About Me

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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Saturday, December 31, 2016

The 5 Best Posts Of December, 2016

We are at the end of the
Month
of
December
and the end of the
Year,
2016.
So with the
Champagne
already uncorked,
Creamy Herring
stinking up the kitchen,
and the verses of
Auld Lang Syne
running through your head,
here comes the
5 Best Posts Of December, 2016!
I really do appreciate everyone who reads my
Blog
and I hope you continue doing so.
Leave a
Comment
sometime.
Let me know how I am doing,
good or bad.

Without further ado,
here are the most read
Posts
of
December!

The 5th Best Post of the Month of December is;
Trying To Put A Little Humor In Your Day
On Fridays, I usually like to start the weekend off with a humorous Post. The theme on Friday December 9th was Blond Jokes. It all started when I was talking to a friend of mine and he brought up the fact that all the Blond Jokes he has ever heard are about women. So for my final statement I wrote; You Never See Male Dumb Blond Jokes. Thank Goodness Too! I Am A Natural Blond Before I Grew Taller Then My Hairline!

The 4th Best Post of the Month is;
My Sister And All Special Education Teachers Are Cool 
On one of my daily walks with my second oldest daughter, I talked about my proudest moment as a musician. It wasn't playing in front of crowds or the old cliché, Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll. It was the fact that my sister is an Special Education Teacher and she used a tape of my original music to get of her rowdiest students to see her in a whole new light.

The 3rd Best Post of the Month is;
I Must Have Been A Teacher In A Previous Life
On Mondays, I like to set aside the day for, "Questions you didn't know you wanted to ask!" It gives me the leeway to choose a couple of subjects, not related to one another, and write about them. I must have chosen a couple of good subjects that day, one on Mozart and one on Rhymezone.com, because a lot of you readers took a look at it.

The 2nd Best Post of the Month is; 
A Post where I talk about the different Holidays celebrated in the month of December besides Christmas.
 
And Now, The Best Post of the Month of December, 2016 is;
Scientific Saturdays where I write on stories of science that I have been reading and I find enjoyable, so I pass them along to you hoping you are interested in them too! It is always fun to learn something new.

There you have it.
Another
Month
of
Entertaining,
Informative,
and
Controversial Posts
for your reading pleasure.

This is,
Hoping To Have Another Successful Year With New Followers
And Many More Comments Coming From You,
Jim Hauenstein,
 
And,
 
 “My blog is a collection of answers people don’t want to hear to questions they didn’t ask.”
- Sebastyne Young -
 
 That is my story and I am sticking to it!
 
Like what you are reading,
or do not like what you see.
Set up my Blog as your Homepage,
or sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment,
and I will answer you in a Post.
 
Thanks for reading.
 
Now,
for your listening pleasure,
herself,
singing
Auld Lang Syne!



Friday, December 30, 2016

Never Really Going To Understand Women


God has a real sense of humor.
When I young,
I was single by choice,
but not my choice.
The choice of everyone I dated.
So I prayed to our
Lord
for a woman who would love me for whom I am,
be understanding,
be kind,
stand behind me through thick & thin,
cook for me,
clean for me,
look to me with gratitude,
and obey me.
That night,
he came to me in a dream
and said,
"There are four women like that who would be with you eternally. Go to any of the four corners of the World and you will find one there!"
I awoke the next morning with the biggest smile on my face
and thought about what God had said to me.
Then I laid back down crying.
The World is round!

So,
let me get this straight.
Women get to wear fake hair,
fake nails,
fake eye lashes,
padded bras,
padded butts,
pumped up lips,
and get Botox,
but they are looking for a real man???
I have always wanted to be with two women at the same time.
One to cook
and one to clean.

I recently put a personal ad in the local paper's
"Want Ads."
Looking for someone like myself,
only with more money.

I hate blind dates.
On my last one I told my date a little white lie about myself
and she called me on it.
I didn't know what to do when she said,
"Show me the Bat Cave!"

A chicken
and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face,
and the egg is frowning
and looking put out.
The egg mutters,
to no one in particular,
"I guess we answered that question."

I am a philosopher at heart.
Here I will show you.
A quiet man, is a thinking man.
A quiet woman, is usually mad.

I blew it with my wife.
She was giving me the silent treatment for an entire week until I said, "Hey, we are getting along pretty good lately!"

I have the geekiest friend in the World,
but he always seems to have new girlfriends.
So I asked him his secret.
He told me you have to be sincere when you first talk to a lady.
Wow,
I said.
That is so profound.
What is the first thing you say to a woman then?
"Hi. My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?"

This is,
Never Really Going To Understand Women In This Lifetime,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
- Phyllis Diller -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading,
or do not like what you see.
Set up my Blog as your Homepage,
or sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment,
and I will answer you in a post.

Thanks for reading.

I actually have this poster hanging in my garage.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Why Should I Die? Chapter 8



   At the hospital a Doctor informs Natalie and the Van Hause family that he was sorry. There was nothing he could have done. It was too late. Jonas was already dead upon arriving at the ER room.

   He hands an envelope to Natalie saying, “I think this was meant for you.”

   Printed on the outside of the envelope, it reads; To My Loving Natalie, Please, For Your Beautiful Eyes Only.

   Later at home, crying alone in her bedroom, she opens up the envelope.

   First, she pulls out a colored picture of, what she thinks is, Jonas's Grandfather. A person she has never met and wonders why it would be in the envelope?

   Then she pulls out the letter and reads it.

   Dear Beautiful and Wonderful Girl of Mine, Natalie,

   If you are reading this, then something has happened to me before I am able to see you give birth to our Son.

   Sorry I can't be there for you.

   Don't mourn for too long or be unhappy because of my death. I know you must grieve some, but just know that I truly do love you and I know that you'll be a fantastic Mother to our child. You must move on for the sake of our son. He will need you.

   And yes, I know in my heart it will be a boy!

   I like the name Alan.

   When he starts to grow up, steer him away from Physics. See if you can lead him in the direction of Politics. I can already see him becoming a great President someday who will change the World.

   You may think my life has been cut short, but what a wonderful life it has been.

   I had you to share it with and the thought that we are having a Son together, I couldn't have asked for more in life.

   I know he will make us both proud!

   I Love You My Dear and Please, Live Life to Its Fullest!

   Jonas

   P.S. I have one last request for you. And, without sounding too morbid, please adhere to it. It really does mean a lot to me if you would follow my last request. Don't ever live in Paris, London, Moscow, Beijing or New York. I have this feeling it will be a matter of life and death for you and my son.

   P.S.S. Sorry if this scares you, but trust me on this, OK? The picture you are looking at is me. It is me from a different time. I love you.



I Will Love You Forever Natalie! In Any Of My Lifetimes And In All Of Yours!
 


This is,
Finished With The Rewrite Of My Story
Why Should I Die?
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

Today is my birthday!
Yeah!

“Today is a special day that will go by very fast, so let’s take every second to make the most out of every moment.”
- Auliq Ice -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading,
or do nor like what you see.
Set up my Blog as your Homepage,
sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment,
and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Never Wanting The United States To Fall Behind In Space

Sputnik Launched.
"It is October 4th, 1957 and the Soviet Union inaugurates the Space Age with its launch of Sputnik, the world’s first artificial satellite. The spacecraft, named Sputnik after the Russian word for “satellite,” was launched at 10:29 p.m. Moscow time from the Tyuratam launch base in the Kazakh Republic. Sputnik had a diameter of 22 inches and weighed 184 pounds and circled Earth once every hour and 36 minutes. Traveling at 18,000 miles an hour, its elliptical orbit had an apogee (farthest point from Earth) of 584 miles and a perigee (nearest point) of 143 miles. Visible with binoculars before sunrise or after sunset, Sputnik transmitted radio signals back to Earth strong enough to be picked up by amateur radio operators. Those in the United States with access to such equipment tuned in and listened in awe as the beeping Soviet spacecraft passed over America several times a day. In January 1958, Sputnik’s orbit deteriorated, as expected, and the spacecraft burned up in the atmosphere. Officially, Sputnik was launched to correspond with the International Geophysical Year, a solar period that the International Council of Scientific Unions declared would be ideal for the launching of artificial satellites to study Earth and the solar system. However, many Americans feared more sinister uses of the Soviets’ new rocket and satellite technology, which was apparently strides ahead of the U.S. space effort. Sputnik was some 10 times the size of the first planned U.S. satellite, which was not scheduled to be launched until the next year. The U.S. government, military, and scientific community were caught off guard by the Soviet technological achievement, and their united efforts to catch up with the Soviets heralded the beginning of the Space Race.”
History.com 
Why do I bring this up?
Because I believe we are at the beginning of a new
Space Race
with
China!

China aims for Moon and Mars, rivaling Us and Russia.
by SHUHEI YAMADA, Head of Nikkei's China Headquarters on NIKKEI Asian Review.com
"China is setting its eyes on the moon and Mars, announcing an ambitious program that it hopes will make it a leading space power. The goals were proclaimed in a white paper the space agency released Tuesday. The latest version of the plan, which is updated every five years, calls for launching an unmanned Mars probe in 2020, two landings on the moon with an eye on a future manned landing, and a widening of China's network of navigation satellites as part of its 21st-century Silk Road initiative. Speaking at a press conference Tuesday, Wu Yanhua, vice administrator of the China National Space Administration, said China's goal is to become one of the world's three top space powers, alongside the United States and Russia."

I applaud China's effort,
but,
in the back of my mind,
I am more leery of their overall intentions,
as the World was when
Russia launched the
Sputnik Satellite.
I applaud their efforts because I am hoping this will set in motion for the
United States
to once again do some exciting science out in space.
I was alive during the 1960s,
when we would gather around in a classroom
and watch
Apollo Missions
either take off from
Cape Canaveral,
or land in the ocean.
The launchpad is now called the
Those
Astronauts
were as big as
Rock Stars
in our imagination.
Hopefully,
this effort by
China
will bring back the competition
and excitement this country seems to be lacking when exploring
Space.

This is,
Never Wanting The United States To Fall Behind In Space,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard."
That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading,
or do not like what you see.
Set up my Blog as your Homepage,
or sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment,
and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

I Thought About My Past Today



    What can I say?
I didn't take the fork in the road which would have taken me down the path of fame
and fortune.

   Before I go any further,
let me just say,
I am very happy with the life I've had. 
Still having!
Knock on wood.

    I have seven wonderful children
and thirteen beautiful grandchildren.
That,
in itself,
is all the riches I'll ever need.
    I never believed,
that in my life,
I would get married,
being a thirty-five year old bachelor.
And for the life of me,
I never imagined having that many children too!

    What I'm trying to say here is,
we all have forks in the road
and the decisions we make at those intersections,
is never a wrong one.

    Regret is the evil speed bump in our road.
It eats away at any happiness you could have if you don't let yourself be content with where you are at anytime in life.

    In my life I believe I had at least three good chances at getting involved in the music industry.

    Probably not becoming a star
or anything like that,
but making a living at it.

 The first time.

I was involved,
like most people starting out,
playing in a band locally around my hometown.
The four best musicians in our area were playing at a local venue
and I went to go see them.

    The singer of the band didn't show up so about thirty minutes after they were supposed to start they asked if I would sing for them.

My choices came down to this.
If I had sung with them
and done well my reputation locally would have grown in stature.
I would have had better opportunities to play with the best people around.

If I had failed,
sung miserably,
I thought I could never have gotten through the humiliation.

I chose not to do it.

If I had,
I could have learned so much more about music
and I wouldn't have wasted so much time getting to the point where I could become a professional.

Second chance.

I was asked to become a roadie for the band
by their road crew manager,
through a friend of mine.

This time,
I had a full time job,
a girl friend,
and a popular local band.

I chose the safest
and secure way.
Staying put.

I kept the routine I knew best
and didn't take the roadie job.

The problem is,
nothing ever last
or stays the same in life.
Soon afterwards my girl friend left me,
the company I worked at went on strike,
the band I was in broke up,
and I totaled my Cadillac Eldorado Convertible.
All in a two week period.

If I had a dog during that time it probably would have died!

Third.

Before the band broke up,
we decided that we were going to cut a professional demo cassette recording.
Maybe press some vinyl.
I know its hard to understand by today's standards,
but MP3s
or even CDs hadn't come out yet. 
Well,
we cut the demo and the local
College Radio
was playing it pretty often.

After hearing it,
a local
Talent Agent,
asked if we were interested in signing up with him!

With momentum moving our way,
we decided to record about forty five more minutes of music.
I took the master recordings home,
told the other members to think about signing with the
Agent,
and waited to hear back from my mates.
I don't know if they were scared of change,
or what it was,
but we were at the next cusp in our journey as a band,
and when the verdict came in by the other members,
they wanted everything to stay the same.
So we disbanded.
I tried for a few more years playing music back in my old hometown,
eventually giving up
and hightailing it out to California.

And I would do it all over again,
the same way,
because of
Henrico,
Monchito,
Beverly,
Danielle,
Jamie,
Maryallan,
and
James Jr.

My kids.

This is,
I Thought About My Past Today While On My Daily Walk,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
- Winston S. Churchill -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading,
or do not like what you see.
Set up my Blog as your Homepage,
or sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment,
and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.