I Feel A Little Humorous

What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
  A Beer in each hand!

 

The other day a friend of mine

and I were disusing what men find attractive in women.

I said,

"I think more men today are looking for intelligence in a woman."

And he said,

"Sure, that is the first thing men are looking for when they stick their hands on a woman's dress. A library card!"

You know what the most beautiful words in the English language are?

I told you so!

When you lose your rifle in the Army they charged you $85.

That’s why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

The Revenant

(2015).


An epic tale of one man’s desperate journey to 
do whatever it takes to 
finally win an Oscar.

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the Party City Store first and asked a few questions.

A sign outside of a Buddhist Temple in Nepal read,

“If you lived here, you’d be om by now.”

The closest a person can ever come to perfection is when they are writing their own resume.

I think it’s pretty cool how 
the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos!

Bifocals are God’s way of saying,

“Keep your chin up.”

I’d rather spend ten minutes 
rearranging the dishwasher to 
accommodate another dish than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand!

Why did God invent whiskey?
  So the Irish would never rule the world!

This is,

Me Saying That Instagram Is Twitter For People Who Go Outside

Jim Hauenstein

And

“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
- Tom Robbins, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Thanks for reading

 

Be kind to everyone

 

I'll be seeing you