This first one is actually a true story.
"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered
that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the
problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen
that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any
surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing
to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil."
"A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, all working for NASA, were discussing where to go on their next expedition. Let's go to the Moon, the brunette suggested. No. Let's go to Mars, said the redhead.
The brunette and redhead sat there arguing until the blonde finally yelled, Stop arguing you two! I know where we should go on our next trip. Let's go to the Sun! The redhead and brunette looked at each other and began laughing. We can't go to the Sun, exclaimed the brunette. We would melt or burn up before we even got close! Duh! Not if we go at night! replied the blonde."
The brunette and redhead sat there arguing until the blonde finally yelled, Stop arguing you two! I know where we should go on our next trip. Let's go to the Sun! The redhead and brunette looked at each other and began laughing. We can't go to the Sun, exclaimed the brunette. We would melt or burn up before we even got close! Duh! Not if we go at night! replied the blonde."
This story is also true.
Well, only the part where they do shoot chickens at aircraft.
"Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch
dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the
space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.The idea is to simulate
the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the
strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and
were eager to test it on the windshield of their new high speed trains.
Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood
shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the
shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the
control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded
itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the
disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the
windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA's
response was just three words, Thaw the chicken."
"What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts"
"How does NASA organize a party? They planet."
"What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
The space bar."
"How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket."
Doing
Jokes
today because I will be gone tomorrow.
See you on
Saturday!
This is,
Always Looking For A Good Joke
And Someday I Will Find One
Jim Hauenstein
And,
“Don't tell me the sky is the limit. There are footprints on the Moon.”
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That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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