I Am On Vacation

It is time for a vacation!

First,

I am headed to

San Antonio!

 

Next I am going to

Shreveport, Louisiana!

 

Then there will be a stop at

Richmond, Virginia!

 

Finally,

Marshfield, Wisconsin!

 

Before traveling back to sunny

California.

When I get to

Wisconsin

I will try to say hi to everyone if I can,

but this trip is all about seeing some of my

Kids,

Grandchildren,

Siblings,

and my

Father.

During the 3 months that I will be gone I will try to write as much as I can.

Read some of my

Short Stories & Flash Fiction

to keep yourself entertained in the mean time

and I will be

Re-Posting

a lot of my older stuff that I feel is relevant.

This is,

Letting All The Weirdos Who Know Where I Live That My House Will Not be Vacant,

I Am Going On This Trip With My Grandson

And Everyone Else Is Staying Home

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“When all else fails, take a vacation.”
- Betty Williams - 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

If you are reading this on a

Cell-Phone,

below this story you will see a

Link

where it says;

View Web Version.

To truly get the full benefit of my

Blog,

I suggest you view the web version.

You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it on a cellphone.

Thanks again.

How To Improve Your Fitness Score

Well first,

I want to start out by exposing some of you older folks out there.

Unless you are one of those power walkers,

joggers,

or fitness geeks under the age of 45,

you probably didn't buy your fitness watch yourself.

It was given to you by your kids

or somebody else who loves you.

They bought it because you don't exercise like you used to.

The person who gave it to you says they will be coming back each week to check your progress.

That is when you go out to buy a cat

and a dog.

To improve your step count you put your fitness watch on your dog.

Then to track your sleep cycles you put it on your cat.

Fitbit Users Are Finding Creative Ways to Cheat | Fortune.com

Then the person who is keeping an eye on you will come over

and complement you on your outstanding progress!

And you just smile.

Of course,

I would never do that myself.

I just told my kids I lost it

and stuffed deep inside a drawer!

This is,

1, 2, 3, Push-ups

That's Enough For Tonight

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate."

- Charles Schulz -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

If you are reading this on a

Cell-Phone,

you will see a

Link

on the bottom of the page,
after all the headlines of stories
where it says;
View Web Version.

To truly get the full benefit of my

Blog,

I suggest you view the web version.

You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it on a cellphone.

Thanks Again.

San Diego Comic Con Is Coming Back To Town And You Should Be Afraid

Here is a
True
story that happened to me during the
San Diego Comic-Con
around
July 2016
called
Fighting Off Genetically Engineered Mutants Who Are Turtles

*****
It was a close one today

Boys and Girls.

You could be asking yourself right now,
"What Was?"

Could it be,

that I am talking about the overdue

Earthquake

 that all the noted

Seismologist

 have predicted for

California?

Which will probably make my back yard,

Beach Front Property?

Or,

could it be,

that I am talking about the hazards of living in a

Trailer Park?

Right in the smack dab middle of

Tornado Alley.

What I believe happened to me,

that is to say,

if my instincts haven't failed me yet,

and I'm pretty sure they haven't,
that

Aliens,

from another

Planet,

had spotted me driving around town

and have decided that I am a really good specimen to probe!

Of course,

if that were truly the case,

I was probably in a high speed chase with the

Aliens,

where I was driving my

Mercedes,

and the

Aliens

were buzzing overhead in a

Flying Saucer!

Then I would have had to fight off the genetically engineered

Mutants
before being captured by the

Slave Robots

of the

Warlord Proxima,

from the Star system,

Alpha Centauri.

He used his

Amnesia-Sleep-Inducing-Where-Did-I-Wake-Up-From-This-Morning-Death-Ray

on all of the unsuspecting groups of people,

who were innocently attending some kind of

Comic-Con

at the

Convention Center
in
San Diego.

The Cosplayers,

had gathered around our little ferocious melee,

probably thinking we are making a independent film for the opening day of

Comic-Con.

Well,
I can't confirm nor deny that the last little tidbit of news is true because the warlord,

Proxima,

shot me himself with the

A.S.I.W.D.I.W.U.T.M.-Death-Ray!

He is a good shot too!

I nary felt a thing.

If you were here,

right now,

in

San Diego,

you would not believe your eyes.

You would know my warnings are serious by seeing all the different types of

Aliens

roaming the streets!

Here are a couple of the really ugly ones.

Well,

Boys and Girls,

I told you it was a close one.

It was,

really.

Because I Could Have Been Captured By One Of These Ugly Looking Aliens,

Flown To Their Home Planet In Their Flying Spaceship,

Probably To Be Probe!

This is,

Safe
And Sound Now In My Own Little World,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Cosplay. Why you just said the magic word!”
 - Danika Stone, -

Don't Call Me A Chicken!

I could have been probe!

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

If you are reading this on a

Cell-Phone,

you will see a

Link

on the bottom of the page,
after all the headlines of stories
where it says;
View Web Version.

To truly get the full benefit of my

Blog,

I suggest you view the web version.

You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it on a cellphone.

Thanks Again.

Re-Posting

Since I am on vacation
and don't have my computer with me,
I am
Re-Posting
an important message!

*****
I have been asking everyone I know if they will please sign up as a

Follower

on my

Blog

so I can show

Publishers

I have a following

and will be able to sell my manuscript.

But

Blogger

doesn't make it easy for anyone.

If,

like almost everyone today,

you are looking at this

Post

on your phone,

they make it seem impossible.

I do appreciate everyone trying to sign up though

and I appreciate everyone still coming back daily to read what I have to say on my

Blog.

Please don't get frustrated.

The problem,

when looking on your phone is,

Blogger

uses what is called the

Mobile Version

of a website.
What that does is,

it takes away all the extra designs,

headings,

thrills,

and frills I am able to put on the

Web Version.

This lets the

Mobile Version

load faster onto your phone

and lets you see,

what they consider the important content in a larger font size.

The

Web Version

is always loaded in the tiniest of fonts so they can show the whole webpage.

Unfortunately,

the only way to sign up as a

Follower

is to look at the

Web Version.

The best way of signing up as a

Follower

is to open up whichever

Browser

you like to use.

Like

Internet Explorer,

Edge,

Chrome,

Mozilla Firefox,

Opera,

and so on.

If your

Homepage

isn't

Google.com

go to that page.

If you already have a

Gmail Account,

sign in.

If not,

you will have to create one.

Once you have done that,

in the search box type in

Two Buck Howie

and a link to my

Blog

will pop up.

Press on that link.

Then you will see the

Mobile Version

of my

Blog.

Near the bottom you will see where it says

View Web Version.

 Click on that link

and of course the

Web Version

will load.

Then,

on the right hand side,

under the heading

"Followers,"

you will see near the top a blue link titled

Follow.

Press on this

and you will be able to say yes to be the next

Follower!

See how

Blogger

makes it almost impossible for most people to sign up!

But please,

take the time to do so

and you will be helping me out tremendously.

I'm trying to figure out a way to reward the people who do.

Right now I'm thinking a free copy of my book to the first 50

Followers

when it comes out.

If I am able to convince a

Publisher

that I have enough

Followers

to publish it.
I want to thank
Delbert Hauenstein,
Kayla Littmann,
Andrew Victor Bano,
Wild Litt Litt,
and
Sean Russell
for signing up as my new
Followers!

This is,

Thank You Once Again,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“I still encourage anyone who feels at all compelled to write to do so. I just try to warn people who hope to get published that publication is not all it is cracked up to be. But writing is. Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do, the actual act of writing, turns out to be the best part. The act of writing turns out to be its own reward.”
- Anne Lamott -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

If you are reading this on a

Cell-Phone,

you will see a

Link

on the bottom of the page,
after all the headlines of stories
where it says;
View Web Version.

To truly get the full benefit of my

Blog,

I suggest you view the web version.

You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it.

Thanks Again.

The 5 Best Posts Of The Month Of May 2019!

I am still on vacation so I have to do this

Post

as fast as I can.

You see,

I need to pay attention to my family

and not sit on the computer for hours.

So,

here are

The 5 Best Posts Of The Month Of May, 2019!

The Fifth Best Post Of The Month Of May, 2019 Is;

Mar's Boarding Pass

This is the second time I will have my name on a chip sent to Mars on one of NASA's rovers. This time I hope I have given everyone enough warning so you too can have your name sent to Mars.

The Fourth Best Post Of The Month Of May Is;

Giving Thanks On Memorial Day To The Real Heroes

One of my pet peeves where Sports Figures and Announcers talk about going to war and being in a battle when all they are doing is playing a game.

The Third Best Post Of The Month Is;

Just My Opinion

Where people who are sent to prison should not be allowed to pull scams while incarcerated. Like Bernard Madoff. He has cornered the Hot Chocolate market while in prison. Also, why do they have so much freedom when they are criminals?

The Second Best Post Is;

It Was Surreal

The true story of when my friend Brian and I got into a bar fight and in the midst of it the song "A Ballroom Blitz" came on!

The Number One Best Post Of The Month Of May, 2019 Is;

The Moving Mona Lisa

The story about how computer programmers can make any picture act as if it is alive and moving. The part I hate the most? They gave the Mona Lisa eyebrows!

There you have it.
Another great month of stories.

This is,
Back To My Gin
and Tonic,
Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"No man needs a vacation so much as the the man who has just had one."

- Elbert Hubbard -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

If you are reading this on a

Cell-Phone,

below this story you will see a

Link

where it says;

View Web Version.

To truly get the full benefit of my

Blog,

I suggest you view the web version.

You will just have to expand the page to be able to read it on a cellphone.

Thanks Again.

Since I'm On Vacation

Since I am on vacation,
I thought I would
Re-Post
a story from the last time I ended up in
Wisconsin
while on vacation.
From
July 17th, 2016
my
Post
called
Rock Star Syndrome

*****
This is how my train of thought goes.

In my

Post

from a couple of days ago called

I'm Back,

I talked about my

"Glory Days"

with some of my

Band Mates

from years gone by.

How I was invited by

The Professor

from

Bowie State University in Maryland,

to participate in an impromptu jam session

but was unable to go because of family obligations.

This got me to thinking about how it felt to be on stage in front of any size crowd.

The so called

Rock Star Syndrome.

That got me to thinking about a time in my life where I felt like a

Rock Star

for the very last time.

During the 1990's I owned season tickets to the

San Diego Chargers

football team.

On one occasion I took my wife.

Before the game started,

The Marine Corps

 from

Camp Pendleton 

were outside the stadium demonstrating equipment

and showing off some of the larger vehicles of war.

Just inside the entrance to the stadium,

in the common area,

there stood a

Tank.

It was guarded by

five or six

Marines.

Luckily for me,

they recognized me from working on the base.

They started yelling,

"Hey, there's Jim. Hi Jim!"

They waved

and yelled

and I waved back.

All around the area people were staring at me wondering who I was.

Was I a celebrity,

a person of prominence,

or maybe a

Rock Star?

It was crowded too!

People stared at me

and talked about me all the while I was walking to my seat.

It was the last time that I felt like a

Rock Star!

Thank you

United States Marines!

This is,

I Wouldn't Tell You This Story If It Wasn't True,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

"Having rock-star problems may be the closest I ever get to being an actual rock star." - Cassandra Clare, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower,

or Set up my Blog

as your Homepage

on your Web-browser,

or Leave a Comment,

or a Suggestion,

and I will answer you in a Post.

Thanks for reading.

I saw this was on a Highway sign in Oklahoma while on the way home;

"Blinkers, the original instant messaging!"