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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Friday, October 6, 2017

Keep The Jokes Coming

 This is a
re-Post
of my
June 15th, 2015
Post
called
Just Joking Around.
I still believe humor is the best medicine.

*****
Recently,
I went into one of those discount massage parlors.
It turned out to be self serve!
Then I met this hooker on a street corner.
She told me she had a headache!
If it wasn't for the guy who just pick-pocketed me,
I'd have no sex life at all!
I blame it all on my upbringing when I was a child.
When I took my first step,
my Dad tripped me!
When I was born,
the doctor slapped my Mom!
Then,
I think I was still a virgin at the age of thirty-three,
I was making love to this girl I was dating
and she started crying.
I asked,
"Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"
She said,
"No, I hate myself now!"
One night I thought I was going to get really lucky.
I had these two girls in my car
and they both scream at the same time,
"Stop here!"
Right next to the International House of Pancakes was a Motel 6.
We went inside,
and I had to pay for two
"Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity"
meals.
Then I started dating this girl who was half-black.
She dumped me because she said I was prejudiced.
In a sweet moment,
I called her half-white!
When I got married,
I asked my wife if I could give her a goodnight kiss on her cheek.
She bent over!
Still,
I believe,
in this World,
every person has a soul mate.
And if I ever find mine,
my wife will kill her!
I did meet a famous Politician once.
I met the Surgeon General,
and he offered me a cigarette!
People say I look a lot younger than I really am.
That's because I act so immature!

This is,
Those Last Two Jokes I Wrote,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
- Paul Terry -

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

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