Trying To Kick Your Weekend Off

Do you remember the

Annual Catholic Charity Dinner

in

New York City

this year?

Where

Hillary Clinton

and

Donald Trump

were both present?

It is a

Charity

where both

Presidential Candidates,

during election years,

have attended for years.

It goes as far back,

to my knowledge,

when

John F. Kennedy

was running for

President.

I could be wrong.

It wouldn't be the first time.

The funny thing about this past dinner,

was during the speeches that both candidates gave.

Donald

said,

"Michelle Obama gives a speech four years ago and people love her. My wife gives the same speech, and she gets booed!"

He also said,

"On the way in here tonight I bumped into Hillary and she told me, 'Pardon me."

Funny guy,

huh?

Well,

of course

Hillary

couldn't just let it go,

so she said,

"Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and says she is a four. Five or six if she moves the torch and tablet out of the way."

Isn't it wonderful that they,

and we should take an example from them,

just get along so well?

I was talking to

Larry the other day

and he told me about his conversation with the new waitress at

DQ.

"Ah. Boy, Connie, you know what your malts do to me?" Asked Larry
Connie answered. "Countin' on it, darlin'. I get off in an hour."
So Larry told her, "Ain't gonna take that long. I got Crisco at my house."

I had a buddy of mine call me up the other day,

all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin.

And I'm like,

"Man, if it upsets you so much, quit countin' them!"

Did you know that when a baby poops in its diaper,

you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper?

I was living with a girl for eight months,

until she found out I was living with her!

One year I bought my wife a mood ring.

Them things work pretty good too!

When she was in a good mood it was blue

and when she was in a bad mood,

it made a red mark upside my head.

This is,

Trying To Kick Your Weekend Off With A Good Laugh,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The gods too are fond of a joke.”
- Aristotle - 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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