In That Better Place!

I have been called cold,

heartless,

insensitive,

and unsympathetic.

I know,

you are asking yourself,

"How can this possibly be?"

You,

of all people Jim,

are the most helpful,

loyal,

and

trustworthy.

(I sound like someone's pet dog.)

  You are the most giving human being on the face of the
Earth!

Putting away my inflated ego for a minute,

I've been told this,

because how I act,

when I'm at a Funeral.

When I was in my twenties,

my younger brother died.

It was the first time that I really saw death,

as a finality.

Sure,

I had Aunts,

Uncles,

and Grandparents die while I was growing up,

but as a kid,

my Parents kind of sheltered me from the true pain of it all.

I was so distraught at the time of his death,

that I almost did something foolish.

And that's for Me and My Maker to know,

and for you to guess what it was.

Before my Mother passed away,

I was a selfish person.

I didn't want her to die.

Growing up,

she always told everyone in the family,

"I never want to be kept alive,

if you have to keep me alive,

on a machine."

When it came time,

I was out voted,

everyone in the family wanted to fulfill our Mother's wishes,

while I voted to keep her alive on a machine.

Was I thinking about her well being,

or what I wanted?

I went to a Wake yesterday,

and if you watch closely,

everyone grieves in their own way.

My philosophy derives from the wonderful conversations I had with a unique individual.

He was my friend.

He was also disabled,
but never complained about it.

That was my friend Jeff who also passed away a couple years back.

We would talk for hours each day.

Everything from Physics,

Time Travel,

Aliens,

to how we both agreed that our true essence is pure energy.

We discussed how Albert Einstein said energy cannot be destroyed,

but keeps on going. 

When I was growing up,

I said my Parents sheltered me from the true pain of it all.

It wasn't that I was sheltered from the Funerals,

it's because of our family tradition that I think most families have.

Afterwards,

everyone gets together to drink a few beers in the deceases honor,

eat good food,

and tell stories about how this person influenced their lives.

Being young,

I chose to only remember the gatherings afterwards,

not the Funerals.

And I choose to do the same thing today.

If you truly believe,

that when a person dies he goes to a better place,

like I do,

we are not grieving because their Soul is on a new journey,

we are grieving because we were left behind

and we will not see that Soul again until we follow that journey ourselves.

I choose to cry,

to myself.

I choose to celebrate the time I had with that person.

And I choose to look forward to when we will all be together again,

"In That Better Place!"

This is Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"To all the people I have met in my life who have passed away.

I thank you for the time you shared with me!"

- Jim Hauenstein -

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.