Bill Kurtis Limericks

Do you know the answers to these

Limericks?

1. Since moon rocks are easy to scoop, old waste we will try to recoup. We're paying the piper by bringing home diapers. We'll go back to pick up our...

2. It's quite an upbeat epilogue. They've found me a mate in a bog. I've got an amphibian reason to live again. I'm no longer the loneliest...

3. To ruthless, blood-sucking banditos, we humans are just big burritos. But play them some Skrillex, and they will not drill-ex. It kills food and sex for...

4. I will bring a new life to this earth. So I'll look like the millions I'm worth. I'm like Meghan Markle with lip gloss and sparkles. I look really glam giving...

5. On Mars, there's no planes where the brush blooms. But no life - here a big-fingered hush looms. The rover has found roundish bumps on the ground. And some say those are pictures of...

This is,

Finding These Limericks Funny

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“A wonderful bird is the Pelican. His beak can hold more than his belly can. He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week! But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?”
- Dixon Lanier Merritt -

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Answers

1. Poop - The Apollo 11 astronauts left 96 bags of human waste up on the moon. Now we know why there's a dark side of the moon.

2. Frog - Back in January, the so-called world's loneliest frog, thought to be the last Sehuencas water frog. He lived in isolation for 10 years. But an expedition to Bolivia found Romeo his Juliet and also another frog that secretes a poison that makes it seem like you're dead when you're really not. But I'm sure nothing bad will come of that.

3. Mosquitoes - Deejay Skrillex is apparently a real buzz-kill. According to researchers, Skrillex's EDM track "Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites" has been linked to declined mosquito mating rates.

4. Birth - More and more women are getting stylists to come in and get them gussied up for postpartum glamour shots. One New York spa will send a stylist to do your makeup and your hair in the delivery room. It's part of a - it's part of a special beauty package called hey, how did you get in here?

5. Mushrooms -  Get ready for some Martian risotto, as mushrooms might be growing on Mars. A recent study in the Journal of Astrobiology and Space Science shows photos that they say could be mushrooms growing on Mars. Although, one of the many skeptical internet commenters said, quote, "the journal and article are both garbage," unquote, or so says what is I'm sure a real scientist who calls himself Zebelkroid (ph).