All The Funny Jokes Are His

I was at my Doctor's office the other day

and she told me I had better get into shape.

"Doc," I said."I am in shape. Round is a shape!"

Did you know that cannibals will not eat clowns?

Yeah, they say they taste funny.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

In America anyone can become President.

That's the problem.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns,

do the rest drown too?

What I want to know is,

whose cruel idea was it to have the letter
"S"
in the word

"Lisp?"

Never, ever, raise your hands to your kids!

It leaves your groin unprotected.

If I eat

Pasta and Antipasti

will I still be hungry?

When I was growing up,

I was always told that I would be somebody.

I just wish that they had been more specific on what that would be.

The main reason

Santa Claus

is so jolly all the time,

is because he knows where all the bad girls are!

This is,

Thanking The Late,

Great,

George Carlin

For All The Funny Jokes Today,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”
- George Carlin -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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