Fishing

“Hey you. What are you doing down there?” asks an elderly gentleman as he shines his flashlight close to the water’s edge, on a person leaning up against a large rock.

A pretty faced girl turns her head to face the man questioning her and sees he is also with a boy about 8 years old.

“I’m fishing,” she tells him.

“Fishing?” the old man asks.

“Yes, fishing.” she replies.

A confused looking child asks his great grandpa, “What is fishing papa?”

“Well, a long time ago there used to be sea creatures swimming in these waters and people would have poles with strings attached to them with a hook and some bait on the hook to entice these creatures to take a bite. These creatures, called fish, would then get caught by the hook so the people with the poles could bring them ashore for eating.”

“Those people were called fishermen,” tells the girl. “Kind of sexist if you ask me, since women fished too!”

“How do you know so much about fishing young girl?” asks the old man.

“I read all about it in a book by Samuel Clemens,” the girl says.

Before anyone else can say anything the boy jumps in by asking, “Now what’s a book?”

His great grandpa answers, “It’s how we used to read before your school implant was attached to your brain so you could visualize the school’s reading material in front of your eyes.”

“But why is she fishing papa?”

“Yes little lady. Why are you fishing?” he asks. “There’s no longer any fish in this lake.”

“Sir,” she says flatly to the stranger. “It's not all about catching the fish. It’s about serenity. About getting in tune with oneself. Relaxing.”

“Isn’t that what your frontal lobe stimuli implant is for?” he asks.

“This is a natural way of doing it,” she says. “I believe they used to call it, being in Zen with the fish.”

 

This is,

Saying I Wrote This On My Cell Phone So The Color Came Out Blue

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I go fishing for reasons other than catching fish.”
- Fennel Hudson -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.

 

Be kind to everyone

 

I'll Be seeing you

Still Learning Even After Leaving School Behind Years Ago

I will editing some stories today so I hope you enjoy this
Post
from
October 10th 2016
called
Once Again.
If you like old books
and learning about how earlier generations thought about things,
Google Books
and the
New York Public Library
have some
Free To Read
historical collections that you need to check out.

*****
The day after that wonderful

Debate,

where the

Candidates

were especially cordial to one another,

you are sitting home alone wondering,

where in

God's Green Earth

can I find a book to read that is called;

A Catalogue of Books Relating to the History and Topography of Italy

by Sir Richard Colt Hoare, 2nd Baronet from the Internet Archive?

Well,

here it is.

 "Just the facts Ma'am."

- Joe Friday -

OK,

these are the facts;

Book digitized by Google from the library of the New York Public Library and uploaded to the Internet Archive by user tpb.

Publisher Printed by W. Bulmer andCo.
Year 1812
Pages 127
Possible copyright status NOT_IN_COPYRIGHT
Language English
Digitizing sponsor Google
Book from the collections of New York Public Library
Collection americana
Notes Frontispiece is book-plate of the Stourhead Library.

Next question please.

You know,

the one you didn't know you wanted to ask.

Don't be shy. 

What the heck is a Baronet?
A Baronet or the rare female equivalent, a Baronetess is the holder of a baronetcy, a hereditary title awarded by the British Crown. The practice of awarding baronetcies was originally introduced in England in the 14th century and was used by James I of England in 1611 as a means of raising funds. A baronetcy is the only British hereditary honor that is not a peerage, with the exception of the Anglo-Irish Black Knight, White Knight and Green Knight (of which only The Green Knight is extant). A Baronet is addressed as "Sir" (just as is a knight) or "Dame" in the case of a Baronetess but ranks above all knighthoods and Damehoods in the Order of precedence, except for the Order of the Garter and the Order of the Thistle (and the dormant Order of St Patrick). Baronets are not deemed members of the nobility, but rather, titled gentry. In Europe, their social rank is roughly equivalent to petty nobility.
 

Did you get all that?

So,

the next time you are sitting around the coffee table,

I mean,

the tea table,

and your snobbish

Uncle Clifford

comes through the door stating he has just been awarded the moniker

"Baronet"

by the

Queen of England,

just secretly remember,

"In Europe, their social rank is roughly equivalent to PETTY NOBILITY!"

This is,

Once Again,

Answering Those Questions You Didn't Know You Wanted To Ask,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.”
- Elizabeth I -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

The Pope Likes The Saints

I have said it before

and I'll say it again.

True

Heroes

are the people who fight in

The Armed Forces

of whichever

Country

they enlist in.

That

Sport Figures

are not really

Heroes.

That a team praying for guidance

and the strength to beat their opponents is not something

God

is interesting in hearing.

But wait!

I could be wrong!

By: John Sigler for Saints Wire on USAToday.com
New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton must have friends in high, high places. His team caught a stray mention in a tweet from Pope Francis early Sunday morning, in which the supreme pontiff expressed thanks for new saints while looking to them for guidance — adding a hashtag to “saints,” likely in hopes of getting it trending to reach new followers. While the leader of the Catholic Church likely did not mean to associate his tweet with the professional football team that plays in New Orleans, his support is probably appreciated. The NFL has introduced official hashtags for each of its teams in recent years, typically pairing a unique emoji geared towards each team’s specific brand (the Jacksonville Jaguars, for example, get #DUVAAAL, referencing the local county and a popular call-and-response chant with its fans). Saints fans got the short straw this year, drawing the very simple #Saints hashtag accompanied by the team’s fleur-delis logo. So Francis’s use of it (and its association with the team) is purely accidental.

Still, some members of the team enjoyed the support. Saints linebacker Alex Anzalone laughed it off on Twitter, and many fans responded to Francis’s message in hopes of earning a prayer for injured quarterback Drew Brees. It’s all in good fun, of course, but it’s not every day Catholic Saints fans get to directly address the leader of their faith.

This is,

Asking Who Is The Bishop Up In Green Bay

And Can He Help Out The Packers?

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.”
- Billy Joel - 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. The Saints won by the way. Score; Saints 13 - Jaguars 6

I'm Always Trying To Be Funny

 From
Friday September 23rd 2016
my humorous
Post

Two Of These Stories Are True - Can You Tell Which Ones?

*****
My grandson asked me the other day;

"Grandpa, why do you always tell me no? You say no, I can’t have any candy. You say no, I can’t have any soda. You say no, I can’t have a dog. Grandpa, I am going to run away."

So I said,

"Yes."
"Go ahead. I’ll see you later then."

Tell me this.

How do they know all penguins are monogamous?

You know,

mate for life?

If they all look alike,

how do we know they are not cheating on one another?

 

I went to see my doctor this week.

She looked me in the eyes

and asked me,

"Jim, are you on drugs? Your eyes are so red."

I said,

"No Doc, my allergies are acting up."

"I never tested you for allergies Jim?"

Says my Doctor.

"What are you allergic to?"

So I told her,

"Pot."

She then asks me,

"What are you taking for your allergies?"

I said,

"Mozzarella sticks!"

I went to the grocery store yesterday

and before I got in,

this guy holding a signup sheet outside asks,

"Sir, would you like to volunteer to help clean up trash from our beaches this coming weekend?"

I tell him,

"I already volunteer every Saturday and Sunday to help keep our beautiful state clean."

Not knowing there was this other guy behind me who works with me on the weekend speaks up

and says.

"Yes, he does. He also wears an orange vest and picks up trash along the Highway with the rest of us weekend convicts."

My best friend,

from years gone by,

named Scott,

had the same hairline problem as I do.

OK,

we didn’t have hair on the top of our heads.

One day we were sitting at the bar a little too long

and I got all emotional.

I lean over to him,

pulling him close to hug him,

I tell him loudly,

“I love you man.”

Then the top of our heads came together

and from the other side of the bar this lady says,

“Look at those two. They’re making an Ass out of themselves!”

This is,

Saying God Made A Lot Of Beautiful Heads In This World.

The Ones He Didn't Like,

He Covered Up!

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.”
- Audrey Hepburn -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Words For Today

Murry Monster on

Sesame Street

is not looking for these

Words On The Street!

Zabaglione - Frothy Custard

Yaff - To bark like a snarling dog

Xenodocheionology - Love of Hotels

Ulotrichous - Having woolly hair

Here is one of my favorite words.

It probably explains my fetish with hats!

Nanocephalous - Having a extremely small head

This is,

Don't Ask Me Why I Wrote Down These Words Today

I Just Like Looking Up New Words Everyday

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“This is a crisis in our culture because we have stopped raising MEN and wee are raising P U S I L L A N I M O U S males at epidemic proportions!”
- S. J. Gold -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.