Have A Laugh On Me

My Bother and Sister were talking about what they felt their Grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years' time. My Brother went first and said, "I would like my Grandchildren to say, he was great fun to be with." My Sister then said, "Fifty years from now, I want mine to say that I was a loving Grandmother." Turning to me, they asked, "So what do you want your Grandchildren say about you in fifty years?" I thought about it and said, "I want them to say, he looks really good for his age!"

Last week, Putin received a coded message, reportedly from Ukrainian Parliament. It read: 370HSSV-0773H  Putin was stumped and asked his Prime Minister what the message could mean. The Minister was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top Russian Code Breakers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Unable to crack the code, the Code Breakers sent it to the Secret Police.  The Director of the Secret Police suggested Putin should turn the message upside down!

(It is just a joke, to my Soviet readers.)

Teacher: "Today, we're going to talk about the Basic Tenses which can be found in most languages. Now, if I say, "I am beautiful", which tense is it? "
Student: Obviously, it is the past tense.

My teenage daughter came home from school today in a real rage. She angrily said to me, "You lied to me. We've just had sex education in school today, Dad. You told me if I have sex before my eighteenth birthday, my boyfriend would die!" I put down my phone, look at her, and said smiling, "Oh, he will sweetheart, he will!"

One night a man walks into a bar looking really sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink. He says, "Oh, just a beer." The bartender then asks, "What's wrong? Why are you so down today?" The man says, "My wife and I had a big fight. She says she won't talk to me for a month." The bartender says laughingly, "So what's wrong with that?" The man says "The month ends tonight!"

 

This is,
Feeling Better With Humor,
Jim Hauenstein,

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”
- Oscar Wilde -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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