This post is rated R so please don't let your children read it.
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A friend of mine insists that I'm not in touch with my emotions. I told her I was in front
of the big screen TV just the other day, watching a movie with a box of
tissues. My friend quickly asks, "Was the movie called, Debbie does Dallas?"
At least I finally made my Dad happy. You see, he always wanted me to go to Medical School, so today I donated my body to Science when I die.
You know why God created Man before Woman? So Man could figure out his story when the Woman finally asks, "Where have you been?"
When I would ask my Mom if I could have the car when I was a teenager still living at home, the last thing she always said before handing me the key was,
"Children in the backseat can cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat can cause children."
My youngest daughter told me this one when she was only 17 years old.
"What is 6.9? A really good time ruined by a period!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
She's was 17!
She is now 23
and I'm finally over it.
So answer me this. "If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to buy all that stuff from ACME, why doesn't he just buy himself a good dinner?"
Did you know why Blondes can't dial 911? Because they can't find the Eleven!
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Why do Doctors call what they do, a Practice?
A friend of mine asked me, "Do you really think you are quick witted telling these jokes?" I said, "Sure. I just write the first thing that pops into my head."
Her reply? "It shows because you don't have much to choose from."
This is,
Well, I Think I'm Funny,
Jim Hauenstein,
Well, I Think I'm Funny,
Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The gods too are fond of a joke.”
- Aristotle -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Be Kind To Everyone.
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