All my wit
and wisdom on my
under quotes.
"I loved Verti. Until she jumped. That is when I felt Vertigo."
"I believe everyone in life has a soul mate. And if I ever find mine, my wife will kill her!"
"Does love make the world go around? Well yes. But whiskey makes it go around twice as fast."
"My body is like a Temple in Nepal. It is sacred, but has a lot of damage from the earthquake of my youth!"
"The Dictionary defines Soul Mate as: A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament. Before I met mine, I didn't know I was bonkers!"
"People think I am younger then I really am, because I act so immature."
"Teenagers - tired of being hassled by your parents? Act now! Move out, get a job, pay your own bills.....while you still know everything."
"If you think that American Capitalism is the most dangerous Institution in the World, it just goes to show, that you haven't partied like there is no tomorrow with the fun loving posse of The Islamic Republic of Iran, North Korea, The Taliban, or ISIS. They all party off the hook!"
"Me, personally. I do not know a soul who perished that day of 9/11. But it did then, does now, and I imagine it always will bring out the Patriot in me."
"The reason I might forget something is because my mind is like a computer. I have so much useless stuff stored up in there, that when I forget to clean out my Mind's Cache, it has no room for new information. Like wearing pants!"
"When all else fails, there is music. When that fails you, there is beer!"
"Life experiences shared with a friend will turn into memories to be enjoyed."
"I try to pray everyday or every night to thank my Personal Lord for all that he has given me, all that he is giving me, and all that he will give me."
"A life that is happy and has no money, is better then a life unhappy with money."
"Before you start your full day of watching Equestrian Square Dancing, Soccer Balling, Hoop Dreaming, Cricket Batting, Rugby Punching, Volleyball Chopping, Skateboard Falling, Martial Arts Bowing, Bicycle Peddlers, and College Football Hecklers, maybe we have time to learn something
Scientifically."
"I have tried to live my life with no regrets. Because regrets will become guilt in some cases, and guilt eats away at your sanity."
"Who is watching the Watchers?"
"Be careful when you ask Karma for something that you have always wanted. When I was young, I asked to be surrounded by beautiful women. Now I have a wife and four daughters."
"Have no regrets in life because of the choices you make. Good or bad, they are a learning experience, to help you grow. The only regret in life, is to never make a choice at all."
"I still believe this Life is a good joke. And if you treat it that way, you will never stop laughing."
"Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!"
"Realize in life that you will have your ups and downs. You can't have those wonderful up moments without the downs. If everything stayed the same all the time, that would be depressing."
"Women. You have to love them the way they are or they'll drive you insane."
"I have heard that the French like to say, "Nobody grows old during a happy occasion at the dining table." With such wonderful family and friends all around us for Mitchell's and Stacie's wedding, I know their love will always stay young and true to one another, because of the love and happiness we all have in this room today!"
"From Imagination comes Reality my friend."
"God is out there. Using the Earth as an experiment. Bringing these creatures to life, then extinction. Another set of creatures to life, then extinction. Let's hope he isn't bored of us yet!"
"Change is inevitable. Change is exciting. Change is good. Look forward to change and embrace it. Then you will never be left behind in life!"
"I'm not afraid of heights. I just really respect them. That is why I stay away from the edge!"
"Hate is a powerful emotion. It can take over a sane man's mind and cloud it with insanity."
"I try to pray everyday or night to thank my Personal Lord for all that he has given me, all that he is giving me, and all that he will give me."
"If we are made in his image. How will that change in this next stage in our evolution? Where we have cloning of individuals and gene manipulation to enhance ourselves. Are we changing what that image is?"
"Eye Amost Evr Spel Ah Werd Wong Annymoe, sinc eye goat alto pel"
This is,
Not Saying I Am The Next Aristotle
But If You Know Me I Never Run Out Of Things To Say,
Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“May you live every day of your life.”
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That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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