Scary Links To Frighten You

I am a little busy right now. No it is not an excuse. Okay, you got me. I just love to look at these links this time of year that I am repeating a Post I did on October 28th, 2018 called Links To Be Scared Of. Enjoy

*****

https://www.wikihow.com/Find-Ghosts-in-Your-House

https://www.quora.com/Where-can-I-find-ghosts-in-India

http://www.angelsghosts.com/best_places_find_ghosts

https://www.placesyoullsee.com/38-real-haunted-houses-and-the-stories-behind-them/ 

https://www.hgtv.com/design/make-and-celebrate/holidays/americas-scariest-homes-real-life-haunted-houses-pictures

https://www.timeout.com/usa/things-to-do/scariest-haunted-houses-in-the-US

http://www.realhaunts.com/

https://www.housebeautiful.com/lifestyle/g22635979/real-life-haunted-house-stories/

This last one is the scariest of all!

Haunted Houses

for sale,

so they jack up the price!

https://www.zillow.com/blog/haunted-homes-for-sale-162505/

Happy Halloween Everyone

Hey,
that is my house!

This is,

I Am Not Afraid Of No Ghosts

I Just Keep My Blanket Over My Head At Night For Warmth

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“There the book fell, and it seemed to Conway that an invisible hand had struck it out of his. He rose, leaving the journal lying open as it had fallen, and hurried from the room. A gloom filled the passage and the house was full of horror, resounding with the sufferings of its past inhabitants and dripping with their tears. His hand closed upon the damp balustrade, and the rotten wood exuded moisture like a sponge.”
- Ernest G. Henham -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Well I Think I Am Funny

 

A friend of mine insists that I'm not in touch with my emotions.

I said I was in front of the big screen TV just the other day,

watching a movie with a box of tissues. My friend then asked,

"Was the movie called, Debbie does Dallas?"

 

At least I finally made my Dad happy.

You see he always wanted me to go to medical school so today I donated my body to science when I die.

 

You know why God created Man before Woman?

So Man could figure out his story when the Woman asked,

"Where have you been?"

 

When I would ask my Mom if I could have the car when I was a teenager still living at home,

the last thing she always said before handing me the key was,

"Children in the backseat can cause accidents.

Accidents in the back seat can cause children."

 

My daughter,

who was 17 years old at the time told me this one.

What is 6.9?

A really good time,

ruined by a period!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

She's 17!

 

So answer me this.

"If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to buy all that stuff from ACME,

why doesn't he just buy himself a good dinner?"

 

Did you know why Blondes can't dial 911?

Because they can't find the Eleven!

 

If a parsley farmer is sued,

can they garnish his wages?

 

Why do Doctors call what they do,

a Practice?

 

A friend of mine asked me,

"Do you really think you are quick witted telling these jokes?"

I said, "Sure. I just write the first thing that pops into my head."

Her reply? "It shows, because you don't have much to choose from."

This is,
Well, I Think I'm Funny,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The gods too are fond of a joke.”

- Aristotle -

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!

Frank & Lloyd & Wright - Final Part

   I won't go into great detail about the longest three weeks of my life. I'm just thankful that my chamberlains took on the task and made it happen.

   It took that long for the lawyers to finish their negotiations, to organize the move, complete the first floor renovations, and have enough food on hand to open up for business.

   We weren't expecting a rush on the place so we didn't overstock the refrigerating units and purchase abundance of plant and protein cells for growing in the petri room. If it took awhile for customers to come in, I was the one obligated to eat all the prepared food so it wouldn't go to waste.

   Yet, I feel so fortunate and blessed about our opening day. I'm practicing wiping down the countertop with an ozonating cleaning clothe with osmosis cleaning action when our first two patrons open the door. An elderly couple holding each other closely.

   The gentleman asks, "Is this the cafe advertised all week on the apartments virtual bulletin board? Are we in the right place?"

   "Yes it is, welcome," I say excitedly. "Would you like to sit at a table or here by the counter?"

   The woman says, "Oh those stools are too high for me to sit on. I'll fall off."

   Lloyd immediately comes from behind the counter pulling out a chair, first for the lady and then for the gentleman.

   After sitting a screen pops up in the middle of our table with the menu. I ask, "Would you like a laminated version of the menu to hold instead?"

   "Ooo that would be wonderful," says the male patron. "This is my wife Beverly and my name is Delbert and we have been married for 176 years."

   "That's amazing this day and age," I say smiling.

   "We were kids when we met and I took Bebe on a date to a little cafe that was still open for service. It soon shutdown though because people stopped coming. But the two of us kept meeting there everyday for two months until it closed."

   "That's a beautiful story," I hear Wright say from kitchen area. "Is there anything special I can cook for you two? As long as the ingredients are on the menu of course?"

   "My cheapskate husband has been a penny pincer since day I met him." Beverly says. "Our first meal together was bacon and eggs. I would like that please."

   Delbert adds, "Coffee, lots of coffee please."

   "For being our very first guests, coffee is on the house," I tell them, using the old tactic of restaurant owners gone by. "Let me know if you need anything else. We are hear to serve."

   I have the biggest smile on my face because I knew this was just the beginning.

The End

*****

Epilogue

 

  Wiping the countertop with an ozonating cleaning clothe with osmosis cleaning action, I look to the young patron sitting in front of me at the counter, who is maybe in his early forties, and ask him, "What was your question again?"

 

That Whole Story Started From One Little Question

 

This is,

I'm Sorry It Took So Long To Complete This Story

I Got My Covid Booster Shot On October 18th And Immediately Came Down With The Symptoms

I Was Sick For A Week

Jim Hauenstein

And,

“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have one good friend, you're more than lucky.”
- S.E. Hinton -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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I'll Be Seeing You!

Frank & Lloyd & Wright - Part 5

   My three chamberlains don't even move a hinge, don't blink, but stare at me blankly after I tell them my idea. I wait for a response until I remember that I told them turn off their emotional chips until I was done speaking.

   "Okay," I then say in a commanding voice. "Everyone set their emotional chips to level three." Still nobody says anything, but it did bring out two frowning faces and one smiley face. You can guess who has which.

   "One more time then," I say hesitantly, "Please set your chips to level six but no higher."

   Immediately Frank and Lloyd jump on me saying things like; "Are you out of your mind? Who do you think will come to this cafe?" and "I have changed my calculations and I am recommending our boss seek professional help."

   Wright is smiling this whole time as the other androids rambled on about my mental stability, finally interrupting the two with, "Now boys, let's hear if Geoff has any concrete plans on how he will accomplish his agenda or if he hasn't thought this through yet."

   I couldn't believe it. One of them might be on my side. I thought this was going to be a long day of me arguing with them and then finally ordering all three to help me complete my idea. Maybe I'll only have to order two chamberlains to turn off their emo chips and do what I say.

   The room quieted down to the point where you could hear dust hit the dining table if there was still dust to worry about. I look into the face-plate of each one to see if I can figure out which of them is going to give me the most trouble. Each one was playing their part. Frank had the scowl of the oldest sibling concerned on how I would accomplish my foolhardy idea. Lloyd gave me the smirk of someone who thought how weird his younger brother was and couldn't wait until everything fell apart. But Wright was just grinning in a motherly fashion and anticipation.

   I smile back at Wright, with her shaking her head once to say, go ahead.

   "My idea is to use my apartment here, at this complex, as the cafe. Changing the insides completely to accommodate customers from this complex itself and from other apartments in the neighborhood."

   Frank jumps in before I can go any further saying, "Security alone will thwart your plans because they will never let anyone come this far up into the building without proper authorization."

   "I thought of that," I tell him. "My idea would be to trade my apartment for one on the first floor in front of the building for easy access for our patrons."

   Now it was Lloyd's turn, "Are you out of your mind? Do you know how many generations it took to get up to the thirteenth floor in the first place? Status in this world is based on moving up to top of the complex, not going down to floor number one and starting all over again."

   "So you are telling me that I should worry about my virtual status in a virtual reality instead of living in real world and being happy by meeting real people and making real friends?" I ask.

   Lloyd folds his arms across his chest and says, "Humph," in an over dramatic way.

   I look to Wright but it seems she has nothing to say. So I continue.

   "We are going to do this no matter what kind of arguments you come up with or what obstacles we will need to overcome. I need you all to back me up on this so we can accomplish something I believe is very important. Something that I can passed down to further generations of Edelweiss's. What I'll need from each you is to help me with the details of the move, the architecture of designing the cafe, growing our own food, the advertisement when we are ready to serve, and finally, working alongside of me to make this the best cafe in a real or virtual town."

This is,

Me Getting Hungry So I Am Going Out To Get Pizza

Jim Hauenstein

 

And,

 

“Among items in the glass cold case were cheesecake, marzipan candies, the famous chocolate cherry thunder fudge, and a round of sharp cheddar for the apple tarts. The non-refrigerated case held all manner of pastries, sweet rolls, and berry pies. When the buckwheat rolls came out of the oven they went directly into pink boxes tied with kite string.”
- Jo-Ann Mapson -

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!

Frank & Lloyd & Write - Part 4

   After I loudly say, "Family Meeting," my stomach makes a gurgling sound reminding me I haven't eaten yet. The smell alone from the homegrown bacon, eggs, buttered bread, and hash browns sends a shiver through my belly. I hadn't realize until now how hungry I really was.

   Before I can reach a fork, Frank and Lloyd walk into the dining area. With Frank taking the initiative to ask, "Do you need someone to spoon feed you, your holiness? Is that why we called in?"

   I went ahead and took a bite out of the bread I had dunked into the yoke of one of the eggs while I had to endure Frank's sarcastic remarks. I was making a slurping sound as he spoke so I could catch all the yellow drippings before they fell back onto the plate.

   Waiting for my response, all three stare at me in that frozen robot state.

   I was just about to say something when Wright lightly slaps my hand without the bread saying, "You do not talk with food in your mouth young man." Then she goes back into her frozen state and stares.

   You know how creepy it feels when three humanoid looking androids, which you consider your family, stare at you intently without blinking, moving, or talking. The awkward silence was killing me so I swallow the mouthful of food I was eating without finishing the recommended thirty-two chews for proper digestion. Before I could finish, Wright slaps my hand again. But she didn't say anything about it. She knew I knew why she did it.

   So I calmly take a drink of almond milk, politely wipe my mouth with the cloth napkin and ask Wright, "Is it okay for me to talk now?"

   She nods her head yes once.

   "Okay," I say again. "First I'm going to ask all three of you to turn your emotional chips way down so I'm not interrupted as I speak."

   They just keep staring at me but I know they did what I asked. Probably before I finished asking it.

   "I know this will not come as any great surprise to you, but yes, I think I have been acting out because of boredom."

   I wait for a reaction, but none come. Their chips are probably turned off.

   "Since the likelihood of an Overseer will be coming here to inspect our living conditions is all but assured," I tell them. "I think the only way around from me being assigned a psychiatrist to straighten out any mental issues, even though we all know I don't need one, is to start my own business to occupy my time."

   I pause to see if any of them will take the bait. But not a peep out of any of them or a blink.

   "If I show the initiative first, before the Overseer gets here, I believe they will see that I have recognize any problems I might have and have taken steps to better my mental health. In this way, there will be no need for visits from a psychologist."

   Lloyd was the only one who flinched a centimeter.

   "Yes Lloyd?" I ask. "Do have something to say?"

   Before I finish the word "say", Lloyd blurts out what is on his hard-drive-brain of his, as if it is killing him by holding it inside. "Psychiatry and psychology are two different professions. One uses medical knowledge....

   "Yes, you are absolutely correct," I interrupt. "I apologize. Beside that little error on my part, does anyone else have something to say about my idea?"

   Frank asks flatly, "Do you have any idea of what kind of business you would like to start?"

   "Yes I do," I answer. "I have been giving this a lot of thought and I think I would like to open up a cafe."

   None of them move for a micro second which seems like an eternity to me.

   Frank speaks first by asking, "Do you know how much it costs to get a virtual realm license to be able to stimulate your customer's taste, smell, and feel senses? And do you realize that you will also have to go through a vigorous psychoanalysis before said license will be awarded to you? The very thing you want to avoid by starting a business."

    "Yes!" I exclaim with excitement. "But here is the beauty of my idea and we won't have to worry about any licenses either. You see, I'm not going to open up a virtual cafe. I'm going to open up a real-life cafe where real live people can come into to enjoy a real meal!"

   This is,

Not So Far Fetched

They Already Have Them In Japan

Jim Hauenstein

And,

“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
- David Lynch -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You!