Time Escapes Tours

   "Everyone, back in the capsule, now!" Barks the agitated Tour Director, at the fifteen passengers under his watch. It is always something on these trips that upsets his constitution to the point where he wants to quit and go back to the quite life. But he quit his boring teaching job to do this. Have adventures in his life and take control of his own future.
   Since he is the sole authority on this "Time Escapes Tours'," time capsule, the power granted to him by the charter the Government gave to his tour agency, Barney Humble likes to think of himself as the Captain on these voyages. The man in charge. The only person who can order the affluent around, with no questions asked. The person who teaches these aristocrats what is the difference between an extinct frog and an extinct toad on these time skirmishes.
   Sure, all of these voyages are sent back in time, but that is what the Government allows.
   There is only one Tour Agency in the World with a charter to use time travel. No one can travel into the future since the "World Accord," was written by the Governments from the year 2121 and the Governments from the year 2334. It mandated that only preventive global extinction needs and humanitarian needs would allow special envoys to go into the future.
   The governments of the year 2334 were intelligent enough, knowing that time travelers were coming, not to give any advance military secrets or technology to any one group. In essence, stopping a time war from happening before it could happen.
   Where groups of advanced militia type personnel, would try to go back in time, further then their opponents, to eliminate those opponents before they went back in time further and eliminated the first group.
   More frightening to the futuristic Governments, was bringing back weaponry into their past, which might fall into the wrong hands and be reversed engineered. Changing the Time Warrior's and their Government's future. No longer having the same present, as when the Militia left.
   No one wanted a future so drastically changed by advanced technology falling into a less intelligent human species, that their government, way of life, or their lives themselves be lost forever because of an alternating past. Which probably meant, their type of future no longer existed.
   "No way am I letting that corpse of a Velociraptor onto my capsule." Says Captain Humble to Earnest Nathanial Agnew. One of the richest men in the world, and the one holding a crossbow, fully loaded.
   "You will do exactly that Tour Guide. I paid a lot of money to a lot of people to get my trophy, and don't think I could care less if you live or die because of your ethics." Answers Earnest, as he slowly raises the crossbow so the arrow points at Humble's chest.
   "How did you get a weapon on board in the first place?" Questions Barney Humble. "The computers should have picked it up immediately?"
   "That's why I paid a lot of money." Smirks Earnest Agnew. "Our computer systems were program for our weaponry of our day, explosive made from the past, and chemicals from any era which could cause a global change. No one dreamed of the earliest man's weapons of stick and stones being deadly. So when the computer saw I was bringing on board pieces of wood, it did not see a potential of a deadly weapon being made."
   "You will never get away with this." Captain Humble says.
   "But I already have." A delighted Earnest says. "Once we arrive in our time period, guards will be there to arrest you for criminal acts of treason against our Government, as it will be you who is framed for the weapon which was brought on board. I will be able to keep my trophy and you will spend the rest of your life in jail."
   "I'll tell the truth. Everyone will know it was really you who brought the crossbow onto the capsule." An obvious agitated Barney Humble says.
   "You will never get your day in court Tour Guide." Smiles Agnew. "Now let's get back to our time so I can hang my trophy on a wall!"
   Laughter, from Earnest Nathanial Agnew, can be heard over the hum of a small black hole being formed in the engine room. As time slips faster and faster into the future, his laughter becomes louder and louder.
   When the craft stops at the correct time line, Agnew's laughter stops at the same moment.
   "Open the door Tour Guide. It is time to meet your fate!"
   When the door opens, there is a surprise waiting for all of them.
   "Earnest Nathanial Agnew, I arrest you under the Parent-Teacher's Association law of 2013, where it is illegal to kill any living species, future, present, or past. All of your worldly possessions will be confiscated, and your life story stricken from the history books." A small, bespectacled gentleman says.
   "Wait, no!" Cries a confused Agnew. "Where are my guards? Where are my men? I paid a lot of money for my trophy and I am not going to stand for this."
   "Take him away." Says the head of the Worlds governing body. The PTA.
   He now looks to the Tour Director, Captain Humble.
   "Mister Barney Humble. May I be the first to welcome you to a new time line that you've created. After a World Conference feed broadcast to the masses, we will have a pot luck dinner in your honor, so you can instill in us the courage it took to stand by your ethnics and lead us into this new world order."

 

 This is,

It Could Happen

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"It starts innocently. Casually. You turn up at the annual spring fair full of beans, help with the raffle tickets (because the pretty red-haired music teacher asks you to) and win a bottle of whiskey (all school raffles are fixed), and, before you know where you are, you're turning up at the weekly school council meetings, organizing concerts, discussing plans for a new music department, donating funds for the rejuvenation of the water fountains—you're implicated in the school, you're involved in it. Sooner or later you stop dropping your children at the school gates. You start following them in."
- Zadie Smith -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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