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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Thursday, January 12, 2023

Don't Ever Be Fooled By An Imitator

Back in May of 2015, just at the beginning of when the popularity of my blog started growing in numbers, I wrote a post called
It's about a copycat writer from northern California who was using my moniker as his own to cash in on my small time celebrity.
Today I woke up and wondered, What ever happened to him?
The good news is that I have done so much writing on the different social platforms and written so many posts on my Blog that I no longer see him when I search TwoBuckHowie on the internet!
Here is that story from years gone by.
*****
I want to inform my reading Public,
of all the imitators out there.
Once you have a good thing going,
like wearing a Rolex Watch,
all the cheep imitations seem to creep on out from every dark street corner.
I am,
as in me,
as in I,
as in only me,
  am the real
Two Buck Howie!
I've had this nickname since at least 1980,
when I was laid off from the prestigious job of slaughtering hogs,
back when I lived in the beautiful State of Wisconsin.
I already had the nickname of Howie from my grade school days. Hauenstein, Howie.
Get it.
Then came the Two Buck part of my name.
I used to meet one of my best friends Scott,
nightly,
at the local dive Bar.
  I had to hustle drinks by playing darts or shooting pool because remember,
I didn't have a job.
I would walk in the Bar with two,
$1 bills,
  and by the end of the night,
I was always over the legal limit
of any breathalyzer
and I would be ten to twenty dollars richer.
The next day,
I would only bring two dollars from my winnings
and the whole process would begin again.
Soon,
I had to change bars every night because
people wouldn't play me for money any longer.
When I would walk into a place,
people started telling their friends
or the patrons around them,
not to play me because
I would hustle them.
The people who had never met me would ask,
"Who is that guy?"
That's when Scott started saying,
"That's Two Buck Howie."
True Story.
*****
Back then,
I always lived by a famous quote from my favorite hustler,
golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez.
He once said,
"Pressure? You want to know what pressure is? Pressure is when you make a fifty dollar bet and only have five dollars in your wallet."
He then went on to say,
"That's why I became so good at golf. I couldn't lose because I couldn't pay the bet."
My Hero!
Chi Chi Rodriguez Golf Club (Clearwater) - All You Need to Know BEFORE You  Go
This is,
Yes,
I Had To Run Out Of A Few Bars When I Lost A Bet
Jim Hauenstein

And

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” - Dean Martin -
 
  That is my story and I am sticking to it!
 
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Thanks for reading
 
Be kind to everyone
 
I'll be seeing you
 

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