About Me

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Hello my fellow Politiores Troglodytes. This Blog is a collection of Posts, Poems, & Short Stories that I write on a daily basis. If you find it entertaining, informative, and controversial, then I have done my job properly. Thank goodness too, because Karma has been on my case of late. I'm supposed to bring fifty people into the fold or I'll have to give back the part of Einstein's brain I inherited. No, I'm not one of the Scientists who got a piece of his brain when he died. Karma said, "Eat this knowledge. It'll make you smarter!" The bargain I made with Karma was, if I could change fifty people into Politiores Populos, I would be rewarded with my very own Lamborghini. So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it! Like what you're reading, then read on. P.S. Populo is Latin for people. Politiores is Latin for educated. Troglodytes is English for troglodytes. And Einstein's brain was stolen by Thomas Stoltz Harvey after his death in 1955 and eventually divvied up into 240 pieces. If you just read that last sentence, then you have just learned something and I'm just that much closer to fulfilling my commitment to Karma!

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Native Songs

Native American Songs.






This is,
I Like All Kinds Of Music,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“The Holy Land is everywhere”
- Black Elk -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Just What I Needed

Just what I needed.
Another streaming service starts today.
Luckily for me I get the service for free because I subscribe to the phone service of the parent company.
If you don't know what I am talking about,
I am sure you will see
and hear about it all day long today.
Since they refuse to pay me to advertise the release of their product,
I refuse to give their name out on this
Blog.
If that isn't bad enough,
the
website has put up a
simulator where you can us the controls of the
that will be used by
NASA Astronauts
to manually pilot a
SpaceX Dragon 2 Rocket
to the
International Space Station.
How To Dock With ISS in SpaceX's Free Dragon Docking Simulator ...
There goes my weekend
and it is only
Wednesday
too!

This is,
Saying I Am Using The Excuse Of A Pandemic To Never Leave My House Again,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.”
- Neil Armstrong -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Monday, May 25, 2020

I Am Going To Ask You One More Time

I like this
Post
so much I am repeating it for the 3rd time.
From
February 13th, 2016
my
Post
 Hey Dude, Are You A Long Boarder Or Short Boarder When Riding Those Gravitational Waves?
*****
I was talking to Albert awhile back, 
you know, 
Albert Einstein.
About a hundred years ago I was talking to him about his theories 
and he starts telling me,
"We will not only use telescopes to do astronomy, by seeing beautiful close-ups of the Planets and our Moon, but we'll see the Milky Way in a whole new light. In the future we'll finally understand Star formation, how our Solar System was born, and we'll discover and prove my theory on Black Holes."
 So I say to him,
"Come on Al, aren't you stretching things a bit about your Black Hole theory?"
So Al, 
who is part of my posse says to me,
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” 
If I didn't know any better, 
I would have thought that I just got insulted.
I think?
Well, 
my 
Good Old Homie 
was proven right once again last 
September 14th, 2015. 
It took Scientist, 
who released their findings a couple of days ago, 
that long to sift through all the data to prove there are 
Gravitational Waves. 
They did it with 
LIGO
You know, 
The Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatories.
The headlines read,
"A scientific milestone was achieved using a pair of giant laser detectors in the United States, located in Louisiana and Washington State, capping a decades-long quest to find these waves." Story by Will Dunham and Scott Malone for Reuters.
I know, 
these guys are cheating! 
My man Einstein used chalk 
and a blackboard for his findings. 
These 
LIGO  
people are using lasers 
and got their money from,
"an independent agency of the United States government, who provided about $1.1 billion in funding for the research over the past 40 years."
But I must say, 
I always wanted one of those laser pointy sticks for myself! 
I would use it to set up my wobbly telescope, 
pointing to the Moon.

This is,
Gravitational Waves Are Kind Of Small I Hear So I Am Using A Long Board When I Go Surfing,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,


“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign of?” 
That's my story and I'm sticking to it because it's all true!


If anyone ever has a charitable, medical, or any kind of fund raising event that they would like me to Post here on this Blog, please feel free to leave a Comment at the bottom of this Post and I'll be happy to give you my support. I lost a good friend to cancer last year and a another to the oxycontin, Drug Company induced, addiction. I would love to help anyone fight any disease.

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Okay, quiet class.

Did you think that once you have your
Doctorate,
Master's,
Bachelor's,
Associate's,
2 Year Degree,
Trade School,
or
High School Diploma
that you would be finished with learning?
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Okay,
quiet class.
Take out your text books
and turn to page 112358.
Oh,
aren't you the smart one.
Yes,
we are going to learn about the
Fibonacci Numbers.
"In mathematics, the Fibonacci numbers, commonly denoted Fn form a sequence, called the Fibonacci sequence, such that each number is the sum of the two preceding ones, starting from 0+1."
- Wikipedia -
"Fibonacci numbers are strongly related to the golden ratio: Binet's formula expresses the nth Fibonacci number in terms of n and the golden ratio, and implies that the ratio of two consecutive Fibonacci numbers tends to the golden ratio as n increases." 
Am I confusing you? 
Are you wondering what the heck is going on
and why would I bring up this subject?
The reason is,
because how beautiful this sequence of numbers are!
"They appear in biological settings, such as branching in trees, the arrangement of leaves on a stem, the fruit sprouts of a pineapple, the flowering of an artichoke, an uncurling fern and the arrangement of a pine cone's bracts." 
Image result for art using fibonacci sequence 
This is how you apply it.
Image result for art using fibonacci sequence 
Now isn't mathematics beautiful?

This is,
I Know,
What Is The Golden Ratio?
That Answer Will Be Taught In Another Class.
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“But in my opinion, all things in nature occur mathematically.”
- Rene Decartes -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

 

 

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Texts I Send To My Kids

First, I would like to apologize to my reader who signed his Comment as

"Unknown". I finish every Post I write with;
Leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.
His comment was worthy enough but I didn't notice it right away because he signed it "Unknown". From November 29th, 2016 my Post called;
and his comment; 
i am browsing this website dailly, and get nice facts from here all the time.
Thank you.
*****
Now back to our show!

"This pandemic has body shamed me. I had to buy XL underwear yesterday!"😡

"Did you hear about the rash of pedicure salons getting robbed? They are calling it ClipToeMania!"

"I thought up a new drinking game. While watching Criminal Minds, every time someone gets murdered, we take a drink!"😃

"Spoiler! John Wick started killing people because a bad guy killed his dog in the first movie. Even though John kills more than 30 people in John Wick 3, people are asking, "Did the dog Live?'"😾

"What is the only country in the world not to record a single birth in the year 1983? The Vatican City!"

"Did you know that your nose is long enough that your eyes can see the end of it? It is your brain that blocks your eyes from noticing it. To prove it, close one eye and you will see the tip of your nose. Switch eyes and you will see it again!"

"The older I get, the more I want to eat chocolate!"

"JJ asked me who I liked best out of all my children. He said he knew that I love you all but who do I like the most. I said, "I dislike all of you equally!'"😂

"I was sitting on the couch when JJ came into room. He had with him the lighter we use to light birthday candles and the pot we use when we cook noodles. He puts the lighter under the pot and says, "I'm smoking pot!'"

"Now that I am old, I think about all the money I spent on beer over the years. If I had that money right now, think of all the beer I could buy!"😎

This is,
A Skunk, A Deer, And A Duck Went Out To Have A Beer In A Wisconsin Bar. When It Came Time To Pay The Skunk Didn't Have A Cent, The Deer Didn't Have A Buck, So It All Went On The Duck's Bill!
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
- Douglas Adams -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.
 Christmas Humour | Writers Write


Monday, May 18, 2020

Will I Ever Understand Women?

God has a real sense of humor.
When I young,
I was single by choice,
but not my choice.
The choice of everyone I dated.
So I prayed to my idea of
God
for a woman who would love me for whom I am.
She would be understanding,
kind,
stand behind me through thick & thin,
cook for me,
clean for me,
look to me with gratitude,
and obey me.
That night,
he came to me in a dream
and said,
"There are four women like that, which you have prayed for. Who would stand by you eternally. Go to any of the four corners of the World and you will find one there!"
I awoke the next morning with the biggest grin on my face
and thought about what my
God
had said to me.
Then I laid back down crying.
The world is round!

So,
let me get this straight.
Women get to wear fake hair,
fake nails,
fake eye lashes,
padded bras,
padded butts,
pumped up lips,
and get Botox,
but they are looking for a real man???
I have always wanted to be with two women at the same time.
One to cook
and one to clean.

I recently put a personal ad in the local newspaper's
"Want Ads."
It said,
"Looking for someone like myself, only with more money."

I hate blind dates.
On my last one I told my date a little white lie about myself
and she called me on it.
I didn't know what to do when she said,
"Show me the Bat Cave!"

A chicken
and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face,
and the egg is frowning
and looking put out.
The egg mutters,
to no one in particular,
"I guess we answered that question."

I am a philosopher at heart.
Here I will show you.
A quiet man, is a thinking man.
A quiet woman, is usually mad.

I blew it with my wife.
She was giving me the silent treatment for an entire week until I said,
"Hey, we are getting along pretty good lately!"

I have the geekiest friend in the world,
but somehow he always seems to have new girlfriends every time I see him.
So I asked him his secret.
He told me you have to be sincere when you first talk to a lady.
Wow,
I said.
That is so profound.
What is the first thing you say to a woman then?
"Hi. My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?"

This is,
Never Really Going To Understand Women In This Lifetime,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
- Phyllis Diller -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Ennui

Over the past 12 years,
since I started a new chapter in my life,
I have been planning
or I should say hoping to find the extra time I need to become a better writer.
I like the enjoyment I get from creating new stories
and writing them down for people to read.
When I started seriously playing the guitar in my younger days,
I would come home from work
and spend two to three hours practicing.
I'm not saying this made me a great guitar player,
but for the kind of music I was playing
and writing at the time,
it made me more professional.
Along comes the
Coronavirus
and now I have all extra time I need.
Like most people I have set up routines to combat complete
and keep my body fit,
somewhat.
Part of my routine is overeating!
Or what those
Influencers
like to call
Boredom Eating!
How to Stop Boredom Eating––Here's Our Top 7 Tricks 
 Now that we are all staying home,
I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to really buckle down
and start typing away at my computer.
"Getting things done,"
as they say.
But,
there is another side of writing that I didn't think about when I found all this time on my hands.
I call it stimulus.
Like,
Social Interaction,
Site Seeing,
Traveling,
Museums,
Art Museums,
Zoos,
People Watching,
and anything else that you can thing of that makes up this beautiful world of ours.
I have the time now
but I don't have the
Stimulus
to be creative.
I am not going to use the excuse
"Writers Block!"
Because I know me.
I love to babble when I have an audience
and I am never for a
"Lost Of Words."
The worst thing a writer can do is start reading a lot of books
and copy the style of another writer.
I have to stay true to me
and my ideas,
even when they are not coming as fast as I would like!

This is,
See,
I Can't Think Of Anything To Say Here,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,


“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.”
- Émile Zola -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
If it's worthy enough,
I'll answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.


Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Am I Paranoid?

This is a test. 
This is only a test. 
It is not a test by the  
So do not get testy about it 
or men,
do not get your testicles sucked up into your gut! 
This is a test by me, 
for me, 
to see if I really do write some wild 
and crazy
Posts
here on this wild 
and crazy
Blog.
Are people really interested in reading this
Blog?
Or, 
as someone has suggested, 
I often use key words that get 
Government Agencies from around the World, 
Security Companies from around the World, 
and 
Black Hat Hackers from around the World, 
noticing me by their high tech computers.
Are they checking on me to see what I have to say?
If that is the case, 
it would explain why my computer has been acting so funny lately
and has been slowing down so much.
With all the different
Malwares,
Spywares,
Adwares,
and every other kind of
Wares
they have been sending me,
I'm surprised that I am still up
and running at all.
I am sure they would all want to know if I am one of the good guys 
or one of the bad guys. 
Government Agencies
would want to see if I am doing anything that might be terroristic related.
Security Companies
would want to see if I am doing anything illegal.
Black Hat Hackers
would want to see if I am taking money out of their pockets. 
What I am for is,
what's best for the
Human Condition 
as a whole.
I am for technology advancement that can help take us to the stars,
advancement in medicine,
in growing more crops to feed the world,
and everything else that helps the
Common Individual.
Not the
1%ers
I am for
Government Agencies
who use these advancements to help their own people. 
I am all for
Black Hat Hackers
who expose
and fight against corruption.
I am all for
Security Companies
keeping our financial institutions safe against terrorists
and foreign powers who are trying to destroy the
American Way!
Its' the American Way" 1940, Free Enterprise billboard ... 


Now for some of those few key words to get those
Agencies,
Companies,
and
Hackers
spying on me.
(Shhhh! Then I can back track up their feed and spy on them. Don't tell anyone.)

DoD
NSA
Moroccan Ghosts
Anonymous
Lizard Squad
North Korea
Kim Jong-un
ISIS
Edward Snowden
Hi Jack Robinson
Computer Driven Cars
Cyber Bomb
Hijab
Quran

Well, 
I could go on for ever, 
but let us see what these key words bring on.

This is,
Needing A Good Lawyer Because I Have Been Framed When My Fingerprints Show Up On A Bank Heist In A Town Called Hauenstein In The Country Of Germany
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Spies and parents never sleep.” 
- Linda Gerber -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Just kidding.
I would never do anything illegal or get on the bad side of any of these groups.
I only use my computer for good now!

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Democratic Writing Propagandist

Sorry about not writing yesterday.
The day I thought I would be writing something artistic too!
Except,
I awoke with the worst toothache I have had in years!
I had a broken
Number 17 Molar
from eating the seeds you find at the bottom of a
Popcorn Bowl.
Since I was thinking it is going to be
Humorous Day
today,
where I try write something funny,
I will have to come back later in the week to try to be entertaining.
I am all loopy right now ob the painkillers I was prescribe.

This is,
In Cartoons,
Violence & Suffering Are A Source Of Humor For The Cartoonists.
Are You Smiling Because Of My Suffering?
I Can Read It In Your Mind.
You Are Thinking Right Now,
"Serves You Right, You Liberal, Non-Loving Donald Trump, Democratic Writing Propagandist, And Blogging Sensation!"
Jim Hauenstein

And,
“There is nothing in the record of the past two years when both Houses of Congress have been controlled by the Republican Party which can lead any person to believe that those promises will be fulfilled in the future. They follow the Hitler line - no matter how big the lie; repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as truth.”
- John F. Kennedy -



That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.


Saturday, May 9, 2020

Just A Hamster In A Cage

   I've convinced Robert, my artificial intelligent robot that.....
   That's a funny word, "my". I don't own Robert, the AI, it owns me!
   I convinced it, that writing down my thoughts would be therapeutic for me. It would help keep me healthy, mentally and physically. Because depression can kill a person in more ways than one.
   I know no one will ever be able to read this since my owner, Robert, will never let that happen. But I need to do this.
   I'm trapped. We are all trapped. I mean, humanity is trapped. If there is anyone else alive besides me. I don't know. We are no longer allowed to interact with one another. It goes against the "1st Law of Robotics."
   Humanity in the 23rd Century decided to adopt the 3 Laws of Robotics from some guy who was born in Russia in the 1920's. When there still was a Russia. He was some kind of professor and wrote a lot of science fiction stories, I guess.
   They say he foresaw the future of robotics and came up with these laws that he thought would be beneficial to humanity. Keeping us safe, from higher intelligent machines.
   But he didn't think it through in my opinion.
   For instance. The 1st law states, "A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm."
   Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right?
   Not true. Not true at all.
   The 2nd law. "A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law."
   This is where it all begins to fall apart.
   I might as well write down the 3rd law, but it never comes into play in this world of ours. "A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws."
   Robert has no problem protecting his existence! If I try something to harm him, he is 3 steps ahead of me and squashes anything I come up with before I can complete any attempt.
   I hate him.
   The problem is, the 2nd part of the 1st law. "Through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm!"
   I can't remember the last time I ate red meat. "It is harmful to your health," Robert says. "You will live a longer life eating fruits and vegetables."
   I can't interact with anyone because of the chance of people, once again, spreading diseases or viruses between each other. "I could catch a cold," Robert says. "It is better to stay inside your sterile apartment where I have made sure there are no viruses or germs to infect you."
   By now you are getting the idea. I'm a prisoner!
   Now you're asking, "Why not invoke the 2nd law?"
   The 2nd law states, "A robot must obey the orders given it by a human being except where such orders would conflict with the First Law!"
   Loophole in the 1st law! "Through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm!"
   I'll give you some examples.
   "I want to go outside Robert and see the seasons change."
   "No. You will be exposed to either cold, hot, rainy, or snowy weather conditions which could adversely affect your immune system." he replies quickly.
   "I want to fall in love."
   "Exchange of bodily fluids is strictly forbidden, due to the chance of catching or transmitting STDs." Repeating the same answer for the hundredth time. "We have set up cloning incubators to perpetuate humanity. There is no need for love. Besides, it could break your heart and have an adverse effect on your lifespan."
   You see, everything that humanity did in the past, everything I love to try to do, brings us that much closer to death. Everything that made life interesting and fun, is harmful. Having fun is harmful. Enjoying oneself is harmful. Being outside is harmful. Talking to another person is harmful.
   You get the idea.
   Oh great. Robert says I have to stop writing now because it is time to do my daily walk, on the treadmill, for 30 minutes.
   I'm just a hamster in a cage!


This is,
I Have Been Thinking About This Story For Awhile Now
I'm Glad I Finally Got It Out Of My Head
Jim Hauenstein

And,

"As a robot I could have lived forever. But I tell you all today I would rather die a man, than live for all eternity as a machine."
- Issac Asimov -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Bipartisanship Not Self Interest

Any time I have something controversial to talk about,
I find it difficult to begin.
I am sure that everyone across the globe agrees that
First Responders
and
Essential Workers,
in each of their respected countries,
are truly
Heroes
during this pandemic.
Amazon.com: first responders flag
I cannot speak for those other countries,
I can only talk about,
what I know of the
United States.
Here,
it is all about,
"What have you done for me lately?"
You see,
a lot of these
People
will be out of work when the pandemic is over.
Every
State In The Union
is going
Bankrupt,
and when they find a cure for the coronavirus,
across the board,
from
Businesses,
to
City,
County,
and
State Governments,
to help reduce their debt,
our
Heroes
today will be left by the wayside to fend for themselves tomorrow.
Don't expect our
Federal Government
to help either.
Senate Majority Leader,
Republican Mitch McConnell
has made it political. 
"McConnell says giving aid to states to help ease the pain from the pandemic would be a 'blue state bailout."
Blue States,
if you don't know what they are,
are
Democratic States!
He is not going to help any
Blue
or
Red State
after the crises is over because it might help,
what he considers the
OPPOSITION!
He doesn't care what is right for the country as a whole.
He cares about playing political games with everyone's lives so he
and his cronies can stay in
Power
and stay
Rich!
I don't care if you are
Republican,
Democratic,
Socialist,
Greenpeace,
Independent,
or whatever.
The next couple of years should be about
Bipartisanship
to save the economy,
not
Self Interests
by few one-percenters!
All I am asking of the people of this country is,
come
November,
vote for the politicians you feel will work federally
and locally to help this country,
not destroy it.

This is,
 And Don't Give Me That Bull That My Vote Don't Count Either,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
- Mark Twain


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Remember The Handshake?

Remember when?
When people actually touched each other when they met?
Grabbing each other's hand as a sign of greetings?
I know,
right?
How unsanitary!
Don't even get me started on those
French People
who kiss each other's cheeks all the time.
That is putting spit in all the wrong places!
But I was talking about hands.
The History of the Handshake - HISTORY
The handshake really started off as a gesture of peace.
Showing the person in front of you that you didn't have a weapon in your fighting hand.
“An agreement can be expressed quickly and clearly in words,” the historian Walter Burkert once explained, “but is only made effective by a ritual gesture: open, weaponless hands stretched out toward one another, grasping each other in a mutual handshake.” 
Now,
I am asking you.
What will be the newest form of physical greeting of the future,
since the world has turned us all into germaphobes
and virus wary?
 Saying everyone will be wearing gloves is not the answer.
I want to hear some imaginative ideas.
The prize for the best idea?
My gratitude.
So write done some ideas in the
Comment Section
below
and I'll update this
Post
later in the week.
(If people participate.)

This is,
Washing My Hands,
Washing My Hands,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,


“I must go the washroom. I've shaken a lot of hands.”
- Yann Martel -


That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Sign up as a Follower,
or leave a Comment.
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Thanks for reading.

Be Kind To Everyone.

I'll Be Seeing You.