Pokemon Goes Into Conspiracy Overdrive

Oh no?

What have I done?

I am now,

just being enlighten to the fact that

Pokemon Go

is a

Government Plot!

Wait,

it's an agent of

Capitalism

to get us into

Retail Stores

and buy stuff!

I can't figure out which

Conspiracy

to believe in.

I was the one who wrote two

Posts

on the subject of

Pokemon Go

and how I thought it to be a great app!

The first

Post

was

Pokemon At The Duck Pond.

That is where I talked about how I began noticing the phenom of

Pokemon.

The second was called

Admiring An App.

Where I said how I appreciated the fact that playing the game made people all over the

World

go outside and walk around.

Exercising!

Oh,

that evil app!

But now,

whether it's the

FBI secretly using Snapchat filters 

to map all our faces

or

Apple's alleged planned obsolescence scheme,

people love a good tech-related conspiracy.

So,

naturally,

the phenomenal success of

Pokémon Go

has birthed some truly exceptional theories about its darker agenda.

If the tin foil-hatted internet sleuths are to be believed,

the massively popular

Pikachu-Packed

augmented reality game is nothing more than a convenient distraction deployed by the

CIA

and

Michelle Obama

in order to keep the sheep calm while they collect all our private data.

Or something like that.

Here is what some people are saying.

Pokemon GO is just a distraction to keep you from chasing freedom. Stay Wokémon, fam.

— Afrodite (@LilMissLadyLike) July 11, 2016

Remember the pokemon go endgame: getting you to walk into a jamba juice (from a convo I had with Niantic in 2014) pic.twitter.com/KZ9YIun2JW

— Emanuel Trashberg (@emanuelmaiberg) July 11, 2016

Thinking about creating a phone network and selling a "Poke Plan" with 20gb Plans cause Pokemon GO MELTS DATA

— OpTic Pamaj (@Pamaj) July 14, 2016

I know,

these are old comments,

but like I said,

I am just now finding out how corrupt the makers of this retched game really are!

Or,

it is exactly what all

Apps

hidden agendas are,

to get you to buy into their product

or other products that the company has developed.

Wow,

I would never have guessed that one!

Capitalism

at its obviousness!

This is,

Thank The Lord Angry Birds 2 Is A Capitalistic App And Not A Government Conspiracy Too!

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“It's a very small object to be capable of doing so many wonderful things, don't you think?"

"It does much more that that," Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.

His eyes widened. "What wonder is this?"
"It's called Angry Birds.”
- Derek Landy -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.

If you want to read more about

Pokemon Go Conspiracies,

just use any search engine

and you will find hundreds of dedicated websites on the subject.

Or,

you can go to

thrillist.com

and save yourself some time.

Go Pokemon Go!