Hoping You Have A Great Weekend

On Fridays,

I like to start the weekend off with a bunch of jokes.

In this way,

after a boring week of work

or school,

I am hoping that it helps you forget all about those tedious necessary duties,

we all have to go through in life.

Instead of rambling off a bunch of jokes today,

since I am a story teller,

I would like to tell you a funny true story.

When my third youngest daughter was about sixteen years old she asked me to take her to Ross Department Store because she needed a new bra. When we arrived, my daughter walked up to a sales clerk, and being a little embarrassed, quietly asked where the teenage bras were kept. The clerk, seeing that I was standing nearby, asked my daughter, because she thought that she was embarrassed with me standing there,

"Is this the first time you are with your Grandfather buying a bra?"

This floored my daughter.

Literally.

She was on the floor of the department store laughing her heart out.

What do you think?

I think I look young for my age.

 

What a handsome individual.

Don't you think?

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
"A mechanic."

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foil again!”

I’m trying to get into classical music,

but I can’t find any original recordings.

All the music is performed by cover bands.

My wife noticed me standing on the bathroom scale,
sucking in my stomach.
“Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon?

It’s not like its the end of the world!

This is,

Me Hoping You Have A Great Weekend,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Be careful about reading health books. Some day you'll die of a misprint.”

- Markus Herz -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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