Just One More Time For The Fun Of It

Over the years,

I have told my children that it is a good idea to read about all the different religious

and political groups of the world.
That way you will have a better idea why they think the way they do.

I have read the
Quran,

Mein Kampf,

The Communist Manifesto,
and other political
and religious books to see what stirs the hearts of

Men & Women.

So,

to be fair to our outgoing

President,

I went out

and bought a copy of his book;

The Art of the Deal.

He must have foreseen his future when he wrote it because the book has

  Six Chapter Elevens!
What?????????????

 

Get it?

Because he went

Bankrupt

six times. ;)

"Tonight we honor a self-made millionaire. He started with nothing, worked hard, and made a fortune ... That man is Fred Trump, Donald's dad. That's right, for all his self-starter bullshit, he's basically Jaden Smith with a comb-over."

Seth MacFarlane

"You put up more useless hotels than an autistic kid playing Monopoly."

Lisa Lampanelli

"Donald Trump, without a doubt, you're a New York landmark. Which means it's only a matter of time before you bulldoze yourself to build some gaudy, tacky monstrosity and put your name on it."

Larry King

"And Donald, I’m not even sure if you’re aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie Wall Street is that no one’s going to be sad when you get cancer."

Anthony Jeselnik

"Melania, you look so beautiful tonight. Give her a round of applause. You’ve been such a good sport. So gorgeous. These two are so compatible, because they both yell out Donald’s name when they climax."

Jeff Ross

OK,

one last joke about our worst

President

ever elected.

Asked what his new

Foreign Policy

would have been if he had been re-elected the orange menace said,
"If you mess with the United States, there will be my hell toupee!"

These are not my

Jokes.

They are from

Comedy Central's Roast

of

Donald Trump

in 2011

and the last one is off one of those joke websites.

This is,

Still Believing Life Is All A Good Joke

And If You Treat It That Way,

You Will Never Stop Laughing.

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”
- Charles Dickens -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I'll answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

 

Before And After

This past summer,

and I cannot remember the exact date for the life of me,

I said I would put up before and after pictures of me when I got a haircut and a shave.

I do not want to be known as a liar so I am going to do that today.

I would like to say first that

COVID-19 Pandemic Lock Down

has not treated me well.

Before this all started I was a lean 225 pounds

and have ballooned to a whopping 265 lbs.

Or for anyone living outside the

United States

I was 102 kilograms

and am now a 120 kg.

This is before;

Enough with the

Santa Claus

reference.

This is after;

 There you have it.

I am aging beautifully.

This is,

Yes Those Are Two Different Doctor Who T-Shirts I Am Wearing

Jim Hauenstein

 

And,

 

“Nothing shouts out “Celebrity!” as loudly as being a biker in desperate need of a shave, a haircut and clean clothes.”
- Foster Kinn -

 

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Sign up as a Follower

or leave a Comment

If it's worthy enough

I'll answer you in a Post

Thanks for reading

 

Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

Family First

I know.

You think I haven't written on my

Blog

because I was waiting for the outcome of this past election.

You think I am going to derive pleasure from the victory of

Joe Biden

over

Donald Trump.

Well yes,

I am.

And yes I did.

There is a long way to go from here though.

All the progress we have made as a

Nation

during the last 6 decades were reversed by 4 years of bigotry.

Okay,

I could go on & on about this subject but I want to emphasize that today is,

Family Comes First.

My daughter flew in from

Philadelphia

last week.

My grandson

and my daughter will be staying until this coming

Wednesday.

I just want to ask you to be patient with me until

Thursday.

I doubt I will be able to write again until then.

Maybe you could look at some of my older

Posts

on the

Blog Archive,

buy my e-novel

No Return Address,

read the 4 part series

Gentle Jim And Niagara Falls,

watch my

Music Videos,

Help Me Write The Experiment,

the 46 episodes of

The Man From Mars,

the 8 chapters of

Why Should I Die?,

True Life Stories,

The Hauenstein Philosophy,

Poetry,

or all my original stories on

Short Stories & Flash Fiction.

I hope you keep on reading

and I will see you

Thursday.

 This is,

Telling You To Spend As Much Time As You Can With Your Family

Jim Hauenstein

And,

“There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family.”
- C. JoyBell C. -

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

 Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower

or leave a Comment

If it's worthy enough

I'll answer you in a Post

Thanks for reading

 

Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

Election Day 2020

 It is a big day in the

United States.

It is

Election Day.

 

In this country,

 if you don't think it is important enough to use your right to vote,

to entice you,

they offer you

Free Donuts

and a sticker that reads

 I Voted

at the polling stations!

I know more people in this country are taking it seriously this time around

and the turnout should be the biggest in recent elections.

My question is,

Who Will You Vote For?

This is,

Predicting That If Pumpkin Face Loses

He Will Press The Button To Launch Nuclear Weapons To End The World

Jim Hauenstein

And,

“When one with honeyed words but evil mind persuades the mob, great woes befall the state.”
- Euripides -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

 Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower

or leave a Comment

If it's worthy enough

I'll answer you in a Post

Thanks for reading

 

Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

 

10 Proof or 5 Percent ABV

Hey, did you hear that Apple, the computer company, wants to develop their own autonomous cars? They have a huge problem to overcome. They are having trouble loading Windows!

I can't wait to see Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates in Heaven. Once he gives me the gate code, it will be the first time I live in a gated community!

If you have been reading this Blog over the years, you know that I was a musician for many years. And after all these years I still get recognized once in awhile. It is at Family Reunions, but I still get recognized!

The other day, I went to one of those fancy discounted Oriental massage parlors, hoping to get a "Happy Ending." It turned out to be self-serve!

 

When I first met my wife, she used to call me "The Drunken Master" because of all the beer I drank. When I look back now and think about all the money I spent on beer over the years, if I had that money today, think of all the beer I could buy!

  This is

Hoping You Had A Safe Halloween

TwoBuckHowie

And

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

- Benjamin Franklin -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

 Like what you are reading

 

Sign up as a Follower or leave a Comment

 

I would love to hear from you 

Thanks for reading

 

Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You