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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Saturday, May 1, 2021

An Arachnid Love Story

  I'm not quite ready to start writing again, 
but in celebrating of my grandson coming to visit me this weekend I am re-posting a fictional story I wrote about him back on 
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
called 
***** 

   When you have kids, they all grow up differently.
   I had one daughter, my first, who I had to wrap my arms around to keep her from running away or squirming when she got her vaccination shots as a child.
   Then my fourth daughter would just sit there and stare as a nurse put the needle into her arm. Never flinching.
   So when I recently came back from my vacation from Texas, I thought nothing of it when my grandson took out his mason jar of new spiders he had captured.
   You see, he isn't afraid of any spider on Earth.
   When his Aunts ask him to squish a spider they see, he won't do it. He will take out a mason jar, capture it, then let it go free outside.
   Driving, I pretended I saw what he was showing me with a quick glance over my shoulder since he was sitting in his booster seat in the back. After that, I forgot all about it.
   It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago, that I found out exactly what he was trying to show me. I know he feeds his spiders dead ants. He will kill those, but I never realized how many spiders he was feeding.
   The nightmare happened when we had a forced entry by an escaped convict one night.
   The convict grabbed my grandson at knife point and told me that if the police come to the door, I had better find a way to get rid of them, or he would die!
   It just so happens a few days before, the community mailbox sitting in front of our house was broken into. I called the police about the incident and a Sheriff came to my door for a statement. We got along fine, shook hands when he departed, and I never expected to see him again. He was the officer who came to my door asking if I had heard or seen anything suspicious relating to an escaped convict.
   We got along so well before that when I said I hadn't, he took my word for it and went on to the next house.
   That is when I heard a scream. Not from my grandson, it was from the intruder.
   The hand he held the knife with? It was covered with about fifty spiders. Another fifty or so were crawling all over his body.
   He screamed again and pleaded for me to call back the officer, so I did.
   I found out later, that this felon, would never be able to have children of his own in his life, because of all the poison released inside his body that day.
   In fact, he is lucky to still be alive. The hand which held the knife to my grandson's throat, he lost part of that arm, from the elbow on down.
   The police have no way of explaining what happened. But a local college professor claimed that he knew the answer.
   The felon had probably hidden in some nearby bushes and when he had entered my home unlawfully, the spiders were finally taking action against him for invading those bushes.
   But I know the truth.
   My grandson now has five of those glass habitats for insects and I let him collect as many ants and other bugs as he can, as feeders.
   I don't need a handgun in my house and worry about break-ins anymore. I have over two-hundred brown recluse spiders living in my home and the child they love.

This is,
If You Do Not Believe Me,
Piss Off My Grandson Someday,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“They made for his noise far quicker than he had expected. They were frightfully angry. Quite apart from the stones no spider has ever like being called Attercop, and Tomnoddy of course, is insulting to anybody.”
- J.R.R. Tolkien, -
 
That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!
 
 

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