Mind Controlling Matter Theory

   "Have you heard what Professor Alan Hauenstein's lecture is all about?" Asked one graduate student to another.
   "No." The other student said. "I hear he is speaking at the Hauenstein Center for Presidential Studies at Grand Valley State University, is he not?"
   "Yes he is." Said the first. "He calls it, The Probability and Physics of the Human Mind eventually manipulating Kinetic Energy on everyday Objects."
   "Does he mean like, mind over matter, to move an object?" Asked the other student.
   "Yes." Said the first graduate student.
   "Like having a superpower, that you read about, in a comic book?" Asked the other.
   "Yes!" He replied excitedly.
   "No wonder he took his show on the road to his name-sake institution." Laughed the second student. "He doesn't want to loose tenure here at Cornell and windup at a community college."
   "I know a student who works for Professor Hauenstein and she gave me the Professor's Theory." Told the first student. "Making me promise not to reveal it to the world until after the Professor's lecture tomorrow night."
   "Wow, somebody actually trusted you with the Professor's formula?" Said the incredulous second student.
   "It is actually my new girlfriend, Stacie." Smiled the graduate student who is telling the story. "She is a great girl and I am beginning to think she is the one."
   "Okay, first." Said the other student. "Why haven't I met her and second; what is the Professor's formula?"
   "First." Replied the student holding all the cards. "She is not the kind of gal to play beer pong like you do all day long, and second; I can show you the Professor's formula right here on my tablet."
   The first graduate student pulled out his tablet from his backpack, turns it on, then taps an icon, pulling up the document entitled; "Mind Controlling Matter Theory."
    The second graduate student takes the tablet from his friend's hands, while smiling from ear to ear with anticipation. He looks down at the screen and reads;

Fi  = the fraction of countries in this world that have the capability for students to receive a higher education, which will develop a highly intelligent mind.
Fg = the fraction of students who graduate at the top of their class.
Fp = the fraction of those, top of the class students, who meet each other and get married.
Nc = the number of children born to those students of a higher education.
Ft  = the fraction of parents who send their students to be taught or tutored by the best teachers in their respected countries.
R* = the rate evolution takes to change the heritable traits of our biological population over successive generations.
L* = the number of leaps in evolution, when given the right scenario of, lineage, health, education, and development of the human brain jumps forward two fold.
Np = is the number of people who will be able to use 25 to 30% of their brain's capabilities.

Np = Fi + Fg + Fp + Nc + Ft + R* + L*

   As the two students look over the formula, unbeknownst to them, Stacie is walking up from behind and listening in, on their conversation.
   "What do you think?" Asks the first student of his friend.
   "What a buffoon Professor Hauenstein is." Says the second.
   Stacie is angered by the second student's comments. She believes in the Professor, and thinks he will soon accomplish great things in this world.
   Without flinching, Stacie imagines the second student's pants coming down and it happens.
   With random people walking by smiling or laughing, the first graduate student says to his friend, "Come on man. Invest in a belt or something! What's the matter with you?"

   This is,

I Made You Read This Story

Just By Thinking That You Would,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order.”
- Arthur Conan Doyle, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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