This is a
re-Post
of my
June 15th, 2015
Post
called
Just Joking Around.
I still believe humor is the best medicine.
*****
Recently,
I went into one of those discount massage parlors.
re-Post
of my
June 15th, 2015
Post
called
Just Joking Around.
I still believe humor is the best medicine.
*****
Recently,
I went into one of those discount massage parlors.
It turned out to be self serve!
Then I met this hooker on a street corner.
She told me she had a headache!
If it wasn't for the guy who just pick-pocketed me,
I'd have no sex life at all!
I blame it all on my upbringing when I was a child.
When I took my first step,
my Dad tripped me!
my Dad tripped me!
When I was born,
the doctor slapped my Mom!
the doctor slapped my Mom!
Then,
I think I was still a virgin at the age of thirty-three,
I think I was still a virgin at the age of thirty-three,
I was making love to this girl I was dating
and she started crying.
and she started crying.
I asked,
"Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"
"Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"
She said,
"No, I hate myself now!"
"No, I hate myself now!"
One night I thought I was going to get really lucky.
I had these two girls in my car
and they both scream at the same time,
"Stop here!"
and they both scream at the same time,
"Stop here!"
Right next to the International House of Pancakes was a Motel 6.
We went inside,
and I had to pay for two
"Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity"
meals.
and I had to pay for two
"Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity"
meals.
Then I started dating this girl who was half-black.
She dumped me because she said I was prejudiced.
In a sweet moment,
I called her half-white!
I called her half-white!
When I got married,
I asked my wife if I could give her a goodnight kiss on her cheek.
I asked my wife if I could give her a goodnight kiss on her cheek.
She bent over!
Still,
I believe,
in this World,
every person has a soul mate.
I believe,
in this World,
every person has a soul mate.
And if I ever find mine,
my wife will kill her!
my wife will kill her!
I did meet a famous Politician once.
I met the Surgeon General,
and he offered me a cigarette!
and he offered me a cigarette!
People say I look a lot younger than I really am.
That's because I act so immature!
This is,
Those Last Two Jokes I Wrote,
Jim Hauenstein,
Those Last Two Jokes I Wrote,
Jim Hauenstein,
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
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