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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Why Watch Football Today?

45 Other Things to Do on Super Bowl Sunday


By Mikey Rox

1. Bake a Milky Way Bundt

Gotta love a good Bundt. But this Milky Way Bundt recipe, courtesy of Cooks.com, takes the cake. (See also: Dump Cake and Other Sweet, Easy Treats)

2. Challenge a Facebook Friend to a Game of Scrabble

Just make sure you find someone who’s committed to finishing a game in one sitting. It’s annoying when it spans several seasons.

3. Rearrange Your Bedroom

Position the bed in front of the mirror.

4. Update Your Contacts

I’m notorious for getting drunk, making new friends and naming them in my phone after the establishment in which we met. For example, Frank Hooters or Mandi IHOP. The next day I have no idea who they are, and I never speak to them again. Time to downsize.

5. Write a Letter to Your Congressperson

Surely there’s something you need to get off your chest. I still can’t legally marry in most states. That’s a start.

6. Catch Up on Your DVR

My DVR is loaded with episodes of “The Graham Norton Show,” “Skins,” “Being Human,” and “Smurfs’ Adventures.” What do you have waiting for you?

7. E-file Your Taxes

Get ahead of the game — and get your refund faster — by filing your taxes online. Easy-breezy.

8. Dust

It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. Yep, even you.

9. Go Sledding

What good is all this snow if you don’t make proper use of it? There has to be a hill close by that’s calling your name. Like Big Bear, Idyllwild, and Mammoth Mountain. All in California.

10. Clean Out Your Closet

Make a charitable contribution — to your local church or your least favorite friend — while making room for new spring additions.

11. Make a Handmade Valentine for Your Sweetie

Mine will be an interpretation of one of these prints by Gaping Void. She’ll return the gift in kisses.

12. Sanitize the Refrigerator

And while you’re at it, throw out anything more than one month past its expiration date. You don’t want to start the next global pandemic, do you?

13. Film Your Own Commercial

The sky is the limit, but this amateur submission is pretty darn funny.

14. Learn How to Play Texas Hold ’Em

A good way to earn some extra cash — if you know how to play better than your unsuspecting friends.

15. Memorize the Budweiser Pledge

One of my fraternity brothers could recite this verbatim. I always thought it was kinda neat. One of those idiot savant qualities that you can’t help but envy.

16. Scrub the Tub

It’s not supposed to have a ring around it. Neither should the toilet, for that matter.

17. Make Decoupage Magnets

I picked up the necessary items to make these magnets at my local craft store for under $4. A lot of times Michael’s has a 40% off one item coupon in the weekly circular, and you can save even more money by cutting pictures out of magazines (or old photos!) instead of buying scrapbooking paper like the post suggests. You don’t need a circle cutter or a cutting mat, either. Regular scissors work just as well.

18. Read the Book "No Return Address!"

By James Hauenstein. Sold at many of the online eBook stores. I’ve heard and read so many excellent reviews on this. I can’t wait to dive in.

19. Sign up for RentAFriend.com

I did. You can read all about it right here.

20. Embark on a Local Road Trip

You don’t have to go far — or spend a bundle — to see new sights and enjoy exciting experiences. Hop in the car and take a drive.

21. Take Down the Christmas Decorations

Seriously. It’s almost Valentine’s Day.

22. Call Grandma

Full disclosure: Mine called me at the end of December, and I still haven’t returned her call. I think it’s time to take my own advice

23. Create a Five-Year Plan

If you make a formal plan, you’re more likely to achieve your goals. But you don’t have to believe me. Wise Bread writer Janey Osterlind details how in this article.

24. Hold a Séance

You’ll need a Ouija board, a few candles, and an open mind. Extra points for authenticity if you can convince your friends that the poltergeist living in your basement is showing you “signs.”

25. Build an Igloo

A few geniuses in Slovenia charge people to stay in theirs. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

26. Learn Spanglish

This really depends on how ambitious you are. I would start with the bad words.

27. Alphabetize Anything That Has a Title

There’s just something about books and movies filed from A to Z that soothes the soul. At least for someone with OCD, like me.

28. Roll Loose Change

Everybody has a change jar. It may not look very promising, but I bet there’s at least $30 in yours. That’s enough for groceries, a partial tank of gas, or a movie with concessions. Your call.

29. Take Up Knitting

The possibilities are endless. You can make scarves, sweaters, potholders and lots of other things that old people will like. Learn knitting basics with this video.

30. Feed the Homeless

Not everybody cares about the Big Game. Some people are just tryin’ to stay alive.

31. Study the Science of Mixology

Anyone who can make a cucumber cocktail is OK with me.

32. Give Yourself a Mani-Pedi

You’ll save cash — and your woman will thank you for clipping those claws.

33. Discover Chatroulette

You’ve heard the stories. Now experience the eye-bleaching action firsthand. If you like that kind of thing. I mean "Social Networking." It hasn't been this much fun since My Space.

34. Put Your Gym Membership to Use

Trust me, there will definitely be an elliptical machine available this time. No excuses.

35. Make Reservations at a Fancy Hot Spot

Can’t ever snag a table at that uppity new restaurant? Tonight’s the night!

36. Host a Pre-Oscars Viewing Party

Rent two of the Best Picture contenders and pretend like you’re part of the Academy. Before the show begins, critique each other’s outfits.

37. Practice the Art of Cake Decorating

One of my aunts recently took a class and I was impressed. She’s no Duff Goldman — yet — but for a novice she really knocked my socks off. You can do it the DIY way by picking up a decorating kit.

38. Go Mock Shopping

When I was bored and broke in college, I would head to the town Walmart and stuff my cart full of fancy items. Fancy for Walmart in 2001, at least. When I had everything I needed, I would abandon the cart at the end of a dark aisle for an unsuspecting employee to find and curse me for later. It was strangely satisfying.

39. Get a Tattoo

Just don’t use Gucci Mane for inspiration.

40. Volunteer to Be a Designated Driver

Chances are all your friends will be blacked out by the time the game is over. Be a hero. Save some lives.

41. Replace the Photos in Your Frames

People are doing this less and less as time goes on, because many of us put them online for the world to see instead of printing them out to enjoy at home. That's the downside to digital cameras, and it means that our hard-copy pics are out of date. Give your frames a facelift by ordering prints from Kodak Gallery, which offers 50 free to new customers. That’s enough to share.

42. Clean Out Your Carryall

God only knows what you've got in there. All you really need are these nine items.

43. Manscape

Although if you're opposed to watching the Super Bowl, common sense says that you're already groomed better than a prize-winning poodle.

44. Attend a Church Service

It's long overdue. Plus, free wine!

45. Learn to Like the Super Bowl

If you don't, nobody will hang out with you. I'm living proof.
 
This is,
Not MeAgain,
Because I Am Going To Watch The Big Game,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.”
- Matshona Dhliwayo -

That is his story and I am sticking to watching the football game so I don't end up acting or looking like a bad Sport!
I have my own problems! 

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1 comment:

  1. My friend mentioned to me your blog, so I thought I’d read it for myself. Very interesting insights, will be back for more!
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