I Feel A Little Humorous

What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
  A Beer in each hand!

 

The other day a friend of mine

and I were disusing what men find attractive in women.

I said,

"I think more men today are looking for intelligence in a woman."

And he said,

"Sure, that is the first thing men are looking for when they stick their hands on a woman's dress. A library card!"

You know what the most beautiful words in the English language are?

I told you so!

When you lose your rifle in the Army they charged you $85.

That’s why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.

The Revenant

(2015).


An epic tale of one man’s desperate journey to 
do whatever it takes to 
finally win an Oscar.

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the Party City Store first and asked a few questions.

A sign outside of a Buddhist Temple in Nepal read,

“If you lived here, you’d be om by now.”

The closest a person can ever come to perfection is when they are writing their own resume.

I think it’s pretty cool how 
the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos!

Bifocals are God’s way of saying,

“Keep your chin up.”

I’d rather spend ten minutes 
rearranging the dishwasher to 
accommodate another dish than spend 30 seconds washing it by hand!

Why did God invent whiskey?
  So the Irish would never rule the world!

This is,

Me Saying That Instagram Is Twitter For People Who Go Outside

Jim Hauenstein

And

“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
- Tom Robbins, -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Be kind to everyone

 

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A Day In The Life

Disclaimer: I do not advocate the use of Marijuana for anyone. It is a personal choice. People reading this might not be in the part of the country or the world where Marijuana is legal. But where I live, it is.

*****

I have a funny story about my wife I would like to tell.

 

   One day I had to drive my wife to see a specialist about her diabetes. She had her diabetes under control but with our health insurance you had to see a specialist once a year to make sure you were still on the right track.

   The appointment was in the afternoon so my wife got board and smoked a little marijuana to past the time. (No, I don't smoke.) Unbeknownst to me, she brought along some chocolate candies for her munchies.

   When we arrived, the waiting room is full off diabetics. Some with blacken legs and some in wheelchairs with parts of their legs amputated off.

   My wife could make friends anywhere. She started talking to the people around us. This is when she got hungry and brought out her chocolate. She asked loudly so everyone could hear, "Does anybody want some?"

   I said quietly and a little angrily, "Stop it. Don't do that."

   She said to me loud enough so everyone could hear, "Why? I just want to be friendly."

   Some smiled, some laughed, but nobody got mad at her because they all knew she was sincere!

 This is,

Offering Chocolate To Diabetics

Only My Wife Could Get Away With That

Jim Hauenstein

And

“Can I come back and see you sometime?"
"Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and smiled. "I'm partial to chocolate."
"Gramma, you're diabetic."
"I'm old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.”
- Rachel Caine -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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  I would love to hear from you

Thanks for reading

 

Be kind to everyone

 

I'll be seeing you

   

Live Feed

Update; I am a little over half way editing my new eBook and I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to do the cover. I can't take pictures off the internet because I don't own them. I'm looking for either a photographer or an artist who will work for free. They will get credited of course but so far it looks like I will only be able to recoup my investment. Yet, I will carry on. Thanks

*****

Periodically I go check out

Live eruptions of the Popocatépetl Volcano in Mexico.

I haven't seen anything exciting yet but it is one of the most active volcanoes on Earth.

I'm not all doom

and gloom.

I also put on the

NASA

channel where you see the

Earth

flying by underneath the

ISS.

Usually I will have it on the big screen while I listen to music

and I'm doing my chores. 
We live in the

Orwellian World

of

Webcams

my friend.

I'm not just taking about

Asia & Europe.

You wouldn't believe how many cameras are watching the beaches in the

United States.

Search the internet if you don't believe me.

This is,

George Orwell's 1984 We Live In

Jim Hauenstein

 

And

 

"In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

- George Orwell -

 

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

Like what you are reading?

Sign up as a Follower

or Leave a Comment

 

  I would love to hear from you

Thanks for reading

 

Be kind to everyone

 

I'll be seeing you