Laughing All The Way

Did you know,

while a son is growing up,

it takes a Mother years and years,

of careful manipulation to educate and raise her boy properly for this world.

But,

it will only take a girlfriend 30 seconds to make him stupid.

God,

created the Heaven and the Earth.

Everything else is made in

China!

What is an Astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?

The Space Bar!

 Women are like a new Computer Virus.

They ENTER your life.

SEARCH through your pockets.

SHIFT your balance.

CONTROL your life.

And when you become an old version,

DELETE you from the system.

I have been told,

that if I keep drinking beer the way I do,

I will become FAT!

Beer doesn't make you Fat!

It makes you LEAN.

Up against tables, chairs, walls, and ugly people!

Two Irish Men were walking past a bar.

I know,

I can't believe it myself!

When you want to wake up

Lady Gaga

what do you do?

Poker Face.

I asked my wife the other day,

"What is your favorite book in the World?"

She said,

"Your checkbook."

What is green, rectangle, and has a head on it that drives Women wild?

A Fifty Dollar Bill!

How do you know a Woman is about to say something intelligent?

When she begins with,

"A man once told me."

I have been called a Grouch by some people.

Its not that I am Anti-Social.

I'm just not user friendly!

This is,

Me,

Laughing All The Way To The Bank,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Live your Eyeliner, Breathe your Lipstick, and Kill for Each Other.”
- Lady Gaga -

That is my story and I am sticking with it!

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Thanks for reading.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor Who?