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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

I Hope I At Least Made You Laugh

Kids,
you have to love them right?
Well,
my granddaughter,
who will remain nameless,
but lives in the
State Of New York,
on her last visit asked me if I wanted a peanut-butter,
jelly,
and graham cracker sandwich?
"Grandpa, I made it myself."
She is only 3 years old,
so I thought,
how cute,
and popped it in my mouth.
"Grandpa, do you want to know how I made it?"
That is when I hesitated,
but said,
"Maybe?"
"First, I got out two crackers."
So far so good.
"Then I got out some peanuts from out of their shells."
Wait a second.
"Then I got some raisins out of the box."
"OK?"
I said.
"Then I chewed the peanuts until they were soft and put it on one cracker. Chewed the raisins until they were soft and put them on the other cracker and gave it to you."
I was just about to regurgitate the little sandwich I had just eaten,
when she asked with the biggest smile on her face,
"Do you want another one?"

What do you call a fifty year old bachelor? Alone!

I never wanted to be that fifty year old bachelor, so I did what all good Christian Men do.
I surrendered to the first women who would put up with me and got married!

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

This is,
Had To Take My Car In For Repairs So I Did Not Have Time To Prepare A Story For Today,
So I Hope I At Least Made You Laugh,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I went for a walk last night and my girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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