Graffiti, Art, And Lots Of Humor

First,

I would like to tell you about two fantastic artists I have met.

The first one I have talked about before on my

Blog

and especially in one particular Post;

It Makes Life Worth Living.

John,

I cannot say his full name because of the legality of his art,

is a wonderful

Graffiti Artist

but,

who unfortunately can't put up a website of his work since the

Police

would be busting down his door.

I am glad to see how great you are doing John.

The second

Artist

I met when I picked him up as a

Lyft

driver.

Zach Thompson

and I had plenty of time to talk and I believe we are somewhat of a kindred spirit about certain kinds of art.

He does have a website

and a book for sale of his work.

So please check out

vizualzmt.com

His stuff reminded me of the

Anime Fooly Cooly

right off the bat.

 

But today is supposed to be all about the humor.

So here comes the jokes!

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.” He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

I went to see my doctor…I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!”

Folks, the President needs a break. He’s like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil vacuum. If you don’t recharge his batteries, he can’t suck.

I’ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can’t judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?

Now, I don’t see color. People tell me I’m white and I believe them because police officers call me “sir.”

I'm married now, so I don't date much anymore. 

I do need to lose some weight now, I gotta tell ya. I had a threesome last week, and I was all by myself.

Did you know that when a baby poops its diaper, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?

I don't make up jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts!

The problem with a Political joke, is that they get elected.

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients, "What's the matter?" He has got to know!

This is,

Bringing Humor To The Beginning Of Your Weekend,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
- George Carlin -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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