More Fiction Stories Soon

That I haven't kept up with my

Blog.

It's because my computer is in the shop.

I know,
I should have fixed it myself but I am so tired of working on other people's computer that now I hate doing it.

The only time I get to work on the

Blog

is when I go to the library.

But it seems,

the more time I have,

the more things I have to do during the day.

I still can't figure out why that happens!

Oh well.

I will be more consistent once I get it back.

Please be patient.
Read some of my
Flash Fiction,
Poems,
or watch 1 of my
Music Videos
I already have here on my
Blog.

I'm sure that I will come up with new exciting ideas for more

Fiction Stories

soon!


This is,
Brainstorming As I Write,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“There's an old saying that great writing is simple but not easy, and so it is. The search for that one plain but in-obvious word that will do the work of five, the agony of untangling a complex idea that has become a mess of phrases in the writer's mind, the willingness to keep doing it over and over again until it is right--all of that plus some luck yields prose so clear that it seems a child could have written it.”  

- William Souder -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
 If it's worthy enough, 
I'll answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Happiness Is A State Of Mind

I was thinking all day yesterday,

what I was going to write about?

Yet,

I couldn't come up with a decent idea worthy of somebody wanting to read it.

Then,

I was given the story I was looking for.

At two-thirty this morning,

I was awakened by a loud motorcycle revving its engine,

and the noisy voices of my drunk next door neighbor

and his friend.

This is the same person who constantly calls the

Police

on me for the slightest noise at my house.

He takes pictures of the cars that drive up to my house,

and apparently,

gives those photos to the

Officer,

who is dispatched to investigate the complaint.

This is supposedly proof that I am either some kind of

Terrorist,

organizing a plot against humanity,

or I am an exotic animal smuggler,

selling unregistered

Monkeys

to the highest bidder.

Of course,

the

Police

do not take him seriously,

because he himself is a wack job.

They haven't even bothered to knock on my door to question me.

He is in the same category of,

Human Beings,

who will leave notes on your car window,

telling you,

what you are doing wrong in life.

Or,

if he sees you,

he will tell you,

that the parking spot in front of his house,

is his alone,

and for no one else.

He will say ignorant things like,

"It is illegal for you to park there. I am the only one aloud to park there!"

Once,

a couple years back,

when this girl started making a U-turn in front of me,

right in front of his house,

I hit her head on.

He came to his front door when the

Police

arrived,

and started yelling that I had contraband in the trunk of my car

and they should arrest me.

First,

the

Police

said the accident was the girl's fault because she was on her

Cell Phone.

Second,

she didn't look for oncoming traffic before pulling away from the curb.

Third,

this neighbor of mine,

wasn't even brave enough to come outside of his home to accuse me of

Drug Smuggling.

He stayed behind a locked screen door so the

Police

would not arrest him for being a

Public Nuisance.

Fourth,

the

Officer

at the scene of the accident asked me

if I wanted him to have a word with my neighbor

and if he could draw him outside,

maybe he could arrest him for

Disturbing The Peace.

Because of his constant use of profanity towards me,

that the whole neighborhood could hear.

I said no,

because after he was released,

he would be worse with his belligerence,

when he knew the

Police

were not around.

You see,

I have kids,

and as long as he directs his anger towards me,

and not them,

I can put up with it.

  I feel sorry for the poor fellow.

It must be awful to go through life angry all the time.

I think he picks on his neighbors,

to make himself feel better.

Yet,

I have never seen him enjoy himself,

or be happy.

Except when he is drunk.

He is always complaining

or mad about something.

It must really piss him off that his wife,

which he seems to fight with on a regular basis,

is neighborly towards me.

I'm such a nice guy.

She just cannot help herself.

But,

I guess,

he sees me as a threat since I am not miserable like he is.

To change,

to

"Be Happy,"

he needs to stop worrying about me,

and everyone else in the neighborhood!

He needs to worry about taking care of his family,

and treating them with respect.

Then,

maybe happiness,

might be able to creep inside his

Mind,

Heart,

and

Soul.

This is,
I Am So Glad That I Found The Secret To Happiness,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I Was Cool Once

I was watching 1 of my grandsons this past weekend when he said something that I thought was kind of funny.

I have to give you a little back story so you can understand what happened.

Last

Christmas

he got a

Gold Necklace,

with a diamond studded

Cross

attached to it,

from his

Aunt.

He is only 10 years old.

When he was about to leave to go home with his father,

I said,

"Don't forget your Bling."

Then he said, 
"You can't say that grandpa. You're too old!"
My reaction to that was to say,
"What do you mean? I'm cool."
He looked at me
and smiled.
"Grandpa, you where never cool!"
Laughing I said,
"I was cool once."
Now he was laughing
and he finishes by saying,
"Nobody was cool back in the olden days!"

This is,

I Never Wore The Bling But I Was Cool In My Day,

Really,

I Was,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I love my grandpa and respect him.”
- Chynna Weber -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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 If it's worthy enough, 
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Thanks for reading.

Blinded By Science

This is an updated version of the 
Periodic Table Song

written

and performed by

AsapSCIENCE.

Remember kids.

Unlike in

Mathematics,

two negatives in

Chemistry

does not make a positive!

Mixing

Ammonia

and

Bleach

together,

which are considered two negative compounds in

Chemistry,

releases an odorless,

colorless gas that is highly toxic.

It will actually burn your lungs from the inside out!

That is our

Chemistry Lesson

for today.

This is,

Blinded By Science,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

Why The Warning?
Because Someone I knew Did This To Himself
And Died.

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
- Isaac Asimov -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I did not kiss her derriere!

I'm the proud
Papa
of seven children.

I started having kids late in life though.

Which means,

my last three children were born 1 year apart from each other.

Meaning,

I had three kids in diapers at the same time!

The oldest of the three was a little instigator.

Always daring the younger two to do something funny
or foolish.

While she sat back
and watched.

Like all parents,

whenever my kids got an 
owie,

I would say,

"Should I kiss it to make it feel better?"

Kids all over the
World
believe if there parents kiss their

boo-boos,

everything feels so much better.

One evening,

after a long hard day at work,

I came home to find the three little ones watching the 

Disney Channel.

As soon as the eldest saw me,

she leans over,

from her sitting position,

like she was pointing her butt at me

and says,

"Daddy I fell down and hurt my bottom. Will you kiss it and make it feel better?"

All three kids,

still wearing diapers mind you,

started rolling on the living room carpet hysterically.

They wouldn't stop laughing.

That is baby humor at its best.

And no,

I did not kiss her derriere!

This is,

Still Willing To Kiss Boo-Boos If They Ask Me To,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” 

- Rodney Dangerfield -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.

Your Vote Counts - Use It

Every now
and then,

I will hear someone say, 

"My one vote doesn't count." 

If you knew your history,
you might think twice before making that statement.

The election of 1948 was so close at the time that the people at the 

Chicago Tribune 

decided that
Thomas E. Dewey
was going to win.

So they printed a headline in their papers saying he had.
Before the election was over.

Here are some examples of one vote making a difference.

1645: 1 VOTE gave control of England to Oliver Cromwell

1649: 1 VOTE approved the beheading of Kings Charles I

1800: 1 VOTE made Thomas Jefferson president instead of Aaron Burr

1845: 1 VOTE brought Texas into the United States

1850: 1 VOTE admitted California and Oregon into the United States

1868: 1 VOTE saved President Andrew Johnson from Impeachment

1875: 1 VOTE ended the monarchy in France for a voting democracy

1876: 1 VOTE made Rutherford B. Hayes a United States President

1876: 1 VOTE elected the Indiana Electoral College member who voted for Hayes

1923: 1 VOTE placed Adolph Hitler as the leader of the Nazi Party

1941: 1 VOTE kept the military draft operational just weeks before Pearl Harbor

1992: 1 VOTE selected a member of the Town Council of Trinity, Alabama

1992: 1 VOTE decided the final member of the Selma, Alabama city council

How decisions that change history are determined by just a few votes.

1788: 3 VOTES ratified the U.S. Constitution in New York

1790: 2 VOTES ratified the U.S. Constitution in Rhode Island, making it approved in all 13 states

1960: 1 VOTE changed in each precinct would have defeated John Kennedy

1976: 1 VOTE changed in each Ohio precinct would have elected Gerald Ford and not Jimmy Carter

1993: 1 VOTE by Al Gore approved the largest tax increase in American history

If you want to find more up to date examples,

you need to do your own research.

I'm tired of typing examples to prove my point.

My other point is,

"Ask what you can do for your country!"

I have a solution just for those who feel it is too hard to get involved.

We the People, your voice in our Government.

A great website where you can get involved.

It has everything the 

Laziest Couch Potato 

could want to have on deciding the issues of today.

It's right at your fingertips

and your keyboard.

The main reason I like the website is because this is where I was able to sign a petition which I feel effects us all.

Here,

you can search through all the

Open Petitions

going on right now

and sign the ones that affect your life.
Or you can start a petition of your own if you feel there is something that needs to be addressed. 

Computers 

and the 

Internet 

can be used as wonderful tools in the right hands. 

Now take a stand, 

take ten minutes away from playing games, 

social networking, 

or shall I say it, 

you favorite porn sites 

and 

Feel the Power of Participating 

by 

Doing Something For Your Country!

This is,

I Don't Just Talk About The Issues - I Petition On What I Feel Is Right,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'” - Issac Asimov -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

I Rant And Rave About The Political Climate

A lot of times I get away from what I believe is important about
writing my 
Blog.
I forgot my original intent for writing here.
Lately,
I want to 
Rant and Rave 
about the 
Political Climate 
we are in.

 

I could say that I have been baited a few times into my rants,
but I have to take responsibility for my actions.
If you have read some of my 
Posts 
from months
or years gone by,
you would have come across my 
Political View 
more then once
or twice.
I,
like most people in this 
World,
know just enough about 
Politics 
to be 
Dangerous.
I am like all 
Armchair Pundits.
I have my views
and I stand by them. 
Everyone else is wrong!
I'm just kidding about everyone is wrong.
I hope everyone has a view on the 
Issues 
and the 
Candidates 
we are going to be voting for this fall.
But I need to get back to basics
and the first thing I can do to get there is to thank everyone who has
read,
or is reading,
and those who are telling their friends to read my 
Short Story; 
A-L-I-V.
It has quickly become my most read 
Post 
and 
Original Short Story 
since I started writing this 
Blog.
I am going to start writing more 
Stories

again.
Hopefully,
you will enjoy them.
Leave me a 
Comment 
on why you like my story 
A-L-I-V.
I would appreciate it.

This is,
Saying You Should Check Out Other Great Poetry, Short Stories, Flash Fiction, A Novelette, & A Novel You Can Buy, And Music Videos By TwoBuckHowie With The Exact Change On My Blog
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Funny how in a material world full of pundits and economists obsessed with assets, liabilities, and the economy, few speak about the greatest asset of all…YOU.”
- Rasheed Ogunlaru -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

We Need Male Dumb Blond Jokes

I overheard a conversation today between a

Father

and his

Blond Teenage Daughter.

Father, "Did you study for your English exam?"

Daughter, "Dah!"

Father, "OK. What are the vowels in the alphabet?"

Daughter, "ahh...eh...I...oh...you...sometimes?....why? Why Dad? Why are you asking me?"

Father, "Close enough."

A blonde grabbed a large thermos

and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.
She held up the thermos

and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"

the blonde asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos,

hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied,

"Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."
"Oh good!"

the blonde sighed in relief.

"Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

A young woman said to her doctor,

"You have to help me, I hurt all over."
"What do you mean?"

asked the doctor.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger

and yells,

"Ow, that hurts."

Then she touched her left cheek

and again yells,

"Ouch! That hurts, too."

Then she touched her right earlobe.

"Ow, even THAT hurts." 
 The doctor asked the woman, 

"Are you a natural blonde?"
"Why yes,"

she said.
"I thought so,"

said the doctor.

"You have a sprained finger." 

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!" 

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

 Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!!

This is,

You Never See Male Dumb Blond Jokes.

Thank Goodness Too!

I Was A Natural Blond Before I Grew Taller Then My Hairline!

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
- Steve Martin -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Happy Whale

I have never been

Whale Watching

ever since I have been living in

California.

First,

I'll let you in on a little secret.

I hate swimming!

Oh,

I can swim.

That is not the problem.

The problem is,

for some treason,

I don't like the water.

When my kids were little

or when my grandchildren want to go to the beach,

I take them.

I will get wet,

but most of the time I will be sitting under the large umbrella watching everyone to make sure they are

Okay.

I have tried surfing but it is extremely physical.

I have done boogie boarding which is a lot easier.

I've been skiing.

But for some reason,

I just don't care for swimming.

What has this to do with my story for today?

It is my excuse why I haven't gone

Whale Watching.

I don't like being on a boat for hours.

I don't like being under the hot sun for hours.

I rather be typing up a good story,

reading a good book,

or playing with my grand-kids.

With that being said,

my new favorite website is,

Happywhale!

You submit photos of your marine mammal encounters

We identify your whales by their unique markings

Happywhale tracks your whales around the globe

Now this sounds like fun

and I can contribute to their scientific community.

This is,

Going To Try To Go Whale Watching This Year,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"Aye, aye, it must be so. I've over-sailed him. How? Aye, he's chasing me now; not I, him. That's bad."

- Herman Melville -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Presciption Greed

I hope this story is true.

California could be 1st state to sell own prescription drugs

California could become the first state with its own prescription drug label 

 

By  ADAM BEAM Associated Press

Three of my prescriptions have gone up from $0 copay in 2019 to $45 in 2020.

It's not because these drugs cost more to manufacture,

it's because

Drug Manufacturers

are price gouging for higher profits!

By Brit McCandless Farmer & Ayesha Siddiqi on CBSNews.com

"On 60 Minutes, correspondent Bill Whitaker reports on a lawsuit against dozens of generic drug manufacturers. According to the suit, the price of hundreds of generic prescription drugs jumped in a single year—and plaintiffs say the drug makers colluded to do it. Manufacturers have denied allegations of collusion. It's not the first time 60 Minutes has reported on the exorbitant expense of prescription drugs. Last May, correspondent Lesley Stahl reported from Rockford, Illinois, an industrial town that paid the healthcare costs of its employees, rather than use an insurance company.
As Stahl reported, the mayor of Rockford realized his town was bleeding money as their pharmaceutical costs were skyrocketing. He said the costs were keeping him from hiring police and firefighters. "Everybody's asking the question, 'Why is health care so expensive?' Because the fix is in," Rockford's mayor Larry Morrissey said. "That's the answer."
Morrissey said Rockford's prescription spending largely came down to one brand-name drug: Acthar, a drug used to treat a rare condition called infantile spasms. In 2001, Acthar sold for about $40 a vial. By 2018, it sold for more than $40,000—an increase of 100,000 percent.

This is,

 Saying Enough Is Enough

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.”
- Mahatma Gandhi - 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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A Suggestion On A Book I Think You Should Read

I have a suggestion on a book you should read if you are from the United States Of America.

It is called

Red Fighting Blue

by

David A Hopkins

 

He is

Political Scientist

and a

Professor

at

Boston College.

I am sure he doesn't need my help to sell his book but since we are in an election year I thought reading about how our two parties system's ideologies are setup it might help you understand what is going on today.

He doesn't pick a side

or says 1 political party is better than the other.

He tells us how we got to this point in today's political climate.

*****

I find that,
the more time I have because I am retired,
the more I have to do.
I will be busy for the next couple of days but will try writing
something here when I can.

This is,
Thanking You For Your Patience
And Patronage
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.”

- Martin Luther King Jr -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.
 

Finding Extra-Terrestrial Life

It is getting colder outside these days

and when I forgot to put the heat on,

I wake up with a bit of a cold.

So,

I am sure all of you,

whomever you might be,

all do the same thing when you are not feeling good.

You sleep a lot,

On & Off,

all day long.

When I sleep,

I dream,

and from talking to other people,

I am in the minority of folks who remember their dreams.

What set off my dreams today,

was an article I read this morning.

Strange Star has E.T. Seekers looking closely for Signs of Life.
by David Perlmann for SFGate Newspaper.com
"Berkeley astronomers on a new hunt for E.T. are aiming one of the world’s most powerful radio telescopes at the most bizarre star ever detected. They have tuned the big telescope at the Green Bank Observatory in West Virginia to listen for signals from an object in space called Tabby’s Star, whose implausible behavior is puzzling astronomers all over the world. That star might conceivably be a sign that some civilization far more advanced than our own is, or has been, building some kind of giant structure far off in the Milky Way, they say. The Berkeley team has also mobilized a second huge telescope in Australia to search for E.T. signals from another unique star — the closest of all the stars to Earth, just a few trillion miles away. The new push to enlist two of the world’s biggest radio telescopes in the quest for signs of alien life is centered at UC Berkeley in a $100 million effort called Breakthrough Listen, financed by Yuri Milner, the Russian-born physicist and tech billionaire in Silicon Valley."

 It would be wonderful if we found evidence of

Extra-Terrestrial Life
in our lifetime!

Please forgive me,

I'm just not up for writing today
and will try to have something interesting tomorrow.

This is,

Dreaming Of Aliens,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.”
- Ellen DeGeneres -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

cough cough

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Here are some of the Aliens I believe in.