Meiko Kaji

Back in the day,

watching

Japanese

movies,

with there non-synchronized

English

voices overdubbing the was a source of humor for my friends and I,

as we sat around someone's basement smoking a couple of spleafs.

I even had a favorite actress at the time,

mind you this is during the 1970s,

and a couple of favorite movies too!

I can't actually remember the names of most of the movies,

except of course for some of the big time classics like

Bruce Lee's

Enter The Dragon

and

Jackie Chan's

Drunken Master,

but I will never forget my

Japanese

on screen heart throb,

Meiko Kaji

and her role in the movie

Lady Snowblood.

I wonder if she is free these days for a date?

This is,

愛する梶恵子

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"Don't wait for the change of circumstances. You change the circumstances."
- Jackie Chan, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Running Jimmy And Pickled Mary

I have been tellin' this story nearly sixty year. You boys and girls of the First Baptist Church of Franklin County in the great state of Missouri seem to enjoy it though. So I keep tellin' it.
   I guess the best way to begin is where Runnin' Jimmy comes unto this world. That would explain his strange name to you folks who never heard this tale before.
   It starts with Preacher John, who was a green eyed, cross eyed, hard man to get along with. But he told the word of God and was the only man of the cloth to answer the town's request in the Pennsylvania Gazette Newspaper for their need of one.
   The township of New Hope, Missouri was Preacher-less until he came and told the Lord's message.
   It did not take long until he was sayin' Fire and Brimstone was soon comin' down from Heaven because of the sins of the valley.
   That was when Miss Mable, the colored school Marm here in New Hope was found to be carryin' a child.
   She never would say who fathered the child so Preacher John explained it as the Devil's work and the child should not walk this Earth.
   Good old Missus Jenkins would hear none of that talk. "God will never blame an unborn child for the sins of its parents," she would say.
   And you children here know the Jenkins clan well. Old Missus Jenkins slapped many of your Daddy and Mommy rumps when they came unto this world. Her daughter slapped you older boys and girls rumps and her daughter slapped you younger folk so your parents could hear the joy of your cry. God's gift of life.
   I like when I see you older boys get Indian faces, no disrespect to our friends intended, when you hear your rumps were slapped by a woman. It shows humility.
   Now where was I?
   Ah yes.
   Poor Miss Mable, I guess, could not bare to see what would happen to her newborn if Preacher John got his way. So she passed away at givin' birth, God rest her soul, leavin' Missus Jenkins with the task of raisin' the new born boy until he could walk.
   Preacher John was so fiery with his conviction that the child was the Devil's work that the town folk had to build a little home for him out in the woods where he was told by the Preacher he would live alone.
   You know the good people here never gave it another thought by disobeying that green eyed Preacher. Each day one Ma or Pa from your kinfolk would go out to them woods, and teach the boy, schoolin' and feedin' him the best county corn and roast pig. All he could eat.
    Soon folks here would see that boy at the edge of the forest's pine trees or edge of their wheat fields wavin' to them with a big smile on his face. Before they could answer, he'd run off faster than a jackrabbit.
   He knew never to smile at the cross eyed Preacher John though.
   Sometimes I think he taunted the Preacher by showin' himself to him, waitin' until cross eyed got his shotgun out, runnin' before that Preacher got a clean shot off. All you ever saw was a bloom of dust and rock where the gunshot hit the ground.
   That was where the boy was standin', but he be runnin' so fast, he be maybe 15 to 16 full grown corn stalks in length away laughin' like those hyenas you hear about from back east, that the rich folk go see at them zoos.
   Town folks all called him boy until then. After, he'd be known as Runnin' Jimmy.
   Now Pickled Mary's name came a different way of course.
   Uncle Jim, your name is Jim and Aunt Mary's name is Mary. Is this story about you two?
   Shush girl. That's what's wrong with this generation of boys and girls. You don't know when to shush and when to talk. And besides, do I look like I could run anywhere?
   Pickled Mary, now she was an ornery girl, with the attitude of protecting her friends and always tellin' the truth. She got her Christian name at birth but her funny name, Pickled, actually came from her tryin' to rip the ears off the cousin of Preacher John.
   This fellow came to New Hope tellin' folks he was related to the town's Preacher. No one ever saw the two together talkin' nor did this fellow ever show up for the Sunday sermon.
   The Preacher was asked about this fellow and his answer was always the same, "Wrong side of the family."
   One day this fellow had trapped Mary behind the family's barn. Nobody knew why he was there, but as Mary tells it, "I have seen horses and cows mate. Was told early on about the birds and the bees, but once that man told me what he was going to do to me, God as my witness knows I should have ripped more than his ears off. I have never heard such shameful words in all my days!"
   It was said after, that, that fellow ran straight out of town screaming, "The girl is picklelated!"
   I am not sure if it's ever been a word, but back then, picklelated meant you were a little crazy. So instead of callin' her Crazy Mary, Pickled Mary seemed more appropriate.
   That's not the end of your story telling, is it Uncle Jim?
Girl, I told you shush once now already. Do not go and anger me so I have to find a sturdy switch to use on you.
   Sorry Uncle Jim.
   You get excited easily there Gertrude, I know. Still, you a good child.
   New Hope already found the red headed Scott, Miss Finley, to become the School Marm. And it be a good choice too, since she lasted 30 year to school your families.
   Preacher John and Miss Finley never made friends like he and Miss Mable did before Miss Mable began carryin' child.
   Miss Finley says Preacher John was too stupid to be a real Preacher and he got his, she often used the word credentials, from the back of a box of lye.
   I never really knew what she meant by that but the smarter townsfolk took it as he was a fake. Not really a Preacher at all.
   We will never know for sure. When Miss Finley wrote to the Bishop of Philadelphia, it was in the fall of the year of our Lord, 1832. That year the snow came late, the ground was dry and hard, the leaves no longer hung on trees, and bushes were bare of all life.
   Some say it was Preacher John himself who started the fires near the school house. Some say it was lightnin' strikin' without the rain. But the good Lord was looking out for our School Marm that night, when the wind shifted away from the school house and back up the valley.
   It could have been a deadly shift of wind if it was not for the fact that smoke blew right into the woods where Runnin' Jimmy lay sleepin'. That boy woke with only one thought. Wake the townsfolk before they all burn in their homes.
   Now don't you girls go a gigglin', but Runnin' Jimmy never gave no heed to his looks that night. He ran straight to the Church and up the bell tower, naked as a mole rat. Those two bells rang and rang, even though Preacher John said it was the Devil's work again.
   No need tellin' you the men folk woke in time to get the women and children to form a line from the river with buckets, splashing all the town's buildins' with water, while the men raked and digged the hard ground, throwin' dirt on the comin' flames.
   The only buildin' burnt down was Preacher John's home.
   Most of the men came to look at the burnt out home after the danger had passed. Preacher John was there with shotgun in hand yellin' for the Devil child to show himself.
   With no fear in his eyes, runnin' as fast as ever, the mole rat-dressed boy stops not ten fully grown corn stalks away, anger on his face, lookin' at Preacher John, as if green eyes was a guilty soul.
"Say your prayer's boy, you are on your way to Hell," says the cross eyed Preacher.
   Pickled did not hesitate. She stood right in front of Runnin' Jimmy. With ambers still glowin' hot from the burnt down buildin', reflectin' red off her white skin, Pickled Mary screamed, "You are the Devil if you kill Runnin' Jimmy after he saved all our lives."
   "Get away from him girl or you will be going to Hell with your friend there."
   The men folk of New Hope were angered by a threat to one of their daughters by a man of the cloth. Before he could get a shot off, they surrounded him.
   I cannot tell you what might have been said to the Preacher that night, but cross eyed was no longer a man of the cloth in their eyes. He handed his shotgun over to one of the men and declared in the voice he so often used in Church, "I am on my way to the South, away from you fools. There a man knows his place in this evil world. Protect your half breed boy. The Devil can trick a man in believing he is doing God's will while the whole time he is doing evil."
   By then, someone had brought out cross eyed's palomino from the barn, saddled and ready to go.
   The look of pure shock on cross eyed's face was more than Runnin' Jimmy could bear. He laughed like a tickled babe on Christmas morn'.
   Cross eyed already had the reigns twisted in his hand by then but before he could saddle up, Runnin' Jimmy ran to the palomino and slapped it's rump like he was awakenin' that newborn.
   That pony kicked its hind legs so high, I swear, Lord forgive me, it could have reached the stars! Then off it ran into the darkness and all you could hear from the half draggin', half runnin', green eyed, cross eyed John was, "Stop Miss Mable, stop!"
   Uh-Oh, here comin' Aunt Mary.
   Oh Jimmy, I heard you swear to those words in your story. If you didn't ask the Lord to forgive you I would have been here to slap that smile right off your face. Pickle-laided? And why does the story get more fables to it as you tell it over and over? Naked as a mole rat. Someday Jimmy, you will be struck by lightning if you keep adding myth to your telling.
   Ah woman. The children like it.
   Now children go clean up so we can say our prayers. The men folk are almost done with the barn raising. Now go!

 This is,

Channeling A Previous Life

Jim Hauenstein

And

“I swear, either I’ve done something very wrong in a previous life, or I’m saving up all of my karma for a rainy day.”
- Andrew James Pritchard -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I would love to hear from you

Thanks for reading

 

Be kind to everyone

 

I'll be seeing you

 

Mountain Pass

   I was told not to try and tread over the mountain at this time of day. They were right, I know. Darkness does come early this time of year.

   There also was that old man in the village. He said he could feel a storm coming on. But at the time, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
   Yet now, I am stepping hard against a strong headwind mixed with a wet type of snow. A heavy snow. Where each flake is just now freezing, at this high of an altitude. Packing a layer of moister on everything it touches.
   Each step feels like I have an extra five pounds on my legs with all of this freezing snow covering my pants and boots. But I must continue on. I need to get the medicine back to my family on the other side of the pass. They are counting on me.
   Just what I need. The wind is steadily picking up strength. I wipe off the snow from my pants legs and boots. Still, seconds later, the icy wet flakes are covering me like a white soaked jump suite.
   I must carry on though. I have to carry on. It's my families only hope. They need the medicine I carry.
   I am up another thousand feet of altitude. I am worried that the heavy wet snow will slide down the already packed layer underneath and start an avalanche.
   Up here, with me being the only person out here in this weather, who would hear my cries of help if I became buried alive.
   How could they even find me.
   I probably would survive the initial burial by the avalanche. You can breath when you are in the middle of a ton of snow. There is a lot of air between each snowflake, but as more wet snow falls, the icy stuff around me would pack in harder and harder. Pressing a heavy weight on my chest. Eventual, making it impossible for me to move a muscle and breath.
   I would suffocate before anyone even missed me and sent out a rescue party.
   At least I don't have to worry about bears or wolfs. They are smart enough to be in a shelter by now, from this weather.
   It's getting too hard to go any further. The wind is too strong and I am soaked to the bone from the wet snow. Sorry my loved ones. I have to make a shelter or I won't make it home at all.
   The secret to making an igloo, is digging as far as you can to the ground. Using the packed snow you dig out as blocks, to make the dome portion of your shelter.
   My hands are freezing.
   I can't stop.
   I need a shelter from this storm so I can bring home the medicine to my loved ones!

   "Jason, it's time to come in now." Says a woman in her late thirties.
   "Oh Mom. I just started to make my fort out of snow." Replies the son of the woman.
   "Get in here now and take a bath. You know you start school tomorrow and I don't want you getting sick from playing in the back yard in that dirty wet snow." A determined mother says.

   Sorry family. I can't make it in this weather. I won't be bringing you the medicine. I'll never make it over this mountain pass alive. I am freezing to death. I'll see you again, in Nirvana.

This is,

Having A Child's Imagination

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Fairy tales were the door to the world of imagination for me as a child, that land I often lived in when real life wasn’t quite enough.”
- Regan Walker -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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A Couple Of Thoughts

Just a couple of thoughts off the top of my head.

What happened to

Anonymous?

 

Normally,

I would have high-lighted the hacktivist's name

and hooked it up to a link so you could see for yourself what they are doing.

What I found on their web-page was a link to a new web-page,

which was full of

Advertisements.

Does this sound like a

Hacker Group

or a money hungry web-master trying to cash in on their fame?

I have written favorably in the past about

Anonymous

on

Posts

such as

"Anonymous," 

This Anonymous Comments On My Blog,

Anonymously Anonymous,

and

Where The Hack Is Anonymous?

But lately,

I haven't heard anything about them since they threatened

Donald Trump

and didn't follow through on it.

I like

Anonymous

when they fight for the little guy.

I like when they stand up to

Big Business

and

Corrupt Governments.

We need someone on our side fighting those two big entities

or they will win out in the end

and this world will truly become

The Haves & The Haves Not.

On my

Post

called

Time Escapes Tours,

 

a person wrote under the guise of

Anonymous,

with no relations to the hacker group,

criticizing a mistake I made in my story. 

Anonymous August 21, 2017 at 8:21 AM

"Maybe you can write a story about the proper use of There and Their."

I went back

and read over my story,

Time Escapes Tours

 and found only one instance where I made the mistake of using the word

"there"

to show possession

or ownership of.

If I have made more mistakes in my writing,

please point them out to me.

When I write a story,

I do it in one sitting

and I am trying to type as fast as my mind is thinking up the words.

I don't mind

Constructive Criticism

if it is not done in a bullying

or downgrading manner.

I can use the help.

This is,

 Asking For Help In More Then One Direction

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
- Marcus Aurelius, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

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Why Am I So Happy?

This is a

Re-Post
of
It Takes Up All Your Precious Time!

from

August 15, 2015.

I recently gave a

Lyft

ride to an old friend who I have not seen in seven years.

Because five of those years he spent in jail.

He claims he is sober now

and is going to stay that way.

I told him how happy I am right now in my life

and the reasons for it.

I thought bringing back this

Post

would help explain where I am at.

****

First,
I would like that my kids,
other family members,
not read this
Post. 
Because,
I do not feel like being judged for what I am about to reveal here today.

Second,
I am not writing this
Post,
because I feel
Regret
for the things that I have done in my life.

On the contrary,
I taught myself a long time ago,
not to regret the decisions I have made over the years,
because they are a part of my life
and they make me who I am.

Everybody makes mistakes in life.
If you learn from them
and grow as a person,
you become a better individual because of them.
With that said,
I have learned that doing drugs,
will use up a lot of time in your life.
Time,
that you can be putting to better use.
Now,
don't let your imagination go wild,
thinking I'm addicted to heroin
or something like that.
I'm not.

I have never tried it
and I plan on never trying it.
I am talking about any addictive drug like,
Coffee,
Cigarettes,
Alcohol,
Pot,
Speed,
Acid,
Downers,
Meth,
and so on.

I am going to be talking about alcohol,
because that is the most widely used drug that I know of.

This lesson can be associated with any drug though.
I was mainly a pot head
and alcoholic.

Drinking alcohol,
took up so much of my time,
out of my day,
that I had little time for anything else.
Meaning I had little time for
Relationships,
Family,
and
Friends.

Think about it.

The
First
thing that takes time away from your life when you are drinking,
is finding the money to buy it.
So you either have to earn some money,
borrow some money,
or steal some money.

Second,
once you have the money,
you have to travel to whatever location there is to purchase the Alcohol.
Liquor store,
grocery store,
gas station,
and so on.

Third,
you have to drink the alcohol.
With most people,
that involves getting drunk,
instead of just drinking socially.

Fourth,
you have to sleep it off.

Fifth,
you have to recover from whatever level of buzz you achieved the day or night before.
Meaning,
some people wake up with hangovers they have to deal with,
or others are so exhausted they can't get out of bed.

Sixth,
which is a whole category of it's own,
but must be mentioned here,
you have to pay retribution for any mistakes you made while drinking the alcohol.

Like court fines and jail time!
The friends you hurt.
The ruined relationships.
The Family who wants to disown you.

And if that isn't hard enough,
try rapping your drug use around going to school
or working at a job.
Then,
you even have less time to drink your alcohol.
Which seems to have the effect of convincing some people that they have to hurry up
and get wasted because they don't have,
"Enough time to get buzzed!"
Some of you,

will have to pay your own bills,
buy your own food,
and pay your own rent.
Leaving less money for alcohol,

and less time to get buzzed.
I'm not going to sit here
and say I could have been a great musician
or a great writer if I didn't drink alcohol.

I'm saying I could have been a lot better at these things,
if I used the time I spent on drinking to get drunk,
on perfecting those crafts I enjoy.

I still play guitar
and I still write short stories.
Check out some of my writings under the heading,
"Short Stories & Flash Fiction."

But,
I do them for my own enjoyment now.
I know I could have been better at them if I had practiced more
and took lessons from a good guitar player
or went back to school to learn how to become a better writer.
No regrets though.

Because I have had one
Hell
of a life
and plan on having a lot more of it.

Alcohol made me feel old at the age 24,
and lazy where I thought,
"Is this as good as it gets?"
I made about a million dollars from age of 16 to 31 years old.

Recovered from trying to drink myself to death
and made about two million dollars from age 36 to 53 years old.
I raised seven wonderful children during that second period of my life
and I needed every penny to do it.

Being sober,
I find that I am happier now with my life since I was a child.

I'm happy because of my kids.
Even though I bore them,
I love watching them grow up,
having children of their own,
and learning about life in their own way.
See,
I told you I have one
Hell
of a life.
So,
if you think you still want to party,
learn a lesson the Greeks always say,

This is,
After All That,
I Wouldn't Change A Thing In My Life,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Somebody should have warned the Trojans. Beware of gifts bearing Greeks.”
- David Gerrold, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Sign up as a Follower,
or Set up my Blog as your Homepage
on your Web-Browser,
or Leave a Comment,
or a Suggestion,
and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Time Escapes Tours

   "Everyone, back in the capsule, now!" Barks the agitated Tour Director, at the fifteen passengers under his watch. It is always something on these trips that upsets his constitution to the point where he wants to quit and go back to the quite life. But he quit his boring teaching job to do this. Have adventures in his life and take control of his own future.
   Since he is the sole authority on this "Time Escapes Tours'," time capsule, the power granted to him by the charter the Government gave to his tour agency, Barney Humble likes to think of himself as the Captain on these voyages. The man in charge. The only person who can order the affluent around, with no questions asked. The person who teaches these aristocrats what is the difference between an extinct frog and an extinct toad on these time skirmishes.
   Sure, all of these voyages are sent back in time, but that is what the Government allows.
   There is only one Tour Agency in the World with a charter to use time travel. No one can travel into the future since the "World Accord," was written by the Governments from the year 2121 and the Governments from the year 2334. It mandated that only preventive global extinction needs and humanitarian needs would allow special envoys to go into the future.
   The governments of the year 2334 were intelligent enough, knowing that time travelers were coming, not to give any advance military secrets or technology to any one group. In essence, stopping a time war from happening before it could happen.
   Where groups of advanced militia type personnel, would try to go back in time, further then their opponents, to eliminate those opponents before they went back in time further and eliminated the first group.
   More frightening to the futuristic Governments, was bringing back weaponry into their past, which might fall into the wrong hands and be reversed engineered. Changing the Time Warrior's and their Government's future. No longer having the same present, as when the Militia left.
   No one wanted a future so drastically changed by advanced technology falling into a less intelligent human species, that their government, way of life, or their lives themselves be lost forever because of an alternating past. Which probably meant, their type of future no longer existed.
   "No way am I letting that corpse of a Velociraptor onto my capsule." Says Captain Humble to Earnest Nathanial Agnew. One of the richest men in the world, and the one holding a crossbow, fully loaded.
   "You will do exactly that Tour Guide. I paid a lot of money to a lot of people to get my trophy, and don't think I could care less if you live or die because of your ethics." Answers Earnest, as he slowly raises the crossbow so the arrow points at Humble's chest.
   "How did you get a weapon on board in the first place?" Questions Barney Humble. "The computers should have picked it up immediately?"
   "That's why I paid a lot of money." Smirks Earnest Agnew. "Our computer systems were program for our weaponry of our day, explosive made from the past, and chemicals from any era which could cause a global change. No one dreamed of the earliest man's weapons of stick and stones being deadly. So when the computer saw I was bringing on board pieces of wood, it did not see a potential of a deadly weapon being made."
   "You will never get away with this." Captain Humble says.
   "But I already have." A delighted Earnest says. "Once we arrive in our time period, guards will be there to arrest you for criminal acts of treason against our Government, as it will be you who is framed for the weapon which was brought on board. I will be able to keep my trophy and you will spend the rest of your life in jail."
   "I'll tell the truth. Everyone will know it was really you who brought the crossbow onto the capsule." An obvious agitated Barney Humble says.
   "You will never get your day in court Tour Guide." Smiles Agnew. "Now let's get back to our time so I can hang my trophy on a wall!"
   Laughter, from Earnest Nathanial Agnew, can be heard over the hum of a small black hole being formed in the engine room. As time slips faster and faster into the future, his laughter becomes louder and louder.
   When the craft stops at the correct time line, Agnew's laughter stops at the same moment.
   "Open the door Tour Guide. It is time to meet your fate!"
   When the door opens, there is a surprise waiting for all of them.
   "Earnest Nathanial Agnew, I arrest you under the Parent-Teacher's Association law of 2013, where it is illegal to kill any living species, future, present, or past. All of your worldly possessions will be confiscated, and your life story stricken from the history books." A small, bespectacled gentleman says.
   "Wait, no!" Cries a confused Agnew. "Where are my guards? Where are my men? I paid a lot of money for my trophy and I am not going to stand for this."
   "Take him away." Says the head of the Worlds governing body. The PTA.
   He now looks to the Tour Director, Captain Humble.
   "Mister Barney Humble. May I be the first to welcome you to a new time line that you've created. After a World Conference feed broadcast to the masses, we will have a pot luck dinner in your honor, so you can instill in us the courage it took to stand by your ethnics and lead us into this new world order."

 

 This is,

It Could Happen

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"It starts innocently. Casually. You turn up at the annual spring fair full of beans, help with the raffle tickets (because the pretty red-haired music teacher asks you to) and win a bottle of whiskey (all school raffles are fixed), and, before you know where you are, you're turning up at the weekly school council meetings, organizing concerts, discussing plans for a new music department, donating funds for the rejuvenation of the water fountains—you're implicated in the school, you're involved in it. Sooner or later you stop dropping your children at the school gates. You start following them in."
- Zadie Smith -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Sign up as a Follower,

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on your Web-Browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Have You Met Laryn? He Will Leave You Speechless!

If you have followed me over the years,

you would have seen a recurrence happening in my life.

I become ill more than I would like.

From my childhood days of having

Thunderclap Headaches,

to my

High School Days

of having

Osgood-Schlatter Disease,

to today where I am dealing with

COPD.

This week was a first for me though,

I came down with

Laryngitis.

Still recovering

and I am extremely tired.

So,

I will have to put on hold this week's

Episode

of

The Man From Mars.

I will continue it next

Thursday

of course

and I believe you will like the new adversary I am going to introduce to battle Ponleak,

The Man From Mars.

 

This is,

Reminding You Early About The Eclipse On Monday

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Why is it that showers and even storms seem to come by chance, so that many people think it quite natural to pray for rain or fine weather, though they would consider it ridiculous to ask for an eclipse by prayer?”
- Henri Poincaré, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog as your Homepage

on your Web-Browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

 

Enjoying A Child's Mind On Transformers The Second Time Around

 This true to life story was written on
October 18th, 2014.
I love the innocence
and wonder children have of the World.
What age do we lose those qualities
and become robots to routine? 

****

Two nights ago our electricity went out,
twice during the night,
but it quickly came back on both times.

I saw on the news that a transformer in our downtown area had blown
and the
Electric Company
rerouted power from another direction.
My five year old
Grandson
asked me what had happened
and I said,
"A transformer blew and killed all our lights."
He then asked,
"With no lights, will the Transformer step on us?"

Get it?
The movie
Transformers!

He honestly looked scared until I explained things further.

This is
Papa James Grandpa Hauenstein,

And,

“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings”
- Optimus Prime -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,
or Set up my Blog as your Homepage
on your Web-Browser,
or Leave a Comment,
or a Suggestion,
and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.
 

Catching Up On My Comments

I am always amazed by how many people look back at some of my old

Posts

and

Comment

on them.

One of the most popular

Posts

I have written is called

Oppai Cell Phone Cover.

The

Post

discusses two items being sold in

Japan

back in 2016.

The

Oppai Cover

and the

Noiseless Karaoke Mute Mic.

Both hot items in the

Asian

market.

A new

Commentator

chimed in last week on this

Post

saying,

kimlay August 5, 2017 at 9:47 AM

nice article great post comment information thanks for sharing ทองดีฟันขาว 

Kimlay 

is a new

Blogger

so I hope to see good things coming from her real soon.

The

ทองดีฟันขาว 

actually brings you to a

Link

called

Review Thai Movies.

And the first movie being reviewed is called

Driver.

It must be good if

Kimlay

recommends it!

In honor of

Kimlay Commenting

on one of my

Posts,

here are three jokes from

Thailand.

Q: อะไรเอ่ย เวลาเรายืนมันห้อย เวลาเราเดินมันแกว่ง?
What is it? When you stand it hangs; when you walk it swings?
A: แขน
Your arm.This is a major theme among the type of joke known as อะไรเอ่ย--jokes with intentional innuendo but an innocuous punchline. The อะไรเอ่ย style joke is as well known in Thai as the "knock-knock joke" in English. And we have plenty of these อะไรเอ่ย-style jokes in English, usually with the structure "What ...", as in, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over?" (A newspaper, a sunburned penguin, etc.) We just don't have a category name for them like we do for knock-knock jokes. And English also has plenty with innuendo, too (but good taste restrains me from retelling them here).

Q: ยายพายเรือไปทำบุญที่วัด ปรากฏว่าเรือรั่วและกำลังจะจม ยายต้องเสียสละทิ้งของ สองอย่างระหว่างปิ่นโตกับดอกไม้ ถามว่ายายจะเสียอะไรจึงจะไปถึงวัด แน่ๆ?
An old woman rows a boat to the temple to make merit. The boat has a leak and is about to capsize. The old woman has to decide between two things to throw overboard: a lunchbox* or a flower. What will the old woman sacrifice to make sure she gets to the temple?
A: เสียชีวิตสิ ถึงวัดแน่นอน
Her life. She'll get to the temple for sure!
The translation here works okay, although to sacrifice your life has a different connotation in English. Thai on the other hand has the common euphemism for die เสียชีวิต, to lose your life. The Thai word for sacrifice is เสียสละ, hence the joke.

Q: พระใช้อะไรตีระฆัง?
What does a monk use to ring the temple bell?
A: ใช้เณร
A novice.
This is a play on ใช้, which means to use, but also to have someone do something for you (it doesn't carry the same inherently negative connotation as English, like, "you used me.") To say ผมใช้เขาไปซื้อของที่ตลาด is to say, roughly, "I sent him to buy things (for me) at the market." So in this case, what does a monk use to ring the temple bell? A novice--one of the young boy monks at the monastery. It's all about delegation.

This is,

Looks Like A Great Place To Take A Vacation,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Having never taken a decent holiday before, I decided on a trip to Thailand, booked a flight and flew out the following week. Mate, I loved it. The friendly people, the food, and the view!”
- Simon Palmer -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog as your Homepage

on your Web-Browser,

or Leave a Suggestion,

or a Comment,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

 

The Man From Mars - Episode Twenty Five

   The Scientific Compound, where Chief of Security Officer Vice President Ponleak set up shop for his Space Program, had buildings which looked other-worldly on Atlantis compared to the rest of the planet.
   His buildings had the look of early Roman texture. Masonry of cut stone blocks, formed to create beautiful efficient structures, instead of the Mars clay plastered, layer upon layer, to form an architecture of molded design.

 

   The use of steel was quite prevalent too. A metal structure was holding up, what looked liked an old United States Saturn 5 Capsule, but without the huge rocket to carry it up into space.
   It looked like it was already prepped and ready for launching.
   The only way I can describe its shape, comparing it to the old Saturn 5 capsules, would be if you had just purchased a new large size shower head. Before you connected to the plumbing.
   It was round, with a flat top. It had a straight, thirty foot part that looked like the screw portion of a shower head that would attach to the plumbing. Then it coned out aggressively, with a slightly curved bottom.
    And even I knew, whatever they used to protect the curved bottom, it would absorb all of the heat caused by hitting the molecules of an exosphere and then descending through the rest of a planet's atmosphere.
   Unlike the the Earth's cone shaped crafts of the early 1960s, which barely fit two astronauts, the Atlantean craft was large enough to fit a small colony. Maybe thirty to thirty five passengers. With enough room for food and provisions to colonize a new planet.

   I knew by looking at it, given this was a reverie from Ponleak past, that the technology used for space flight for this Atlantean space ship was based on magnetism.
   And I knew, from the knowledge that both I and Ponleak now shared through his dreams, that magnetic forces were throughout our solar system.

   All of our planets, in our Sun's system, have magnetic fields during this time, in the solar system's evolution. A time before Mars and Venus lost theirs.
   Before the core of those planets stopped rotating, or to other forces I am not yet privy to.
   Jupiter, of course has the strongest field amongst the planets, but not known until recently to scientist on the planet Earth, the Sun's magnetic field reaches to the edge of our solar system. And unlike what you were taught in school, the solar system does not end with the planets, it extends even further, beyond the Kuiper belt.

   A region in the outer reaches of our solar system, full of disc-shaped icy bodies and dusty comets beyond the orbit of Neptune.

   The Sun's magnetic field protects even these unbelievable far off celestial bodies from galactic cosmic radiation. The heliosphere, as mankind has named it, is the magnetic lines in which the Ponleak spacecraft travels.
    I walk onto my compound, with security guards saluting me every where I go. Security Officer Bopha runs up to me and briefs me on the situation at the building for scientific study, while we walk towards it.
   As soon as we are in sight of the building, one of the hostages is thrown from a fourth floor balcony, and falls to his death. Screams of horrific shock and anger can be heard from the men and women scientist looking on, and from the security guards standing near the fallen victim.
   It seems, hostage taking is something quite new here on Atlantis. The shock of someone actually killing someone else, who is bound by ties and completely defenseless, is appalling to the spectators.
   From the balcony, one Atlantean stands forward, dressed in the uniform of the Board Member's Security Team.
   "Ponleak. You can see we mean business." Says the lone Guard. "We will kill one hostage every Atlantean hour if our demands are not met."
   I spoke in a calm and judicial manner, when I said, "What will you bargain with once you have killed all of the hostages then?"
   He was stunned by my question. Something he and the group he represented, were not expecting.
   He stood there, confused.
   So I spoke up again.
   "I have a different offer. I will let you and your men live if you release the rest of hostages unharmed."
    He retreated behind the rail of the balcony without saying a word. I assume to speak to his compatriots.
    Everyone on the ground watching could hear as a heated argument pursued from the fourth floor balcony.
   The lone Guard was losing his command.

To Be Continued...

Next Thursday.

This is,

Wondering How The Hostage Situation Will Work Out,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“There is a flower that grows on Mars. It is red and harsh and fit for our soil. It is called haemanthus. It means “blood blossom.”
- Pierce Brown, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog as your Homepage

on your Web-Browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Beetle Spies - The Re-Post

This is a reprint of an
April 26th, 2014
Post
I wrote,
about the
NSA
spying on its own citizens.

*****
I was wondering why this beetle kept flying around my head all day.

The beetle had a
World War Two Flying Ace
type of helmet on.

Wires ran out of his head into a little black box on its back.

I believe I saw a little camera on the underbelly of the insect.

One time the bug flew so close to my face,
that I'm sure I saw an
American Flag
stamped on it's butt!

NSA,
stop spying on me!

I'm a
Red Blooded American.

I vote.

I pay taxes.

I do jury duty even though I don't like it.

I know who the
President
is.

I know who the
Governor
in
California.

I know how the
Electoral College
works.

You are systematically working to take away our Civil Rights.

I know this too.

All in the name of fighting
Terrorists.

Well,
there ain't no
Terrorists
here,
living in my home.

I love this country,
even when it is trending down the wrong track.

Like when a
Government
spies on its own citizens.

Democracy
is based on the individual having his
or her own voice on what they believe in.

Then,
if the majority has the same consensuses,
that is the direction the
Country
should go in.

Now you guys,
a minority,
feel that you know what is best for everyone else in this Country,
the majority.

You are destroying the
Democratic System
that made the
United States
the land of the free!

Why everyone is trying to migrate to this
Country
in the first place.

Wake up
and smell the espionage!

You are no longer the
Good Guys.

You're making this
Government
into another
Communist,
Fascist,
Nazi,
Dictatorship,
Totalitarian,
Marxist,
North Korean,
based system that can only end in disaster.

Don't get me wrong.
The
Revolution
will fail
and you guys will win in the end.

You've got all the good guns!
But,
maybe it will lead us back into the direction of
The Land Of The Free!

 

This is,
Telling You The Military Does Have Insect Spies,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“A murderer is less loathsome to us than a spy. The murderer may have acted on a sudden mad impulse; he may be penitent and amend; but a spy is always a spy, night and day, in bed, at table, as he walks abroad; his vileness pervades every moment of his life”
- Honoré de Balzac -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog as your Homepage

on your Web-Browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.