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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Someday I Will Find One

This first one is actually a true story.

"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil."

"A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, all working for NASA, were discussing where to go on their next expedition. Let's go to the Moon, the brunette suggested. No. Let's go to Mars, said the redhead.
The brunette and redhead sat there arguing until the blonde finally yelled, Stop arguing you two! I know where we should go on our next trip. Let's go to the Sun! The redhead and brunette looked at each other and began laughing. We can't go to the Sun, exclaimed the brunette. We would melt or burn up before we even got close! Duh! Not if we go at night! replied the blonde."

This story is also true.
Well, only the part where they do shoot chickens at aircraft.

"Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshield of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA's response was just three words, Thaw the chicken."

"What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts"

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet."

"What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The space bar."

"How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket."
 See the source image
 Doing
Jokes
today because I will be gone tomorrow.
See you on
Saturday!

This is,
Always Looking For A Good Joke
And Someday I Will Find One
Jim Hauenstein

And,

“Don't tell me the sky is the limit. There are footprints on the Moon.”
- Joseph Shellim -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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