I Have Been Handsome All My Life

A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck.

The bartender points at him and says,

"I'm gonna let you in this time, but don't you start anything!"

A really drunk guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of Lesbians having a birthday party for one of the girls.

The drunk, thinking he is being funny asks,

"Can someone here give me a bl*w-job?" 

One of the ladies walks up to him and says,

"Sure. Blow up these balloons."

Why don't blond men make ice cubes?
Because they don't know the recipe.

What happened to all the blondes at the football stadium?
They drowned in the wave.

 When I die,

I wanna go like my grandpa did.

Peacefully sleeping.

Unlike the passengers in his car.

Do you know when a person is a perfect human being?

It's when he is writing his resume!

 When three people are having sex,

they call it a threesome.

When two people are having sex,

they call it a twosome.

What do they call it when one person is having sex?

Handsome!

This is,

I Do Not Know What They Are Joking About

I Have Been Handsome All My Life

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're OK, then it's you.”
- Rita Mae Brown -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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