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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Friday, February 24, 2017

Hoping You Have A Great Weekend

On Fridays,
I like to start the weekend off with a bunch of jokes.
In this way,
after a boring week of work
or school,
I am hoping that it helps you forget all about those tedious necessary duties,
we all have to go through in life.
Instead of rambling off a bunch of jokes today,
since I am a story teller,
I would like to tell you a funny true story.

When my third youngest daughter was about sixteen years old she asked me to take her to Ross Department Store because she needed a new bra. When we arrived, my daughter walked up to a sales clerk, and being a little embarrassed, quietly asked where the teenage bras were kept. The clerk, seeing that I was standing nearby, asked my daughter, because she thought that she was embarrassed with me standing there,
"Is this the first time you are with your Grandfather buying a bra?"
This floored my daughter.
Literally.
She was on the floor of the department store laughing her heart out.
What do you think?
I think I look young for my age.
 
What a handsome individual.
Don't you think?

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
"A mechanic."

 What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foil again!”

I’m trying to get into classical music,
but I can’t find any original recordings.
All the music is performed by cover bands.

My wife noticed me standing on the bathroom scale,
sucking in my stomach.
“Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” I said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon?
It’s not like its the end of the world!
This is,
Me Hoping You Have A Great Weekend,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Be careful about reading health books. Some day you'll die of a misprint.”

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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