I Hope I At Least Made You Laugh

Kids,

you have to love them right?

Well,

my granddaughter,

who will remain nameless,

but lives in the

State Of New York,

on her last visit asked me if I wanted a peanut-butter,

jelly,

and graham cracker sandwich?

"Grandpa, I made it myself."

She is only 3 years old,

so I thought,

how cute,

and popped it in my mouth.

"Grandpa, do you want to know how I made it?"

That is when I hesitated,

but said,

"Maybe?"

"First, I got out two crackers."

So far so good.

"Then I got out some peanuts from out of their shells."

Wait a second.

"Then I got some raisins out of the box."

"OK?"

I said.

"Then I chewed the peanuts until they were soft and put it on one cracker. Chewed the raisins until they were soft and put them on the other cracker and gave it to you."

I was just about to regurgitate the little sandwich I had just eaten,

when she asked with the biggest smile on her face,

"Do you want another one?"

What do you call a fifty year old bachelor? Alone!

I never wanted to be that fifty year old bachelor, so I did what all good Christian Men do.

I surrendered to the first women who would put up with me and got married!

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

This is,

Had To Take My Car In For Repairs So I Did Not Have Time To Prepare A Story For Today,

So I Hope I At Least Made You Laugh,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I went for a walk last night and my girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.”

- Steven Wright -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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