Oppai Cell Phone Cover

I know the rest of the World has a different attitude on subjects like sex 

and violence than we do, 

here, 

in the United States. 

When I lived in Houston, 

Texas, 

I had a friend who was born 

and raised in Jamaica. 

Yes, 

he lived the Rastaman lifestyle 

and had a Reggae sounding speech to him. 

One time, 

he asked me,

"Why do your Television shows, show so much violence? When it comes to sex, the most natural thing in the World, your Television refuses to show it because it might corrupt your children, but people with guns, killing other people, a most unnatural act, is shown all the time?"

My only answer? 

I blame the Puritans. 

Where looking at the ankles of a Lady was an act of lust, 

back in the 1700s, 

that you had to do a penance to ask for forgiveness 

and to forgive yourself. 

We all know how the French feel on this subject. 

Even if you are married, 

if you don't have a Mistress, 

there must be something physically wrong with you. 

Meaning, 

sex is good, 

violence is not. 

But, 

I'm a little confused on a new product coming out of Japan though. 

What age group is an 

Oppai cell phone cover 

for? 

Oh, 

you didn't know what Oppai meant?

The Urban Dictionary 

defines Oppai as a Japanese word meaning; 

A woman's breasts. A tasty treat.

The people in Japan selling the cover advertise it as,

"When you just want to touch and squish something other than the front screen of your iPhone, great for Oppai fans." 

Okay? 

I have a box of them on order for all my friends for their coming birthdays. 

Won't that be a pleasant surprise for them! 

Now, 

if the Japanese could come up with something useful, 

like the

"Noiseless Karaoke Mute Mic. A soundless singing microphone for iPad, iPhone, smartphone, tablet, or any other device which takes a small USB type of plug."

Wait, 

they did! 

They sell it on the website  

Japan Trend Shop. 

I'll never have to hear those out-of-tune notes again!

This is,

Singing In The Rain On My New Karaoke Mute Microphone Which Is Plug Into My Smartphone With The New Oppai Cover,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"If you bring the karaoke machine, I'll bring the air guitar."
- Jarod Kintz -

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

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