I Work On My Afflictions

 The reason I didn't write yesterday will become apparent after you read today's
Post
called
Afflicted By One Of The Seven Deadly Sins
dated
October 5th, 2015.
(Man, that was a lot of work.)
*****
 I have written
Posts
on

Listening,

Obsession,

Choices,

Being Important,

Anger,

and other

Skills & Habits

the
Human Species
develops during a person's lifetime.

But there is a threat to our very existence that each of us must fight off each day of our lives.

You might be thinking that this menace could be an

Addiction,

or a

Disease?

Might it be

Gluttony,

Envy,

Pride,

Lust,

Greed,

or something simple as being

Angry
all the time.

No,

it's not one of these selfish traits,

but is one of the most heinous of all the

Seven Deadly Sins.

This threat is eating at the heart of
Humanities
survival.

That if left unchecked,

it could mean the end of mankind!

What am I talking about?

What is this parasite that all of us should fear?

It's called,

LAZINESS!

(Sloth is the name of the sin in Christianity.)

Yes,

Laziness.

So get off your buttocks

and do something in this
World
worthwhile.

Help someone in need.

Help your neighbor,

a friend,

or a family member.

Listen to someone who needs to talk to feel better.

Give your time to a charitable cause.

Just don't sit their

and be a pessimist on the state of the
World!

Do something about it!

Like I did today.

(Patting myself on the back.)

Getting off the
Freeway
I saw a

Homeless Man

holding up a cardboard sign which read,

Hungry, Will Work For Food.

So,

you know what I did?

I said,

"Here, take this dollar. No I have no work for you or refuge from this rain. And no, I can't give you a ride to the Homeless Shelter."

Why?

Because I'm too damn lazy!

(At least I gave him a buck.)

This is,

My Words Speak Louder Then My Actions Sometimes,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,
 

"Do as I say, not as I do."

- Ancient Proverb -

 That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

 

 

Professor Boris Says Ghosts Are Real

    My name is Professor Boris Kamara Rakoczy. Professor Boris for short. I am head of Supernatural Studies at the Eötvös Loránd University in Hungary. A prestigious Paranormal Research University based in Budapest since 1635. Being a non-believer of the supernatural myself and studying the phenomenon of the paranormal is a double edge sword, even in today's world. You would think by now that even the most rural of Hungarian would be educated enough to stop believing in such fantasy creatures like Vampires, Witches, or Ghosts. But then I would be out of a job.
   I no longer teach the history and folklore of the old Hungarian culture at the school. My job now consists mostly of debunking what people believe are haunting them. My grant money is paid directly to the University by the Hungarian Government to finally put an end to Witch burning, ritual Vampire burials, and Ghostly visitations. Bringing the Hungarian people into the 19th Century instead of our countrymen believing in the 16th Century folklore.
   It is easy to stop a village from burning a suspected Witch if I reach the crime scene in time. I can prove that the mass hysteria the villagers are experiencing over seeing flying creatures is due to the town's Baker. Scrapping off the mold from his old bread does not completely clean the bread. What the Baker does not know is, the colorful mold he sees on the surface of food is just the tip of what is going on inside. He is trying to make a profit and the villagers pay by their hallucinations.
   When one of the many elderly secluded backwoodsmen apparently die suddenly and there is a rash of children waking up in the morning with small looking bite marks afterwards, it is not because the woodsman is rising from the grave in the middle of the night to feed on sleeping kids. I can prove that bed bugs are passed along through the school system from one child to the next.
   As far as phantom spirits go, it could be something as simple as having great eyesight on a very clear and bright day and a person sees for the first time the little microbes swimming on the fluid covering their eyes. Before microscopes, people were actually executed for seeing these microbes on their eyeballs.
   Ghost are usually the easiest to debunk with the local villagers.
   But not this time.
   I saw one myself!
   I am in the town of Kiskunfélegyháza where I have witnessed my first true sighting.
   My mentor, Professor Liechtenstein, told me he witnessed a ghost phenomenon back when he first started. He said the only way someone has ever seen a real ghost is by the lack of clothing on the specter.
   We have all seen the pictures of supposed ghost, the way movies depict ghost, and the way writers describe a ghost to their readers. But according to Professor Liechtenstein, the clothing a person dies in does not pass on to the next realm with the deceased. When we die, our spirit leaves behind all worldly possessions.
   So it was quite the shock when I saw a female strolling along the river in her birthday suite.
   I do not know what I am going to say to my superiors. They will think I have gone mad.
   My next step is to track the specter the first chance I get and see where it leads me.
   I will continue this correspondence once I have further evidence.

This is,

Professor Boris Kamara Rakoczy Telling You To Stay Tuned

 And,

“Of all ghosts the ghosts of our old loves are the worst.”
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

 

How I Got Married

   I got married the old fashion way. There was alcohol and a shotgun involved. Wait, no shotgun. Her father liked me and always new I would do the right thing even though I never knew that I would.

   It all started when I was a wee little boy. Wait again, that's too far back and I'm not even Scottish.

   The truth is, my future soulmate one day came to me and said, "I'm pregnant." And me being the most outstanding righteous person that I was at the time replied, "I'll support you and the baby for the rest of my life."

   You see, up until this point I had been a life long bachelor and at the age of 36 years old figured that my chance at a happy marriage had passed me by. Plus, I drank too much.

   My soulmate had a different idea.

   She told me later that she knew I would be a good provider for a family. She was a widower with three children and I was already helping out.

   Yet the thought of marriage scared me.

   Well, when my honey was 8 months pregnant, we decided to take a trip to Las Vegas for a week with my roommate and his girlfriend.

   Unbeknownst to me my girlfriend, roommate, and his girlfriend had a plan. It began with funneling me with a lot of alcohol the second night of our stay. I had already told my wife to be that I loved her many times and I was with my drinking buddy so I was having a good time with our little group. Besides, it was Vegas.

   About 3am my girlfriend, my friend, and his girlfriend started telling me that, "We should have a double wedding!"

   I was in such a good mood that I said, "Sure." thinking that we'll all pass out before we are able to get a marriage licenses.

   They new, but I didn't, that you can get a license 24/7 in Vegas!

   After my friend and I finished standing in line I thought both of us had marriage certificates, as Las Vegas used to call them. As soon as the Chapel Of The Bells opened up in the morning the four of us were there to walk in. My friend said that I and Julieta, my future wife, should go first and him and his girlfriend would be the witnesses for our wedding and then we could do the same for theirs. After the Blind Pastor said,"You may kiss the bride." we all went to the first casino we could and celebrated the rest of the night!

   Yes, Julieta and I were the only ones to be married that day out of our little group and I didn't realize it until the next day. Those three had planned the whole thing including going to Vegas and our first child together was born in wedlock. But I got the last laugh because I got to spend 28 wonderful years with the woman I loved!

Don't even think about commenting on my smile,

my hair,

or my clothes.

 

This is,

Julieta Loved Me

And We Raised Seven Beautiful Children Together

Jim Hauenstein

 

And,

 

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
- Sarah Dessen -

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

 

It's Valentine's Day

Well it's

Valentine's Day.

"Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is celebrated annually on February 14. It originated as a Western Christian feast day honoring one or two early saints named Valentinus. Valentine's Day is recognized as a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and romantic love in many regions around the world, although it is not a public holiday in any country." - Wikipedia -

Here is my

Valentine"s Day Card

for my beloved.

 It has the poem I wrote for

Valentine's Day

and the

Music

I put the words to

and the

Video

I made for it.

(Sorry, I am not the singer since I wrote the music when I was in a Rock Band. But it is from me.)

This is,

Not Wanting To Keep You Away From Your Loved Ones

TwoBuckHowie

 

https://youtu.be/wL28tfdlwvM

 

And

“Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday.”
- Ted Kooser -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

 

Bringing Humor Back Into The Equation

It is

Friday,

here in my part of the

World.

A day in which we like to get our groove on.

That was not always the case in my life.

You see I grew up with an

Irish Catholic Mother.

And she wanted me to become a

Priest.

I went to a

Catholic Grade School

until

8th Grade.

I went to

Church,

as an

Alter Boy

six days a week

and on

Saturdays,

I had

Catechism.

In

High School,

because of my beautiful

High School Sweetheart,

I discovered

Sex!

After that,

can you imagine the double slap in the face I would have received if I had become a

Priest?

First,

I would have had to give up sex,

and second,

I would have had to listen to everyone else talk about their infidelity in the

Confessional Booth!

*****

Raising seven kids,

I was often asked if I had a favorite child.

I would answer,

"Of course I did! It was the one I never had to worry about doing drugs or drinking alcohol while growing up. Had perfect attendance in school and got straight A's in every class. Polite to elders all the time and always willing to help out when asked."

"Wow!"

they would say and then ask me which one was it?

I would tell them,

"It's my neighbor's kid!"

*****

Why can't you hear a

Pterodactyl

going to the

Bathroom?

Because the

P

is silent!

No,

I am not above childish humor.

 

This is,

Hoping I Started Your Weekend Off With A Good Laugh,

Jim Hauenstein,

And,

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
-Paul Terry -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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I'll Be Seeing You

 

Electric Dave Peddling His Music

I have been having a hard time trying to think of something to write about

but sometimes you just need a little help from your friends.

Electric Dave sent me a link to

GearNews

where they talk about the new

Rainger FX Minibar - Liquid Analyser!

"The Minibar is a liquid analyser pedal, a truly revolutionary stompbox that uses the properties of a liquid to decide the sound of your guitar!"

 Of course they demonstrate it using alcohol.

I don't want to be a

Doubting Thomas

here,

but wouldn't it sound better with non-alcohol beverages?

It seems like a waist of good booze.

 

This is,

I am not endorsing the product or do I get paid to advertising the product

But I really do Like the idea of it

Jim Hauenstein

 

And,

 

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
- George Best -

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You

 

One Year Later

I know I haven't been writing lately.

This is a bad time of the year for me.

It's the one year anniversary of my wife's passing.

To me she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

She loved me for all of my qualities

and forgave me for all of my faults.

Love you Honey.

 

This is,

I Miss Her

Jim Hauenstein

 

And,

 

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu

 

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

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Thanks for reading

Be Kind To Everyone

I'll Be Seeing You