily Received When Asked For

instead of given as a

Lecture,

I try to put down my

Fatherly Guidance

in this

Blog.

I am hoping my kids read some of the exhortations I tell in some of my

Posts,

and that they will adhere to some of that wisdom.

Disclaimer;

I am not the smartest man in the

World

and I am not claiming to be.

But I have found ways in

Life

to

Be Important 

when I have a job

or I am looking for a job.

It would be prudent to read my
Post;

Be Important

for some of my earlier advice on the subject.

I was going to write down the

5 Words You Should Never Use to Describe Yourself in an Interview.

By Lily Zhang on themuse.com

but I feel this website does it best.

"Hiring managers all have their favorite interview questions, but they’re typically some variation of the common ones. For example, you might get, How would your colleagues describe you? or Use three words to describe yourself. Either way, your overall approach would likely be the same. The thing you need to be mindful of, then, is what words you actually use. Or, to put it in another way, there are words that you should never, ever use."

Check it out,

they have a lot of good advice.

I was wondering when someone was going to ask this question.

Since you am no longer part of the work force, where do you go to learn about any new terminology or keep up with advances in computers?

One of my favorite websites to keep up with today's technology is

webopedia.com.

They have

"Term of the Day,"

a weekly newsletter,

study guides,

definition of terms,

and a host of other advice to keep the techie in your life informed.

And by the way,

I am in no way associated with this website so I am not obligated to promote them.

It is for geeks who love this kind of stuff!

This is,

Saying The First Step In Getting A Job Is In Believing In Yourself,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“What someone may lack in talent can be more than made up for in self-motivation, self-direction, and follow-through.”
- Miles Anthony Smith -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Set up my Blog as your Homepage,

or sign up as a Follower,

or leave a Comment,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

I know,

I am giving advice when it wasn't asked for.

But I can't help myself,

I am a Father!

21st Century Way of Talking to the Dead

  It really wasn't my fault. 

So why, after all this time, am I still grieving?

Well, maybe not actually grieving per se. I'm just feeling guilty.

Over the death of my ex-girlfriend, Celeste.

It's that constant nagging thought, occupying the back of my mind. Its like it's eating away at my brain.

I think I'm becoming paranoid?

And I don't like it.

I did tell her that I loved her.

But I'm above all those petty feelings the average schmuck feels.

So why am I hurting inside? She died. That's it.

You see, even though I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault, it still sits there, annoyingly. At the back of my mind. Like a wood boring worm creating a hole in the trunk of my brain.

I keep trying to convince my subconscious that it was inevitable. It was the only way our relationship could have ended.

So I'm asking you.

How can someone like me, a prodigy child preordained for greatness, ask for forgiveness from a girl I supposedly loved after she is dead?

Or, to put it simply, how can I find a way to ask Celeste to forgive me after I killed her?

Like I said before, it wasn't really my fault. Stupid girl. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I'm going to be the most prolific Serial Killer of all time and she was easy prey.

Someone has to be the first one.

I was practicing on her.

I just didn't imagine I would be feeling this guilty and for as long as I have been.

It probably has to do with it being my first. The remorse must be from the fact that she was my girlfriend and my first victim.

Yes, that has to be it.

I did know Celeste for a long time. We bonded at an early age, being neighbors and all. And I could always reveal to her any of my, let us say, peculiar train of thoughts on life and death itself.

Still, I shouldn’t be feeling guilty about what happened. It was ordain to happen.

She's gone and that's it.

Yet, I find myself looking over my shoulder all the time. Thinking that someone is following me. Or, is going to figure out what I've done by just looking at me.

Connecting those dots as they say, by the facial expressions I portray.

I?

I shouldn't be evolving into a freaking schizoid over this.

I've already gotten away with it!

Ha! That's right, I have.

On to something new.

Over the years, I'm sure you have either read all the Murder Mysteries you can stomach or watched a thousand or so of those Police Dramas on TV. Don't they just bore you to death?

These plots are always so basic.

I guess it satisfies the entertainment value for the average Joe. Yet some of them do mirror real life scenarios.

What I'm saying is, they show these bungling culprits stumble along the way until an obvious mistake is made and they end up in jail.

Some fool will go along and commit a crime thinking that he or she has out smarted the Police.

And for a while, maybe they have.

Then these imbeciles, believing they have gotten away with murder, start making obvious mistakes.

They lavishly start spending their inheritance before they even get it. Or try to collect on an insurance policy taken out on the victim just weeks before their death.

Oh, and my favorite, getting remarried before the dead spouse is laid to rest.

Of course they are eventually apprehended and imprisoned for the rest of their miserable lives. The only thing they could have hoped for, is the death penalty. Instead of weltering away in a penal institution.

These dolts are spoiling the reputations of all professional, who take their craft seriously.

Now and again, you might hear about an inept criminal getting away with murder, because the Police are as inept as he and have no clue who the perpetrator is.

But those cases are rarely publicized. You have to dig down deep to find the real stories.

The incompetent Police Department doesn't want Society to know what a false sense of hope they offer to their measly lives.

There are no Robin Hoods or Bonnie and Clydes, who steal from the rich and give to the poor. Fighting against the “Man.”

Its just plain old killers doing what comes naturally.

Killing!

Even with these trumped up statistics, about the rise in the conviction rate, that the lying Politicians love to show their constituents, Man is still killing Man.

And he will keep killing as long as there are people like me.

I was surprised to see how smoothly my first time was. As I had little time to plan for every detail that came up.

Still, in the end, I was cleared of all suspicion because of the stupidity of the local Police.

I even had someone in my corner.

The local trashy Newspaper vilified the Cops for investigating in the wrong direction. Away from, “The real Murderer or Murderers.”

That was their headline in the evening paper after a month long investigation went nowhere.

I'm not going to bore you now with the details of how I did it. That's not why I'm telling you my story.

Why I'm dying now.

Like I said, the worrying and the guilt were infesting my mind and damaging it.

Remorse kept popping up at the strangest times during the day. Always haunting me.

I'll be going along, with my normal afternoon, then something would trigger a memory of Celeste.

I'll start seeing her everywhere I go. Watching me from afar.

Eventually I'll look away for a moment or two, and when I look back, she'll be gone.

And I can relax again.

I had to find a way to get closure. Get over my guilt. Get over my first kill.

I needed to stop thinking about my deceased ex-girlfriend and start planning for my next ex-girlfriend.

I've been planning and dreaming of becoming the most notorious serial killer far too long to fall apart now.

Something had to be done.

It had been a little over six months since the burial. I figured by now I would be scouting out my next opportunity.

Like, where are the best locations for an abduction without raising any suspicions? How can I lure my prey away from her comfort zone and have her follow me on her own?

And where was I going to depose of the new body? Fun stuff like that.

Yet, all I could think about was Celeste. And the look on her face.

I still see her wide eyes facing me. Looking at me, everywhere I go.

  Maybe I should have started out with a stranger? But there are just too many variables to account for in that situation. I had to start out with someone familiar.

  That's when it hits me.

I was sending out quick notes from my computer, to family and friends, on how much I miss Celeste when I came across her e-mail address in my Contacts section.

I thought, what the Hell.

So I wrote a note to her, saying how sorry I was, and I sent it.

Low and behold, her e-mail was still opened.

No one had closed her account.

I didn't get that non-deliverable message from “Daemon!”

If you have sent as many e-mails as I have, you've seen the “Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently,” sent from the mailer daemon@whateverserver.com.

Why, I ask you, do they use the name of a deity, or demigod, to inform you that you have failed miserably, by not using the proper e-mail address is beyond me.

Is it supposed to scare you somehow? Or if you “fail permanently” too many times, does a demon come out of your computer and rip your face off?

  Well, after that first initial e-mail which I sent to Celeste, it became easier to whip up a little note to her each time I started feeling guilty. Thinking no one was going to read them anyways.

Besides, it was always easy to talk to Celeste when she was alive.

I could tell her anything and she never blinked an eye.

After a month of pouring out my soul to Celeste in these e-mails, things started moving along for me. I started feeling confident again. I had finally stopped worrying.

I was feeling so good about myself again, I started planning my next job.

I thought now would be the perfect time to go ahead with kill number two.

 

Looking back, the only thing I wish I hadn't done, my only regret, was asking Celeste through those e-mails, to forgive me. Then, of all this, would never have happened.

I realize now, I am no better than the morons I was complaining about earlier. I made a foolish mistake and it came back to bite me in the ass.

  I told her that I was ready to start anew. I was ready to go out in this gorgeous blue world of ours and take another person's soul away from them.

That's when I get the surprise of my life. Celeste answered me back!

The reply e-mail I got from her said;

Dear Mathew, If you go after another girl, I will come back and rip your heart out your chest! You know how jealous I can be.

Love Celeste.

  What a fool I've been. So stupid. I'm no better than your average schmuck!

I wanted closure so bad that I never imagined someone would think to read Celeste's e-mail messages after she was gone.

  Now I have to find out which one of her friends or family member is reading those e-mails.

Why haven't they called the Police? And are they going to blackmail me with the information they now have?

When I get my hands on them, they'll see the real me.

  I had to keep whomever it was, talking.

Maybe they'll slip up and expose themselves!

So I sent another email to Celeste.

Hi Celeste, It was quite a surprise to hear from you today. Let me tell you. Did you really have to threaten to come back from the dead and rip my heart out?

Love Mathew

Her reply.

Hello Mathew, I was your girlfriend and you killed me. Do you know how that can damage a relationship? I love you and I still love you. But I know your mind will never let your heart feel for me as mine feels for you. So all I want is your heart now. That’s all.

Love Celeste

This person is sick, I thought. So I sent another one.

Dear Celeste, Come on? You know I loved you. It was something I had to do. How long have you've known me? We were kids together growing up on the same street. We killed every insect, rodent, bird, cat and dog we could find together. Couldn't you tell what I had inside of me?

Mathew

She replied back, saying.

Dear Mathew, Love is blind. If anything, I thought we would continue doing those things together.

I Love You.

Celeste

P.S. Give me your heart.

My turn.

Celeste, You mean you would have killed with me?

Mathew

I waited, then.

Dearest Mathew, I could never have killed anyone but you! We should have died together. How romantic that would have been. Like Romeo and Juliet!

Love Celeste

P.S. Please give me your heart.

Reply.

Celeste, I have to think about what has been said between us tonight. I'll talk to you again via e-mail tomorrow, OK?

Good night.

Mathew

I was shocked by the instant reply. Like she was typing it while I was typing mine.

Mathew, give me your heart.

Love Celeste

  I had a lot to think about. This person was trying to play with my mind. I had to find out who it was and put a stop to it now.

Nobody messes with me or my head!

  So I waited until the late afternoon of the next day and sent this note.

Celeste, Why don't you come over to see me. We can have a drink together. I stole some beer from my Dad's liquor cabinet yesterday.

Love Matt

Again, she replied instantly.

Dear, Dearest Matthew, I have been scratching at the cover of my casket since that very day you sent your first e-mail. I finally broke a small hole in it last night where the dirt can fall threw. I hope you won't mind when I finally get out of here that my dress will be dirty, my finger nails won't be trimmed, my hair is a rats nest, and the worms won't stop going in and out of my body. But yes Dear. I can't wait to see you too, so I can have your heart!

Love always,

Celeste

Someone thinks this stuff is funny?

I sent a brief email.

Celeste, your digging yourself out of your grave?

Matt

An immediate reply.

Oh yes my Dear. Ever since you told me that you were sorry for killing me. I knew then that your heart was mine forever.

Love Celeste

I was mad. I lost my composure and sent.

Who the Hell is this? You think this is funny you bitch! Why don't you come over here so I can slit your throat like I did to Celeste!

Immediate return message.

Dearest Mathew, Don't use such awful language. I'm digging as fast as I can. I think I'll be able to crawl out of here by tonight. I'm hoping anyways. Then my love one, you can give me your heart, for all eternity.

I Love You.

See you soon.

Celeste

I angerly punched down the send symbol on my email account.

This is no longer funny. Who really is this? Or tell me something only I and Celeste would know so I know its her!

Her message came back before I had a chance to lift my finger off my mouse.

Dear Mathew, Remember how you used to like to call me your “Celestial Body” while we were making love? I must admit, I lost a lot of weight lately. I'm what you call, just dried up skin and bones. I hope that won't prevent you from giving me your love and your heart.

Love Celeste

Screw you Celeste!

Matt

I waited, but there was no reply.

I must admit, I was scared.

How can someone else know what my playful name was for Celeste? We promised to keep it our little secret.

It really can't be her, can it? There has to be an explanation for all of this.

  Wait a minute. What the hell is wrong with me. She had to tell her best friend from High School. You know how girls love to talk to each other. Explain their freakin' emotions to each other.

It has to be that Janeen Cary sending me these messages. I knew she always wanted me.

But why hasn't she gone to the Police.

She wants to hook up with me. That's it.

I can't wait to kill her!

I have to calm down. Not let her confuse me.

I need to think straight so I can make sure its Janeen writing these messages. Once I confirm that, I'll ask her to come over tonight. And she will. I know she will.

I need to put an end to this, once and for all.

  So I send my invitation.

I know who you really are. Your Janeen. Why play around like this girl. Come on over. That's why I got rid of Celeste. So you and I can get together. Why don't you come over now and we'll celebrate.

Matt

Immediate reply.

Mathew, You know how jealous I can get. I knew you had eyes for Janeen. But I won't let your heart get away from me this time. I love you. Your heart is mine!

Celeste

My reply.

Come on Janeen. Stop playing around. Just come on over and lets have some fun!

Matt

Immediately.

You cheating, lying, conniving dirt bag! I will see you now and I will have your heart. Its mine!

Celeste

So I'll talk to you soon girlfriend. You don't have to play around any longer. Its all good.

Matt

I will have your heart Mathew! I will!

Celeste

  Man, with Janeen trying to scare me like that, I forgot some of the basic searches Police use to locate computer criminals. Thank you Daemon that Janeen is using a web base e-mail server so its easy to find her IP address. Now that I have it, I type the number into the search engine on the web site www.lookupipaddresses.com. And poof! I have the latitude, 34° 31′ 48.00″ N, I have the longitude, 118° 6′ 12.60″ W, and when I type those into www.findanylocation.com, it gives me?

  What the Hell. Something's wrong. I did it again. And again.

This has got to be some kind of trick!

  Oh, that Janeen is good. Somehow she has rerouted her e-mails so the source code shows its coming from my computer. From my house!

I can't wait to kill her.

  I better send her another invitation to make sure she is coming over.

Hey Girl, its about time. I thought we were going to hook up? Where are you?

Matt

Immediate return reply.

Mathew, I'm outside your door.

Love Celeste

  Before I can reply, I hear her knocking at my door.

  I've got her I thought.

  I pulled out the same butcher's knife I used on Celeste, walk over to the door, raise the knife high into the air, and swung the door open as fast as I could.

  An ear piercing scream could be heard for miles. That's what brought you here.

The only problem is, the scream, it came from my mouth, not hers!

  Celeste was standing before me. Looking, just like she said she would look. Rats jumping down from inside her hair, dirty wrinkled dress, worms squirming out of an eye socket going into a cavity where her nose once was, and every conceivable type of maggot chewing away at her decaying flesh.

  “Hi Mathew,” said the rotting corpse of Celeste. “Daemon said I have to be home before morning. Can I have your heart now?”

  That's the last thing I remember before collapsing to the ground.

The searing pain in my chest is overbearing.

Can't you help me?

An ambulance medic says, “I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do for you. You've had a massive heart attack. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Without a new heart.”

His voice trails off.

I close my eyes and all I can see is Celeste, putting her hands into my chest, trying to rip my heart out!

Why doesn't he stop her?

This is,

Enjoying Another Ghost Story,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.”

- Julie de Lespinasse -

That is a story I wrote and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower

or leave a Comment.

I would love to hear from you.

 

Thanks For Reading

 

Be Kind To Everyone

 

I'll Be Seeing You

 

Dreaming of Aliens

It is getting colder outside these days

and when I forgot to put the heat on,

I wake up with a bit of a cold.

So,

I am sure all of you,

whomever you might be,

all do the same thing when you are not feeling good.

You sleep a lot,

On & Off,

all day long.

When I sleep,

I dream,

and from talking to other people,

I am in the minority of folks who remember their dreams.

What set off my dreams today,

was an article I read this morning.

Strange Star has E.T. Seekers looking closely for Signs of Life.
by David Perlmann for SFGate Newspaper.com
"Berkeley astronomers on a new hunt for E.T. are aiming one of the world’s most powerful radio telescopes at the most bizarre star ever detected. They have tuned the big telescope at the Green Bank Observatory in West Virginia to listen for signals from an object in space called Tabby’s Star, whose implausible behavior is puzzling astronomers all over the world. That star might conceivably be a sign that some civilization far more advanced than our own is, or has been, building some kind of giant structure far off in the Milky Way, they say. The Berkeley team has also mobilized a second huge telescope in Australia to search for E.T. signals from another unique star — the closest of all the stars to Earth, just a few trillion miles away. The new push to enlist two of the world’s biggest radio telescopes in the quest for signs of alien life is centered at UC Berkeley in a $100 million effort called Breakthrough Listen, financed by Yuri Milner, the Russian-born physicist and tech billionaire in Silicon Valley."

 It would be wonderful if we found evidence of

Extra-Terrestrial

life in our lifetime!

Please forgive me,

I'm just not up for writing today

and will try to have something interesting for tomorrow.

Good news is,

it is raining in

Southern California

and we can use it too!

This is,

Dreaming of Aliens,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.”
- Ellen DeGeneres -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

cough cough

Like what you are reading?

Set up my Blog as your Homepage,

or sign up as a Follower,

or leave a Comment,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Here are some of the Aliens I believe in.