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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Julian The Zombie Killer

    No one ever believed that the Zombie Apocalypse could ever truly happen. It has always been the legend of Comic Books, Novels, TV, and Movies. Every movie making studio, in every country that has a studio, has made their version of the story. From Bollywood to Hollywood. From Kordia Studios, to Lenfilms, and to the Bantu Films made in South Africa, they have all made some kind of Zombie film.
   So when it came true, no one was prepared for it. Most people thought it was just a joke. Like the scare that went around the world in 2016. Folks, who were not related to each other or members of a world wide origination, separately dressed up as scary clowns just to frighten people. So when the first Zombies appeared across the globe, nobody thought twice about it until it was too late.
   People only started to take notice when one of their family members was found chewing on the family dog when they came home from work or school. Then their Zombie kin would drop the canine to get into their faces to chomp on their brains.
   So we all barricaded ourselves in our homes and turned on each other when the fresh water and food supplies became low. Which left plenty of dead corpses and close to death victims lying around for the Zombies to eat.
   The thing that I noticed? If a person was not quite dead yet, and they were bitten by a Zombie walking by, there was something in the saliva from that walking dead  person, that would get the newly bitten person upright, walking around, and start eating dead decaying meat themselves.
   It doesn't have to be your brain they want to eat, any decomposing carcass around a bone, from any animal, is food for the Zombies. Be it a bird or a human.
   The strange thing about all of this, "Zombies eating brains stereotyping," turns out to be true though. These bunch of semiconscious, salivating, parasite motivated creatures, act as if brains are a delicacy.
   I swear, if they could move their facial muscles just a sixteenth of an inch, they would be smiling from ear to fallen off ear when they had a mouth full of grey matter.
   But out of all of this chaos I speak of, a hero emerged.
   He came from out west. Cowboy hat and all. Wearing bandolier gun belts and carrying a couple of rifles.
   He was a crack sharp shooter to boot.
   I saw him lay a bullet in the forehead of a Zombie at four hundred feet while that parasite was munching on someone's femur.
   He is the new Sheriff in town. To protect and serve those of us still alive. Keeping the human species safe while he takes care of those Zombies.
   His name? Julian. The fastest gun in the west. And I am his Aunt Maryallan.
   I cried when he said he would protect me. I cried and I hug him until I could hug him no more.
   I love my nephew, known around these parts as, "Julian the Zombie killer."

This is,
A Story Inspired By A Dream My Daughter Had,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,
I Like This Story So Much I Had To Write It Down Agaim

“If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.”
- Craig Ferguson -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

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